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Greybush needs your help! photo

I am about to embark on a journey. A vision quest if you will. I have moved to mother Russia and I am running up and down snow covered mountains and sweating heavily in a barn with a fat guy. Just like Rocky in ... well I can't remember what Rocky movie it was. I have drastically changed my diet for this training. The days of nothing but Mt. Dew, cigarettes and beer are gone. Now it is strictly Mt. Dew, cigarettes, beer and hardcore anabolic steroids. But I need more. I need you. Help me Obi-Wan Community. You're my only hope.

On July 30th, I will be competing in an invite only tournament by EA with 16 other players from around the Internets in a no holds barred game of Wing Commander Arena on XBLA. Like Lui Kang in the Mortal Kombat movie, sans the sh*tty acting, it will be a battle to the death. Why do I need you? There are prizes involved, and they are big. If I win, these prizes won't be going straight to the pawn shop/strip club as usual. They will be going to you. Everything I win, will in fact be given out here at Dtoid to our community.

Here is a quick rundown of what I can win, by you helping me win, so that you can win what I win after you helped me win it. Understand?

GRAND PRIZE:

  • Panasonic 50" 1080p Flat-Panel Plasma HDTV
  • Bose 3-2-1 GSX Home Theater System with Progressive-Scan
  • Xbox360 Elite
  • Extra Controller
  • Xbox Live Gold Membership
  • Wing Commander Arena + 11,200 Microsoft Points
  • Partridge in a pear tree (This prize is subject to not be real)

RUNNER UP 1, 2 and 3

  • Xbox360 Elite
  • Wing Commander Arena + 11,200 Microsoft Points

Hit the jump to find out how you can help a starving child for pennies a day.

nstink 

This Friday for Destructoid's weekly Friday Night Fights, I ask that you beat me repeatedly at Wing Commander Arena. To take out people like Brian "Magical Hair" Crecente, I must be in the best shape and conditioning of my life. Track down my gamertag, Roncore, and make me learn to love the pain. Everyone is free to jump in the action (Except Grim because he is like Rain Man on XBLA). Please come and join this Epic battle which should look something like the picture below.

nstink

[Special thanks to Ben Swanson, the Community Manager at EA for the invite]

 






Contests Official Rules



No Purchase Required to Enter or Win

1. Eligibility: Destructoid.com contests are usually provided by sponsors who, due to customs and shipping costs (yay budgets), often limit participation to individuals who are legal residents of the fifty (50) United States (unless otherwise stated) and are 12 years of age. We encourage our overseas friends to be super sneaky and make a friend in the United States who can receive your prize, and then you two figure out the customs/logistics. Be cautious about who you trust, obviously. Employees of destructoid.com, their advertising or promotion agencies, those involved in the production, development, implementation or handling of Contests, any agents acting for, or on behalf of the above entities, their respective parent companies, officers, directors, subsidiaries, affiliates, licensees, service providers, prize suppliers any other person or entity associated with the Contests (collectively “Contest Entities”) and/or the immediate family (spouse, parents, siblings and children) and household members (whether related or not) of each such employee, are *not* eligible and will be fired and publicly beaten if are caught participating. All U.S., federal, state and local and regulations apply.

2. Agreement to Official Rules: Participation in the Contest constitutes entrant’s full and unconditional agreement to and acceptance of these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.

3. Entry Period: The start and end dates/times of each Contest (the “Entry Period”) will be posted on the applicable Contest site.

4. Entry: To enter a Contest, follow the instructions on the Contest site. Submission will result in one (1) entry. The number of times you can enter the Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The use of any agencies or automated software to submit entries will void all entries submitted by that person.

5. Drawing: At the conclusion of the Entry Period, we will select the names of the potential winners in a random drawing of all eligible entries received during each Entry Period. The number of winners to be selected in a specific Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The odds of being selected as a potential winner depend on the number of eligible entries received during the Entry Period. Potential winners will be contacted via email and will be asked to provide their full name, age and mailing address within a specified time period. If a potential winner does not respond within the timeframe stated in the notification email, we may select an alternate potential winner in his/her place at random from all entries received during the Entry Period. Limit one (1) prize per household per Contest.

6. Requirements of the Potential Winners: Winners will be notified by the e-mail address associated with their account on destructoid.com.com and/or receive a Private Message on destructoid.com.com or through a Twitter Direct Message/Facebook message. Winners have five (5) days from the original message alerting them of their winnings to respond and claim their prize. If no winner comes forward within five business days, the prize will be forfeited and raffled again where Destructoid's hardcore fans are most active (forums/community blogs/facebook group).

7. Prize(s): The prize(s) (including each prize’s approximate retail value) available to be won in a specific Contest will be posted on the Contest site. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winners are responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize. Prizes will be mailed between 1 to 45 business days after winners have replied with their required info.

8. General Conditions: In the event that the operation, security, or administration of the Contest is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus, or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Contest to address the impairment and then resume the Contest in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prizes at random from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In case of a dispute as to the owner of an entry, entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the screen name from which the entry is made. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider, or other organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address.

9.Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Contest, entrants agree to release and hold harmless the Contest Entities from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Contest or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Contest; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers, or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected, or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Contest or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Contest or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Contest Entities’ liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Contest, and in no event shall the Contest Entities be liable for attorney’s fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct, or indirect damages.

10. Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Contest or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, entrant’s rights and obligations, or the rights and obligations of the Sponsors in connection with the Contest, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the Commonwealth of Virginia or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the Commonwealth of Virginia.

