A game called Privates has you controling a gang of condom-topped marines that dive into vaginas and asses to blast out the "oozy, shouty monsters." Zombie Cow Studio is really making this Xbox 360 twin-stick shooter. Don't believe me? This comes directly from the press release:
Britain. Land of Hope and Glory-holes. Where pregnant, waddling teenagers take up the full width of the pavement with their oversized triplet pushchairs, unaware that their rampant, perpetual humping has filled them to the brim with all manner of grotty infections.
There's five levels of...exploration and funk fighting in this game that will release on PC this summer for free, and then follow on the Xbox 360 for "a bit of money."
Dan Marshall, founder of Zombie Cow Studios: “We’re exploring some pretty unique gaming environments and themes… I can honestly say I can’t imagine you’ve ever played anything quite like it. These first five screenshots should give you a pretty good idea of what we’re up to, but there’s a hell of a lot more to come soon.”
This is a thing that is really happening! Gotta love the above screenshot.
Sorry about the vagina comment in the headline.
LAUNCH GALLERY (5 IMAGES)
Dale North is Destructoid's Editor-In-Chief, a founding editor, and specialist in Japanese gaming. An accomplished musician, Dale was reporting from Japan during the earthquakes of 2011. Luckily, he got the fuck out alive and is home in America now with his wife and beloved corgi, Einstein. Dale is also a co-founder of Destructoid's sister anime site
Japanator. Likes Corgis, Sega Saturn, PSP, iPhone, Photographic tools.
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Way to go MS for approving this complete trash.
Also, it seems like I still can't get into a vagina without paying "a bit of money" first.
Xbox 360 -- JUMP IN"
Give this guy a medal.
You can even have different outcomes depending on WHERE you are. Oh, the possibilities!
Well, if there is some form of multiplayer, enjoy your threesome.
1-player (Single and Ready to Mingle!)
2-players (Missionaries!)
3-players (Manag e tua!)
4-players (Orgy Time!)
Not your first time into a virtual vagina? -lucky dude.
I shouldn't have.
There's an Xzibit joke in there somewhere.