Within the past few weeks, you, the average Destructoid community member, have seen some of your peers promoted to front page editor status. While
Brad does mostly news and
Conrad was recruited for his features, they both possess a common trait: on their Community Blogs, they were prolific, eloquent writers. I would be honored to say that I am here to join the newbs for the same reasons. Unfortunately, I can't.
You may have previously known me as Dexter345, Destructoid reader since the beginning, lover of Earthbound and hater of Mega Man, one of the many fine individuals of DtoidLosAngeles, and all around pretty cool guy (if I may say so myself). But not this week.
I am here because I have signed up as Destructoid's E3 Intern Bitch.
So what will I be doing as Intern Bitch 2008? Well, apparently word has gotten out that our primadonna editors will have an intern for this trip, so they have assembled a laundry list of small requests and odd jobs for me, which I've compiled in a list for quick reference on Dtoid mobile. Hit the jump and see what being an intern at Destructoid is all about!
- Nick has requested that there be a full stock of Skittles in his hotel room at all times, arranged in Winnie the Pooh collectible jars. He noted that while the jars should always be full, the actual sound of filling jars with Skittles is bothersome for his blogging, so should only be done when he is not around.
- Colette asked that I read up on feng shui, so that I can arrange her chocobo plushies such that they enhance the natural energy of the hotel room.
- The Honorable Mr. Concelmo has requested that I now call him "The Honorable Mr. Concelmo."
- Samit has asked that I phone him in India whenever "anybody says anything about Madden '09." He instructed me to charge the long distance bill to "the, uh, Destructoid account! Yeah!"
- Niero wants his white suit dry cleaned daily, and his Destructoid helmet shined thrice daily.
- Dale has requested that I track down every CD released by The Black Mages, as he accidentally deleted them from his computer before the trip.
- Ron wants some beer and chicken fingers, like right now.
So that's it for now. Hopefully I can get all of this done tonight, so your regular editors will be primed and ready for the first day of extreme blogging about E3. You might hear from me again throughout the week, with more tales of being E3 Intern B*tch 2008.
Contest:
1:08 AM on 07.14.2008
| 
Did you get naked again?
Seriously, good sir, you rock and will make a fine intern. Dtoid editors: Abuse the hell out of this guy! :P
Don't forget to hold the umbrella over Niero to protect him from the sun.
Oh, also ... protip: When Roncore asks you to find a prostitute to "finish him off" after his drunken bender, why not surprise him with a "passable T". Homeboy loves surprises.
...Oh, so you have bad taste in gameplay, then?
I kid. Good luck being sex slave... I mean, INTERN during E3.
And what's odd is I had a dream about Winnie the Pooh last night...
ALL of the mess Ron leaves behind, in fact.
have the fun. be sure not to behave. take pictars. call me ;;
(B) YOU DIDN'T ITALICIZE THE GAME TITLE!!!
FAIL.
Have fun ya bastard.
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