11. Contest Results: To enter the contest without needing to buy/sell anything or request a written copy of the name of the winners, send a self-addressed stamped envelope (stating the specific Contest you are requesting the winners for) to destructoid.com Contest Winners 260 King Street Suite 883, San Francisco California 94107. We run many contests, so please be specific in what you are requesting. Winner requests must be received within thirty (30) days from the end date of the applicable contest (they're always posted on our site though). Winners are usually posted the day following the contest on our contest section.

Lastly, Destructoid has the right to kick your ass and take away your prize if you are a total dickhead, so be cool and don't kick any puppies on your way to victory. Have fun with our contests and be a good sport when you win or lose. Remember: First you get the power, then you get the money, then get the baby.

 




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37 comments | showing # 1 to 37
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Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 15:43
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain
Dibs on the partridge.
RICHARD BLOCKER's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 15:45
RICHARD BLOCKER
done and done.

to all Dtoiders, my tag is DYN MINOR THREAT
droobies's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 15:45
droobies
Ron, I will help you train like Miyagi trained Daniel-San. I will actually blow money on this for you. I'm expecting sexual favors at PAX (don't tell Mandi).

I'll be on after midnight CST. Hit me up on Gtalk, Stickam, or call/text.
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 15:46
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain
Your friends list is full, by the way.
Jake Clarke's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 15:46
Jake Clarke
impressive prizes
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 15:51
GuitarAtomik
Aw man! My 360 is in the shop! I want to play!
Sheir's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 15:53
Sheir
Man. I need a 360.
Dale North's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 15:57
Dale North
Bose blows, but the rest of the prizes are ftw
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 15:57
ArrestedDeveloper
I haven't tried the demo yet but I'm pretty sure I don't want the game, therefore I will cheer from the sidelines.
Garbz's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 16:01
Garbz
Wait..so...what's the criteria for winning?

Whoever makes you look most like an alabastor retard on Wing Commander Arena?

Whoever makes you lol the most while you're being pwned?

Or simply whoever can beat you?

I need moar info damnit!
RICHARD BLOCKER's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 16:02
RICHARD BLOCKER
Down down down, Cresente going down.


Zero Iscariot's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 16:03
Zero Iscariot
I'm gonna do this thing!

ADRIAAAANNNNN!
Zero Iscariot's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 16:07
Zero Iscariot
I think all the other contestants including pirate hairdo guy wouldn't even let their audience know about the luxurious swag that EA is coercing you with, let alone give it to their readers.

Robot Planet Fah-evar
Joe Burling's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 16:09
Joe Burling
Fucking hilarious!
Mappy's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 16:09
Mappy
Count me in.
BlindsideDork's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 16:12
BlindsideDork
I will take something?
BlindsideDork's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 16:13
BlindsideDork
PS: I would play with you, but your friend list is full...
Jordan Devore's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 16:14
Jordan Devore
I wasn't planning on getting the game, but I will now. I love me some competition.
WastelandTraveler's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 16:16
WastelandTraveler
@blocker rofl @ the picture YES! hahahaha.

Oh ron I will talk to my friend this weekend and see if he will bring over his 360 and get wing commander ;)! and in return I will take a 360 ;D.
kawaiizilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 16:21
kawaiizilla
Rocky IV, with Ivan Drago and Apollo dead
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 16:24
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain
Too bad Grim wasn't invited to the contest.

Crecente would go down faster than a rock with a well-kept hairdo.
Aerox's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 16:39
Aerox
Brief question: will the prizes be given randomly to people who are playing Wing Commander with you, or will they be given out through a separate contest? I really need a new TV and now I'm debating getting a gold membership + wing commander in order to have a chance at getting one..
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 17:08
AngelsDontBurn
You know where to find me at night sir. I definitely want to partake in this! You know I'd be more than happy to help you!
Scandalous's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 17:14
Scandalous
my gamertag is constantly full btw.

@workman
you're such a e slut.

EternalDarkWing's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 17:21
EternalDarkWing
I'll be up for it, definitely. ShadowTrooper X. I'm already on your list though Ron so it shouldn't be a problem.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 17:59
Sharpless
I would if I could, Ron. I still needs me a 360. I will be there in spirit, however, kicking your spirit's ass.
cleopatrudo's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 18:15
cleopatrudo
man...I don´t have wing commander..too bad. Hope you win though....best of luck dude.
crecente's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 19:00
crecente
No worries, you're totally going to kick my ass. I keep forgetting I'm not playing the orignal Wing Commander and run into stuff. I'm sorta like the Rain Man of WC but without the whole savant thing.
Steve519's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 19:05
Steve519
that pic with Ron and N'Sync is hilarious
tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 19:06
tazarthayoot
Ron, count me in, I'll buy it tonight.
tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 19:08
tazarthayoot
WTF PIRATE SIGHTING!
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 20:02
Sharpless
*reaches out to touch Crecente's hair*
Geoff's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2007 21:15
Geoff
I'm the undisputed champion of Wing Commander. There are 42 fatal spots to shoot for to kill your opponent. I will teach you 41. The last one I may need to use on you, myself.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2007 07:34
Snaileb
I wasn't gonna buy it..but..damn.
HarassmentPanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2007 09:38
HarassmentPanda
Ron, I am at work now, but, when I return home, I will check my list to see if you are online and then work dilegently at kicking your ass.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2007 13:02
Samit Sarkar
I don’t have a 360; I have a PS3. Good luck in the tourney!

Also, I am drinking Mountain Dew Code Red right now at work. Just thought I’d mention that.

DO THE DEW!
SLiFE's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2007 14:29
SLiFE
As much as I'd love to help topple The Hair Palace, I just can't bring myself to purchase Wing Commander.
Sorry Ron, can't help you out on this one.
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