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Ghostbusters 3: Snot Ropes, Pepto Rivers, and Singed Marshmallow photo

The buzz on the two new Ghostbusters games has been decidedly low on Dtoid.  Earlier today, in serious gastrointestinal distress, I was finally blessed with the leisure to slog through the December Game Informer, which had been sitting in my bathroom for weeks.

I will preface the following remarks by saying that I am always happier at proclamations of NEW properties, than I am of franchise deals, sequels, or remakes.  I have a brain chemical imbalance, you see, that precludes my enjoyment of repetition.  This causes cankers, and also isolates me totally from my peer group: repetition is a gamer specialty, gamers being a people which can carry on a conversation entirely in Simpsons quotes.  This is why They keep sharp objects out of my office at Dtoid HQ, and do not allow me to read the comments on my posts.  I keep hearing about this "Aldo Cox" person, but I have no idea who he is. Nobody will tell me.

Here is what we know so far about Ghostbusters:

A. There are two, semi- separate ghostbusting projects at this time, one for a Wii/PS2 release, the other, grander effort being saved for the 360, PS3 and PC.

B. The big project is being developed by Terminal Reality, and has realistic graphics running on a proprietary engine.  The focus is on the single-player campaign mode, and details about the multiplayer are still TBA.  It doesn’t look good for we co-op PS360 enthusiasts, though.

C. The secondary release on Wii and PS2, developed by Red Fly,  is a slightly dumbed-down version that will focus on multiplayer, and has cartoony graphics instead of the main project's realism. 

Hit the jump for the rest of the article, which contains BioShock spoilers.  I tell you this with the intention of shaming anyone who still, after all these many months, may be sensitive to such manila envelope-grade intelligence.  Snicker.

There seem to be a few indignant Wiinies clamoring for equal rights, but the character design on their version has a Team Fortress 2 appeal.  The maps will be the same, but "repurposed for various multiplayer things", and it's been announced that the main campaign can be tackled in co-op.  This is good, and I am waiting impatiently for news of the 360/PS3/PC's multiplayer capabilities  it is vitally important, my flying monkeys, that you and I be allowed to bust ghosts TOGETHER.

....I seem to have wandered off course.  This is sounding more and more like a real post by a real game blogger, however outdated the content may be.  Let us hie to the speculation, yes?  It is my specialty.

It has been stated in multiple venues that these games are the actual heirs to the Ghostbusters throne.  Akroyd makes assurances in Game Informer's sidebar that this is the closest we will ever come to a Ghostbusters 3; that diehard fans waiting for a sequel should regard this as the fulfillment of all their gooey dreams.  

This raises interesting questions about franchise continuums across multiple media platforms, and the nature of interactive vs. passive media.  I've been saying for months that BioShock is one of the best science fiction/horror movies to come out in years, no matter that it is “interactive” and thus, a “game”.  You give me one scene from a sci fi movie in the past five years that comes close to the heady glee of your stroll through Tenenbaum’s little sister refugee camp.  Soaking in the adoring murmurs of those sweet tykes fulfills one of the cardinal rules of good storytelling: reward the reader.  Or in this case, the player.  That particular scene may have been media-specific.  It is difficult for me to imagine a movie in which the same sense of grueling exhaustion could be laid atop an audience.  In games, they have the ability to wring the audience/player for hours, days, even weeks.  They can make us perform acts of aerobic and intellectual derring-do, affect us with profound acting and writing, trip us up with vicious plot twists, and murder us over and over.  With this much punishment under our belts, we players are twice as invested in our sweet rewards as some popcorn-gumming cinema rat.  We have to WORK for those rewards, god damn it.  

Akroyd and Ramis may be reaching for a more symbiotic relationship between games and movies here, with major Hollywood talent investing their sequel energies into a non-movie experience.  And we’ve seen this before, most recently and notably in the Riddick franchise.

But I’ve been reading too much Faulkner.  Allow me to wrap up.

I’ve saved the good stuff for last: Terminal Reality is introducing a fascinating rubberband mechanic that allows players to fire a sticky rope of mucus that fastens at two points.  Imagine leashing spastic wraiths to walls and then beating the tar out of them, while they wail and pull at their bonds!  Or draping a hallway in a jungle gym of boogery tethers, like an ectoplasmic gill net!  New York’s spook-infested ether will be well-plummed that day, let me assure you!  Me, I have a still more sadistic plan.  I intend to rope two ghosties together, and drape them over a telephone wire like a pair of old sneakers.  Then, I shall step back and belch out deep, hearty chuckles as they tear each other apart, like pain-crazed alleycats slung over a clothesline.

As usual, I encourage reader feedback: what will you do with ropes of sputum, a gun with which to fire it, and all the ghosts you can slime?

-----------------------------------------------------------------–
Eliza Gauger is a ham-handed muckraker with nothing to show for an ill-spent youth but joint ownership of Ectoplasmosis, an asteriskpunk art and culture blog (Nabokov, Cthulhu and lip pelts); a long list of illustration, design, and/or author credits in everything from Other Magazine, to the Unhallowed Metropolis RPG; and an online store in which to shamelessly shill paintings for pittance.

