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Contest update: Superdrybones wins $69 nacho+cat+skateboard flavored dollars and a slightly used Publix mallard duck. We'd  love to also send you photos of our puss-filled breasts that shoot angry babies from the nipples but you'll have to wait for the game. Thanks to everyone that participated in the contest and CTZ for pulling the random ballot while while I'm stripping for Japanese people. Teamwork!
 
Original post: Remember that check from hell?   
 
Last week, EA tempted us with $200 to test Destructoid's greed as part of their "Circle of Hell" campaign to promote Dante’s Inferno.  We armed ourselves with many of your suggestions and tried to walk the line of both greed and charity, mocking the fourth circle of hell by hitting the streets of Miami for a silly shopping spree with our camera (Hialeah-style!). If you think stealing money is hard, try giving dollar bills away in person -- you'd be surprised by how many people will turn you down! So we had to resort to other creative methods...
 
A big thank-you goes out to EA, Visceral Games, the Dante's Inferno PR minions, Virgil, and Dtoid community member SnakeDude4Life, who helped us perform videogame JOURNALISM. Also, Satan.
 






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1. Eligibility: Destructoid.com contests are usually provided by sponsors who, due to customs and shipping costs (yay budgets), often limit participation to individuals who are legal residents of the fifty (50) United States (unless otherwise stated) and are 12 years of age. We encourage our overseas friends to be super sneaky and make a friend in the United States who can receive your prize, and then you two figure out the customs/logistics. Be cautious about who you trust, obviously. Employees of destructoid.com, their advertising or promotion agencies, those involved in the production, development, implementation or handling of Contests, any agents acting for, or on behalf of the above entities, their respective parent companies, officers, directors, subsidiaries, affiliates, licensees, service providers, prize suppliers any other person or entity associated with the Contests (collectively “Contest Entities”) and/or the immediate family (spouse, parents, siblings and children) and household members (whether related or not) of each such employee, are *not* eligible and will be fired and publicly beaten if are caught participating. All U.S., federal, state and local and regulations apply.

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3. Entry Period: The start and end dates/times of each Contest (the “Entry Period”) will be posted on the applicable Contest site.

4. Entry: To enter a Contest, follow the instructions on the Contest site. Submission will result in one (1) entry. The number of times you can enter the Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The use of any agencies or automated software to submit entries will void all entries submitted by that person.

5. Drawing: At the conclusion of the Entry Period, we will select the names of the potential winners in a random drawing of all eligible entries received during each Entry Period. The number of winners to be selected in a specific Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The odds of being selected as a potential winner depend on the number of eligible entries received during the Entry Period. Potential winners will be contacted via email and will be asked to provide their full name, age and mailing address within a specified time period. If a potential winner does not respond within the timeframe stated in the notification email, we may select an alternate potential winner in his/her place at random from all entries received during the Entry Period. Limit one (1) prize per household per Contest.

6. Requirements of the Potential Winners: Winners will be notified by the e-mail address associated with their account on destructoid.com.com and/or receive a Private Message on destructoid.com.com or through a Twitter Direct Message/Facebook message. Winners have five (5) days from the original message alerting them of their winnings to respond and claim their prize. If no winner comes forward within five business days, the prize will be forfeited and raffled again where Destructoid's hardcore fans are most active (forums/community blogs/facebook group).

7. Prize(s): The prize(s) (including each prize’s approximate retail value) available to be won in a specific Contest will be posted on the Contest site. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winners are responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize. Prizes will be mailed between 1 to 45 business days after winners have replied with their required info.

8. General Conditions: In the event that the operation, security, or administration of the Contest is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus, or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Contest to address the impairment and then resume the Contest in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prizes at random from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In case of a dispute as to the owner of an entry, entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the screen name from which the entry is made. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider, or other organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address.

9.Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Contest, entrants agree to release and hold harmless the Contest Entities from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Contest or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Contest; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers, or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected, or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Contest or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Contest or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Contest Entities’ liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Contest, and in no event shall the Contest Entities be liable for attorney’s fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct, or indirect damages.

10. Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Contest or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, entrant’s rights and obligations, or the rights and obligations of the Sponsors in connection with the Contest, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the Commonwealth of Virginia or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the Commonwealth of Virginia.

11. Contest Results: To enter the contest without needing to buy/sell anything or request a written copy of the name of the winners, send a self-addressed stamped envelope (stating the specific Contest you are requesting the winners for) to destructoid.com Contest Winners 260 King Street Suite 883, San Francisco California 94107. We run many contests, so please be specific in what you are requesting. Winner requests must be received within thirty (30) days from the end date of the applicable contest (they're always posted on our site though). Winners are usually posted the day following the contest on our contest section.

Lastly, Destructoid has the right to kick your ass and take away your prize if you are a total dickhead, so be cool and don't kick any puppies on your way to victory. Have fun with our contests and be a good sport when you win or lose. Remember: First you get the power, then you get the money, then get the baby.

 




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266 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 10:51
Niero
Montage.
Tony Ponce's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:02
Tony Ponce
I like free money.
Xzyliac's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:03
Xzyliac
Hail Satan! Blood orgy!
storyr's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:04
storyr
holy mother of god, I love you guys.
playahatea45's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:05
playahatea45
INCREDIBLE!!!!!!
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:05
Hamza CTZ Aziz
THIS WAS AMAZING HOLY SHIT!
vApathyv's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:05
vApathyv
Money's good. Money's reeeeeeeeal good. Daddy's got a Kia that needs registration.
DJDuffy 's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:06
DJDuffy
oh my god. I'm speechless.
nukka jdav's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:07
nukka jdav
whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Jesus H Christ's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:08
Jesus H Christ
Despite your sinful ways I will welcome you into my holy kingdom.

