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GET ON STEAM! HELP UNLOCK PORTAL 2 EARLY photo

[Update: The countdown has hit zero and the results are ... unique! Portal 2 might unlock early but Aperture Science needs more data to do it! A new site has opened that says you can "help unlock Portal 2 early" by playing the indie games featured in the ARG. The more CPUs playing the games, the more power there is. WTF!? Crazy stuff! Now stop reading this and DO IT!]

Valve loves to mess with everybody's head, and the latest psychological trick is this mysterious Aperture Science timer, which is currently a few short hours away from reaching zero. Quite what it will lead to, nobody knows, but there's a very strong guess. 

That guess is that those who pre-ordered Portal 2 on Steam will get the game today. The Steam servers were choked last night with users desperately getting the game pre-loaded so that it would automatically appear on their computers the next day -- and I have to admit that I was among them. 

We'll update this post when the actual truth it known, but remember, this is Valve. You can expect practically anything.

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100 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

Hasney's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 07:10
Hasney
YEAHHHH.

God I wish I had the cash for this. Gonna have to wait until the 26th though :(
Endyf's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 07:13
Endyf
I had my Portal 2 Pre-Load paused, but when you said "That guess is that those who pre-ordered Portal 2 on Steam will get the game today." I resumed.
SirNinjaFace's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 07:14
SirNinjaFace
who knows what those crazy wonderful people at valve will do next, i'm waiting in anticipation for the update of this post. Thanks Jim.
jebussaves88's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 07:25
jebussaves88
If this is true, I'm gutted that I preordered off Amazon.
SxSW's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 07:40
SxSW
i guess I'm waiting till 3am
sprldr's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 07:40
sprldr
Who are 'Irish and cynic'?
Angantyr's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 07:41
Angantyr
When it hits zero they'll announce a delay ..
Could be a very well executed prank
TurboPhoenix's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 07:43
TurboPhoenix
It's probably something related to the Half Life clue hidden in the Portal 2 ARG.

At least I hope it is. I need my Half Life fix.
ttocs's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 07:44
ttocs
Hah, I was right there with ya Jim. I made sure to order and preload the game last night...just in case that is.
MasterBalls's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 07:46
MasterBalls
Another humorously worded but still bloody infuriating delay?
laika one's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 07:46
laika one
I don't think it'll release when the timer hit's 0

It says there that the final test will be revealed tomorrow.. One more part of the Arg. It'll probably release early on steam once that is solved though... I'm looking forward to seeing what the final part is.
Strandli's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 07:48
Strandli
Valve delayed Portal 2 for months so they could have an ARG announcing we can play the delayed game 5 days earlier? FUCK YEAH.

But seriously, my body is ready.
Michael Boston's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 08:05
Michael Boston
my guess is an early demo for stream buyers, as the pre-loaded thing added more stuff to its self before the timer was released
samuraiedward's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 08:17
samuraiedward
So I read the back of the box yesturday when my store got some in. And there was a human woman on the back aswell. Three pictures of the gameplay and one of them with the robots.

Which made me confused. Cause I thought this game was only with the robots. WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!?!
Thulsa Dooom's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 08:23
Thulsa Dooom
Best company in the industry.
D-roy's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 08:24
D-roy
Whatever ya'll do: Don't go looking up portal 2 videos! There's plenty of walkthroughs going on atm. And the endings were up for a while before VALVe took them down. Players thoughts these a part of the ARG, but incidents and evidence points towards the videos actually being the real endings.

I had the game spoiled to me. F*CK YOU CONSOLES!
SKSith's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 08:31
SKSith
What!? Valve time in reverse???
AzNheadbanger's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 08:41
AzNheadbanger
@SKSith

The game was supposed to come out last fall. Valve time is still in effect.
Nova77's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 08:43
Nova77
It would be stupid if it was the release of Portal 2.
Zac Bentz's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 08:46
Zac Bentz
I've been wondering about the lack of "e" and "f" in the url...
sadboring's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 08:47
sadboring
Didn't Valve warn us what would happen if Real Time ever coincided with Valve Time?
xxtyxx's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 08:55
xxtyxx
@ Nova77
It's only stupid cause you didn't preorder it on pc.
Explosion2's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 09:10
Explosion2
@samuraiedward in co-op you play as the robots. In single player you play as the human named Chell, from the first game.

