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Imagine two hours worth of very specific, very useful screenwriting advice applied to the task of writing videogame dialogue and crammed into a one hour presentation, and you'll begin to understand just how alternately informative and overwhelming David Freeman's presentation, "Advanced Dialogue Techniques for Games" was.

As a screenwriting tutor who has consulted with or been praised by damn near every game company on the planet at some point or another, Freeman knows his stuff. Over the course of his lecture, he put the audience through a very quick crash course in how to improve videogame dialogue (perhaps knowing that if we wanted to read more, we could always check out his book).

Hit the jump for a rundown of Freeman's specific suggestions, delivered even more quickly and briefly than he did. 

As Freeman quite literally sped through his points with only a few lines of quick background and a snippet from a popular screenplay to illustrate his point (which I obviously can't recreate here with any degree of brevity), I'm just going to list each of his main points and do my own job of explaining them.

"A-B" dialogue is the enemy.

"How are you?" "Good." "Wanna have sex?" "No." Dialogue which is predictable, ho-hum, and consists only of simple setups and straightforward payoffs, are much more frequent in game dialogue than it oughtta be. It sucks.

Interrupting dialogue

When characters interrupt each other, the normal (boring) flow of tne conversation is suddenly thrown out of whack and the viewer becomes more interested.

Answer a question with a question

"Why are you such an asshole? "Why are you still talking to me?" Answering questions with questions changes dialogue direction and forces the character who asked the first question to respond in a personally evocative way, without falling into A-B routine.

Avoid cliches with bit players

Just because they have one line doesn't mean they shouldn't be interesting in their own ways.

"Own track"

When two characters are having a conversation and one is ignoring the other while talking about their own thing, they are on their "own track." This is initially confusing to hear, but says a lot about both characters and through its unusual nature makes the dialogue more fun to hear.

Tangent

People talk in tangents, so your characters should talk in tangents too to avoid sounding like expository robots.

Drop first word

Don't have a character say, "are you going to the mall?" Make them say, "going to the mall?" Again, this is how people talk.

Sentence fragment

People don't. You know. Talk in complete sentences.

Delayed answer

Have one character ask a question which isn't answered until much later in the conversation.

Leave the topic and later come back to it

Pretty much the same thing as delayed answer, but with a larger discussion topic. To illustrate this technique, Freeman pointed out a scene from Rocky where two characters begin talking about a slut Rocky used to know, then they talk about a cigarette, then they go back to talking about the girl. "This is your basic slut-cig-slut conversation," Freeman said.

Starts again

If I'm trying to -- if I want to say something to you, I'll probably screw up part of the sentence and I'll try...I'll essentially start the sentence over but rephrased.

Response implies answer

"Hey Anthony, are you awesome?" "Well, you're reading what I'm typing, aren't you?" I didn't technically answer your question, but from my response you can infer how I might have answered if I'd chosen to do so directly.

External interruptions and subtext

If I want to say something to you but I accidentally say the word "bonesaw"

Then that video has externally interrupted our conversation, as tends to happen in real life. Also -- and I'm not sure why he integrated this with external interruptions, because it doesn't seem closely related -- but make sure your characters aren't specifically saying what they're thinking. Subtext is important.

Generally, Freeman wanted to hammer home a few very important points when it came to developing game characters and dialogue. You must constantly surprise the audience (even if only in small ways, like using tangents or delaying answers), your characters must show different sides of their personalities to different people in different situations, your characters must have many personal characteristics and many sides, and they have to sound different from one another.

To illustrate all these techniques and ideas, Freeman showed the audience a clip from a television show which, in terms of dialogue, he actually stated was better than anything he'd ever seen in a videogame, even including BioShock.

The clip he showed us was from Grey's Anatomy.

I'd like to be as objective as possible in judging the efficiency of the dialogue scene he showed us (when Meredith lies about trying to drown herself to her boyfriend and turns to Katherine Heigl for assistance, their dialogue does indeed follow all of Freeman's suggestions), I couldn't help but feel that the dialogue was just plain bad. It flowed well, yeah, but in attempting to sound realistic it felt overly practiced, artificial, and ultimately boring.

I don't mean to suggest that all videogame writing is incredible when compared to Grey's Anatomy, but come on -- better than BioShock

From there, Freeman gave us a handout which showed a really poorly written dialogue scene, then his better rewrite which incorporated all his techniques, and then a line-by-line deconstruction of what he did to improve each aspect of the script. 

Overall, the lecture felt like a 60 minute screenwriting class, and it was really informative; I may not agree with his taste in quality dialogue, but I still think the fundamental rules he suggested were very sound.








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28 comments | showing # 1 to 28
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BlackDove's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 16:01
BlackDove
Heh, Grey's Anatomy.

Everything he said were great tips in my opinion...

...but Grey's Anatomy? Man, that show fucking BLOWS.
Rockvillian's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 16:03
Rockvillian
Also, they need to quit with the staring characters. When people talk, they break eye contact, unless they're talking to a person of authority or in the military.

0_0 - "Where is the enemy base."

O_O - "I remember back in my homeworld, they made the best flapjacks. The enemy base is in quadrant 17. What else would you like to know."

O_O - "Goodbye."