IF YOU GIVE ME SOME MONEY AND A DUCK.
Gh0ulunatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:08
Gh0ulunatic
What is a publix duck? I'm not familiar.
taumpytears's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:08
taumpytears
I think now would be a good ti me to mention ducks are my favorite animal.
Super Drybones's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:09
Super Drybones
Did you all take my hookers and blow and monocles suggestion?
CthulhuFtaghn's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:09
CthulhuFtaghn
Hell, I like free stuff.
BigPopaGamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:09
BigPopaGamer
HA HA HA HA HA. This video seriously brought tears to my eyes. Man I love this website so much. Colette your face was priceless when you got those little balls out of the quarter machine.

Free Tacos for all!!
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:09
Brian Szabelski
I have the best bosses in the history of mankind.
sylphx's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:10
sylphx
Did he just do a line of lemonade?
BrandonUndead's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:10
BrandonUndead
You guys bought a LOT of shit with 200 dollars! Did you see all those bubble toys and all them bacons?
PreacherMan89's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:10
PreacherMan89
Lmao. SO MANY DOLLARS! (I wish I could get a free taco...)
AKK's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:10
AKK
I wish I could have gotten a free taco....

I'd love your used duck/money, though! :D
Bishna's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:11
Bishna
that was sweet.
Naim Master's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:11
Naim Master
I want muny.
Balaamsafe's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:11
Balaamsafe
I endorse this.
ArcticFox's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:11
ArcticFox
I think the only way I would take free tacos is if they were handed out by a Robot in a fine white suit.

Free money however, would be taken any way I can get it.

Also of note: this video made me laugh out loud in the library (at the free taco part), and everyone around me looked at me funny :/
vApathyv's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:12
vApathyv
I still say you shoulda spent it all on booze and made Dale North drink himself to death on webcam for our pleasure.
Sassafrass's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:12
Sassafrass
Wow... that was surprisingly fantastic.
Bubamacko's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:12
Bubamacko
Hahahaha love it
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:13
Samit Sarkar
Free tacos...FROM HELL
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:13
mix
Lol, Awesome possum!
HerosPlayDumb's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:13
HerosPlayDumb
Holy hell that was awesome.
Sean Carey's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:14
Sean Carey
Ducking awesome.
Cor E's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:14
Cor E
You are all going to hell. lol.
Xhumation's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:15
Xhumation
That was great. I want a taco from hell.
ChronosWing's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:15
ChronosWing
FREE TACOS YOU CUNTS! So how many people who stopped for free tacos were Dtoid fans?
GoldenGamerXero's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:15
GoldenGamerXero
WTF! Fuck Kotaku because that was incredible!
eternalplayer2345's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:15
eternalplayer2345
Greatest thing ever
timtheterrible's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:17
timtheterrible
Video took too long to load, but I'm sure it was nice.
Cataract's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:17
Cataract
Giving away money? I could use some. Sob story incoming, but this is all true, I swear on my life.


I was just dropped from all of my college classes yesterday, when I was told that I never paid the school for anything. I tried to clear it up, and I'm being forced to resubmit financial aid, which can take well close to a month to be able to be processed. In the meantime, I haven't had a job since May, and I've been riding my bike 4 miles down busy main roads (mostly without a sidewalk to be safe on), since I don't have any money to put gas in my car. I don't know whats going to happen to me as far as when I'll be able to attend class again, or whats going to happen this semester, as well as the next one. I can't get my old job on campus back, because of the financial aid office royally fucking up my financial aid (work-study job, run via FA office). Until everything gets sorted out, I am not allowed to attend class, have no way of getting money to get to class safely, and am more or less miserable.

So god damnit, I want that money. Not because of "OMG FREE MONEY DO WANT LOL", but because I fucking need it. I need it to get to class safely, I need it to put gas in my truck, I need it to be able to purchase books, if I ever get to go back to school this semester. Don't believe me? Feel free to send me an email.
calpis's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:18
calpis
Colette Bennett, I want to waifu you.
killatia's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:19
killatia
FREE TACOS!!!!!!!

That was a great way to blow $200.
Cyber Altair's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:20
Cyber Altair
Do want.
The Bez's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:20
The Bez
As much as I love Dtoid, I might love free money even more :D
MowDownJoe's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:20
MowDownJoe
That was hilarious.
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:21
Elsa
That was AWESOME!!! (hey did somebody say "academy award winner"??)
(and I especially liked the roses for some reason... especially that big guy in the coffee shop!)
(and Colette and the melons was hilarious!)
SpiritualSodomy's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:22
SpiritualSodomy
I was sitting on a bench late one night waiting for some friends to finish up in the pub. Some random drunk punter stumbled past turned back and handed me a few quid thinking i was a bum. I gladly accepted.
Infinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:22
Infinite
I too am a fan of said free money. It lets me purchase things. Things that I like. Like more money.
JJstoner's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:23
JJstoner
Team America FTW! Good stuff
hanzo's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:24
hanzo
$200?

Tacos? CHECK
Blow? CHECK
Women of the night? Sadly missing
dead phoenix's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:24
dead phoenix
brilliant
Gobun's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2009 14:26
Gobun
I LIK MUNAY
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