"Finally, porn for the XXX-treme gamer in you!" Not my words, but the words of GearsOfWhores.com, a new Web site dedicated to gamer porn. Of course, by gamer porn I mean, "low budget porn stars doing their normal sex but wearing headsets while they take one up the arse."
For a nice example of the kind of gamer this site is appealing to, look no further than the first featured video, starring Roxxxy Lee. That's too many XXX's in one name, but regardless, here's what Ms. Lee has to say about her recent gaming session:
OK,BUNNYBR3ADSLAYER{SOX} IS TALKING TRASH AGAIN WITH HIS "WALL BOUNCING ASS",AND TELLS ME I'M NO MATCH FOR HIS SHOT GUN,AGAINST MY LANCER ON GRID IN A 1V1-ALPHA V BRAVO, SO OF COURSE I PROVED HIM WRONG,WHEN SUDDENLY MY GIRL ROXXXY LEE CUMS IN ,AND START TO DISTRACT ME WITH ALL HER PHAT A** GEARS,I'M TRYING TO GET MY PRACTICE IN WHEN SHE PULLS OUT MY LONG SHOT, AND BEGINS TO SUCK THE SH*T OUT OF IT, SO BUNNYBR3ADSLAYER TRYS TO GET IN THE ACTION TELLING ROXXXY LEE WHAT HE WOULD DO TO HER,WHILE I FUCKING HER,AND PLAYING AGAINST BUNNY{SOX}THEN WE HEAR HIM BUSTING A NUTT FROM ALL THE SEX,AND BIG ASS SLAPPING ,HE SOUNDED LIKE A B*TCH IN HEAT,...LOL,ANYWAYS I BUSTED A NUT IN HER MOUTH WITH MY LONGSHOT,WHILE BUNY{SOX} WENT TO SLEEP,...WHAT A WH*RE....
That's basically all you need to know. A comical man in a Gears of War T-shirt has lots of sex with females of dubious attraction and even more questionable skill with a controller. If that's not what our ancestors fought and died for, then I don't know what to believe in anymore.
Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize.
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PS2, iPod Touch, Silent Hill 2, Metal Gear Solid, Dynasty Warriors 3
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Contest:
4:40 PM on 02.18.2010
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And damn how low can the porno industry get, oh wait...
*looks grimly at gaming collection*
*bang*
what kind of face is that? D:
Uhhh... Happy To Be Working Negro?
(Marcus voice) NICE!
But zomg, it really is Happy Negro! I was just being racist for a moment there.
That just made my day. Thank you SO much!
I sense a war for the ages.
How do you happen upon sites like this?
Also, this is too mainstream for me. I'll wait for the indiegamePorn spinoff, VVVXXXVVV.
'Cause I'm an arthousefag. /limpwristedly, of course!
I lul'd. I didn't want to...but I did.
@beroh
Why would you ask that?
On that note.......Biocock 2: Semen of dreams.
Awmigod I love you! I take back every negative thing I ever said about the Irish or Ireland ever!
Am I doing it right!?!
Am I doing it right?!?
Fun fact: The Brits freed their slaves before the US did and without a war.
EA Presents; The Shims! / Cock Band!
Amidoinitrite?!
Also,
Cock Revolution.
Also, Guitar Whore-o. (Why are music games so easy? :p)
Modern Whorefare 2.
Pretty much anything else with war in the title as well.
2 hookers and a black dude xD
Yeah I signed in just for that. Sup.
No, that one ain't good. :/