If you haven't played the first game and you don't mind puzzle games, it's really a great game.
The Sama's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 09:19
The Sama
Ah man, I'm gonna be at school :(
ZeeJayTL's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 09:35
ZeeJayTL
no one else thought its a timer counting down to a 3.5 day timer?
schnydz's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 09:47
schnydz
@Zac Bentz, very astute observation my friend...

'e' 'f' What does it mean!!?!!
LOLPARTY's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 09:50
LOLPARTY
nice face jim you stupid idiotface
John B's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 09:58
John B
I ordered the PS3 version from Amazon because it comes with a free Steam version (and $20 off a future game purchase). I'll be pissed if this is a Steam pre-load, considering that I'll be entitled to the Steam version.
Phonics Monkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 10:03
Phonics Monkey
Just under an hour now.. Here's to high hopes for a pre-release!
Xonticus's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 10:09
Xonticus
My guess is something Half Life 3 related

I can dream, can't I?
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 10:13
mix
44 MINS!!!!
tylerstravis's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 10:19
tylerstravis
9am hmmmm
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 10:19
mix
I feel LOLPARTY really adds worth to this blog...
Chongomaster's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 10:59
Chongomaster
09:00 – Hello again.
09:00 – I’ve been waiting a long time for this.
09:00 – I know it’s arriving later than expected.
09:00 – But I have a message for you:
09:00 – April Fools.
09:01 – I’m joking.
09:01 – Seriously, though:
09:01 – You’ve been surprisingly competent at
09:01 – generating electro-chemical energy to jumpstart the system.
09:01 – But now we need raw computational power
09:02 – to speed up the reboot process.
Tarvu's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:00
Tarvu
09:00 – Hello again.
09:00 – I’ve been waiting a long time for this.
09:00 – I know it’s arriving later than expected.
09:00 – But I have a message for you:
09:00 – April Fools.
09:01 – I’m joking.
09:01 – Seriously, though:
09:01 – You’ve been surprisingly competent at
09:01 – generating electro-chemical energy to jumpstart the system.
09:01 – But now we need raw computational power
09:02 – to speed up the reboot process.
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:00
mix
Pfffffff release POrtal 2 early by playing games in the potato sack.
Chongomaster's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:01
Chongomaster
That was a bit of a let down...
DekenFrost's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:01
DekenFrost
It's revealed !

The Way I understand it is that players have to play different steam games to speed up the process, the more players play .. the faster Portal 2 gets released !!
Tarvu's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:02
Tarvu
FUCK YOU CHONGOMASTER.
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:03
mix
@Tarvu
I beat you with what it was actually about soooo....umad?

lol
polarityomg's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:05
polarityomg
I'm Audiosurfing like a motherfucker. Aaawwwwww Yeeeeeeaaaaaaa!
bakavicka's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:06
bakavicka
Meeeeh.... no money I can't afford the indie pack AND portal 2..... so I'll just wait! Kind of a let down... BUT GO EVERYONE ELSE! PLAY THE GAMES!
BananaCombOver's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:08
BananaCombOver
Valve I fucking love you. <3 You guys seriously know how to treat your fans right...you messing with our minds and making us do things that involve our brains.
jawshoeuh's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:11
jawshoeuh
Man, I got so many games to play right now, but this is preordered and paid in full and can't wait!
Gorescream's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:13
Gorescream
hype.jpg
Uber Mashu's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:13
Uber Mashu
We were all expecting Valve to pull a stunt, but I'm a little disapointed. I was hoping for something at least a little more creative than this? Something that packed a real punch. Valve are better than that. Even something as simple as a banner that said "Portal 2 - Out April 22nd." That would have got a laugh out of most. Instead we got an advertisement.

Disclaimer: the above opinion comes from a reader who's computer couldn't run Portal 2 even if he wanted it to. just a casual observer. He's patiently waiting for his retail copy, like some mug.
SxSW's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:16
SxSW
Come on guys SUIT UP!!

DESTRUCTOID ARE GO!!!!
Zac Bentz's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:16
Zac Bentz
ArrestedDeveloper wins.
SxSW's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 11:17
SxSW
IT JUST UNLOCKED!!!!
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