O_O - "Okay. Stare with you - I mean, talk with you later Player1."
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 16:09
Samit Sarkar
Lol @ "This is your basis slut-cig-slut conversation."

Rev, you are a posting machine, and thankfully, you don’t sacrifice quality for quantity. This was an interesting read, and though I doubt I’ll ever write a screenplay, Freeman’s points are things that I’ll look for in future games.

Also, Grey’s Anatomy? Come on. Couldn’t he have picked another medical show? You know, something that’s A BILLION times more bad-ass...like House?
Jim's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 16:10
Jim
image credits? larger version?

/me like!
Gangles's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 16:17
Gangles
Does this David Freeman have a doctorate? If so, I agree with Dr. Freeman.
Lord The Night Knight's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 16:35
Lord The Night Knight
I should add that formal speak is acceptable in games that take place in the past, or in an equivalent fantasy setting, but it should still flow enough for the voice actors to speak it naturally.
bigfatton's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 16:45
bigfatton
Can Rev get a raise?, he's on his fuckin game today!
Kira Plaga's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 16:50
Kira Plaga
How does Mr.Freeman know so much about dialog when he never talks?

Half-life reference FTW!
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 16:58
MaxVest
I agree with a lot of his points -- if what you want is naturalistic dialogue. But that's not always a good thing. Watch the Princess Bride and see whether you think these suggestions would have helped or hurt that film.

But his basic points about indirection and incongruence are well-taken. Dialogue can be an excellent way to avoid excessive exposition, which usually kills my enjoyment of a game / book / film.
angusm's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 17:07
angusm
Shit, another awesome post.
I'm in agreement with bigfatton.
Pangloss's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 17:35
Pangloss
As I'm working on a book, this was a really interesting article. So interesting, in fact, that I went back and rewrote one of the earlier conversations that kept pissing me off. While I disagree with Freeman on the quality of Grey's Anatomy, I'd be lying if I said that his tips didn't make the scene in question a shit-ton less wooden.
NsOmNiA91130's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 18:01
NsOmNiA91130
BONESAW
VTSvsAlucard's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 18:31
VTSvsAlucard
Wow, another great article. You're on a roll. I third Bigfatton and angusm. Thanks again for a read that made me feel like I caught every bit of the of the presentation.
Fronz's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 18:42
Fronz
Hahaha, I know that book just by its cover. We used it a lot in our game design classes.
RJG's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 18:47
RJG
Goddamnit, Grey's Anatomy? That is a shitty show. House has some awesome dialogue. Hell, House is all about dialogue. House is about House being a dick, and doing it with great dialogue.

With that said, I would love to write for video games. It's my dream job really. But I'm stuck doing a Communications degree that will get me nowhere! Hooray!

Games need better writing. The most cliched story in the world can be made awesome with good writing and dialogue. most games have cliched stories. They also have shit dialogue. Which is why I don't bother finishing most games these days. There's no pay off. I don't get better at the game, since it's so easy there's no challenge, and the story pay off isn't worth it either.
Hiltz's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 18:50
Hiltz
It would be nice to see more people acknowledge how great the dialogue is in most Grasshopper Manufacture games such as Killer 7 and No More Heroes.
Crapsh00t's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 19:06
Crapsh00t
That's some interesting stuff that should be taken to heart by developers. Many of the "interruptions" in dialogue I've seen in games doesn't work because there's a slight lag between the two voices.
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 19:14
Eschatos
A lot of games could definitely use this.
Tangled's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 19:42
Tangled
"I don't mean to suggest that all videogame writing is incredible when compared to Grey's Anatomy, but come on -- better than BioShock?"

Bioshock would have been a pretty bad example for his class, as there's little to no dialogue. Lots of excellently written monologues in that game, though. =P
BlackSunEmpire's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 20:23
BlackSunEmpire
I know this flows well for English conversations, but it's going to make localisation a longer process. We may see PAL games even later than we already do if they have to translate these qualities. Or am I talking out my ass??

Anyway, advanced dialogue sounds good for us English speakers
Projectexodus's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 22:21
Projectexodus
Brilliant! Also, when it comes to Greys anatomy -- he's talking about the way the dialogue is built, not the acting.
Common Misdemeanor's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/20/2008 23:32
Common Misdemeanor
All good tips. I found myself thinking that it all seemed very obvious, yet I had not actually implented any of it in my own work.

And props to him on having the balls to show a Grey's Anatomy clip. True, it's a pretty god-awful show, but I think it was more to get the point across that the level of dialogue games are currently on is still pretty low, and has much room for improvement.
Velt's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/21/2008 00:48
Velt
Greys Anatomy... my gf digs that show so Im going to show her this.
Or maybe not.

Anyway, who cares?
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/21/2008 02:39
Bob Muir
This is actually the most interesting thing I've seen come out of GDC so far.
mistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/21/2008 07:33
mistic
I wonder if they'll ever be able to incorporate a 'believable' conversationsystem, without resorting to building HAL...
brad drac's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/21/2008 10:45
brad drac
Awesome GDC articles, rev. Really good reads all around. Hopefully I'll get to employ some of these techniques some day.
flaming burrito's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/21/2008 11:12
flaming burrito
heh bonesaw...

but yea, these seem like excellent tips that should be adhered to.
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