Continue: More sequel stories





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26 comments | showing # 1 to 26

A New Challenger's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 02:49
A New Challenger
The right side of the text is cut off for me :/
TheHunter234's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 02:50
TheHunter234
Same here.
Ambulance-Y's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 02:52
Ambulance-Y
i choose to save enthusiam, or lack there of, till it comes out.i've been let down before by enough games i was excited for, and suprised by games i picked up on a whim not knowing much about it. i'll just rent or download a demo then let disappointment or excitement ensue.

but please, terminal reality.... DONT FUCK UP THE FOND MEMORIES OF MY CHILDHOOD
Eliza Gauger's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 02:54
Eliza Gauger
Sorry kids, having formatting ish...

Stand by for corrections.
Eliza Gauger's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 03:56
Eliza Gauger
Should be okay now. YOU MAY FIRE WHEN READY, GRIDLEY.
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 04:00
ArrestedDeveloper
Oh please let me friends with Slimer like in the cartoon.
Eliza Gauger's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 04:09
Eliza Gauger
Still having slight image issues...HA HA I'M ARTIFICIALLY INFLATING MY COMMENT COUNT!
Necros's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 04:10
Necros
Works now. I hope the game does too.
brad drac's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 06:00
brad drac
TENENBAUM IS RYAN.

I'm also in the reserving judgment brigade. It really could go either way. I just hope they get most of the original cast and good writers on board with this, otherwise it's in danger of becoming another 3rd person generic brownfest

Also, dtoid needs more from the florian gauger bicrianial spidergoat.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 06:48
Jonathan Holmes
Where you been Eliza?
Fading Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 07:02
Fading Star
"Then, I shall step back and belch out deep, hearty chuckles as they tear each other apart, like pain-crazed alleycats slung over a clothesline."

You are one....nice lady.


Pepto River!
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 07:08
Mxyzptlk
I plan on using my ghost snot gun to save New York city from some ancient supernatural evil. Then I'm going to bang Dana Barret while Ray Parker Jr. plays over the credits.
Crapsh00t's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 07:12
Crapsh00t
Gozer the Traveller - he will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii, the Traveller came as a large and moving Torb! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants, they chose a new form for him - that of a giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day, I can tell you!

YESSSSSSS
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 07:30
Snaileb
So will Rick Moranis be a playable character?
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 07:55
Teta
I was more interested with the Zootfile (i can`t remember how itīs spelled) version.
The one that looked like Gears of War and had that voice that warned you not to cross the beams.

Well at least itīs a Ghostsbusters game.
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 08:36
BahamutZero
You didnt mention anything about the cool proprietary destructable engine that allows monsters composed of hundreds of individual objects in your preview ripped from a two month old issue of Game Informer

--------------------------------------------------------------
BahamutZero is an asshole commenter on the website [url]www.Destructoid.com[/url] and enjoys abusing and harassing people for no reason other than he thinks he's better than them. He may also be Surfer Girl.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 09:25
Sharpless
Where the fuck have you been, young lady? Didn't even realize you two(?) were still around Dtoid.
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 09:58
Jim Sterling
Eliza in mah game blog?

This post reminds me I need to rewatch the Ghostbusters films.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 10:09
Mxyzptlk
@ Sterling: I actually did just the other day for the first time in nearly a decade... the first one is still classic. The second one is entertaining, but slightly embarrassing thanks to the infusion of late eighties hairstyles/fashions and making the ghosts look a little too cartoony.
spacecadetjoe's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 10:19
spacecadetjoe
unrelated but why is ectomo broken?
martinine's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 10:27
martinine
@mxyzptlk: I agree, but nothing beats controlling the Statue of Liberty with the NES Advantage. Anyone remember the Slimer Milkshakes from Hardees when GB2 came out? I decided I'm going to be excited for this game like everyone was excited for Enter The Matrix.

It can't be worse than that can it?
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 10:38
MechaMonkey
Shitty Movie Night needs to be renamed Awesome Movie Night temporarily, and on that night we need to watch Ghostbusters 1 & 2.

Ernie Hudson's mah boy.
Colette Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 10:45
Colette Bennett
Hi Eliza! Good to see you here :)
F Whipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 12:59
F Whipple
@martinine

Don't forget ecto-cooler
Eliza Gauger's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/29/2008 14:45
Eliza Gauger
The only reason I go so long without posting is that I'm addicted to people being delighted and surprised by my return.

@Mxyzptlk: the lovely Sigourney will not be participating. Sad, no?
0kelvin's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2008 00:42
0kelvin
Strangely, I spent a large portion of my day trying to remember the word sputum. It was on the tip of my tongue (ewwwww) for hours, but I had given up hope I would actually be able to remember it. And then I just happen to run into it while reading about Ghostbusters. Thank you Eliza, you're my vocabulary hero.
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