Grand Theft Auto V is selling like methamphetamine-infused Furbies. The bad man simulator pilfered $800 million from the unwitting masses in its first day on the market, upsetting unbiased cable news broadcasters everywhere, before going on to plunder the world to the tune of $1 billion in just three days.
Not even Japan was spared from Rockstar's malevolent malfeasance. The corruption befell 360,115 PlayStation 3 owners in the the vile title's opening week, trailing only Pokemon X and Y, which sold 1,866,570 animal cruelty-laden units in the region over the same timespan.
Won't somebody please think of the children?