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Games of the Past: Softporn Adventure photo

A frequent discussion among modern gamers is that while games do contain profanity, violence and sexual situations, true "adult" titles are not available for most systems. The days of Leisure Suit Larry and Leather Goddesses of Phobos are sadly far in the text-based past. In 1981 however, the boundaries of gaming and sex were no more than a blurry hallucination, so today I bring you a game that would never see the light of day in good old 2007: Softporn Adventure for the Apple II.

The game requires the player to take on the role of a party animal that's seen better days, on a rogue quest to obtain items that will allow him to attract the attention of "beautiful women". I'm not sure how beautiful the women of 1981 are by modern standards, but hey, at least they're naked. Sierra Online put out this gem, which actually features owner and future game designer Roberta Williams on the cover.

Wish you could play these old relics? Good news: It has been converted to Z-Code and can be played on a Z-Machine emulator. As old as it is, I don't think Sierra will mind. You might laugh at the concept of a text sex adventure now over your fancy PS3s and next gen graphics, but remember that Softporn Adventure provided many a headband and sweats-clad dude material to gratefully fap to.

[Thanks to Orcist for this awesome find!] 








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Colette Bennett is a Destructoid features editor from New Orleans, Louisiana. She is also a founding member of Destructoid's sister sites Tomopop, a toy lover's blog and Japanator, our anime site. Likes Nintendo DS, NES, Silent Hill series, Rhythm games, RPGs Meet the rest of the team



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29 comments | showing # 1 to 29
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MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 11:47
MaxVest
Mmmmmm... nude game designers. I wonder why it never caught on?
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 11:48
ArrestedDeveloper
Roberta Williams is hot in that picture. I wonder if she'd dress up in peasants clothes and let me call her Rosella.
BluDesign's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 11:58
BluDesign
10 FAP
20 GOTO 10
bloodylip's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 12:01
bloodylip
Which one is Roberta?
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 12:05
ArrestedDeveloper
Roberta is far right.
geronimo's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 12:10
geronimo
Softporn Adventure? That's the best they could come up with?
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 12:13
AngelsDontBurn
Lmao, wow.
JesusXP's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 12:17
JesusXP
finally.. a game for me!

lol, there is still the odd Adult game released, I think Jenna J has one, and theres Playboy Mansion or something..

:( I just want Ninja Gaiden 2 uncut
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 12:26
ArrestedDeveloper
After some nostagic rummaging around the internet I found that you can download this game for free from Al Lowe's (of leisure suit larry fame) website. There are also a few other free games from his early career, mostly disney liscensed games.
ShinAmano's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 12:31
ShinAmano
":( I just want Ninja Gaiden 2 uncut"

What reason would there be to cut it?
black ghost's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 12:34
black ghost
Pics or it didn't happen
Joseph Leray's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 12:44
Joseph Leray
I am Z-machine.
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 12:48
Justice
What an adventure it is!
RICHARD BLOCKER's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 12:56
RICHARD BLOCKER
it's not soft core if it doesn't star Shannon Tweed, queen of the fake BJ.
Lowtax's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 13:02
Lowtax
Ew....Ew.
SH0RYUK3N's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 13:18
SH0RYUK3N
$29.95 for that shit in 1981? Fook that. Wait...I mean...I'd never buy that.
maxio098ui's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 13:23
maxio098ui
i think ms pac man is more fitting porn from the 80's running from all those rapist ghosts eating pep pills like a whore should
Upgrayedd's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 13:31
Upgrayedd
@SH0RYUK3N

It was a hot, new game at the time. Just because it's dated now doesn't mean it wasn't impressive as hell at the time.

I found a Colecovision copy of Donkey Kong in my dad's closet a while back with a $52 (or something like that) price tag on it.
Das Inchworm's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 13:43
Das Inchworm
Leisure suit larry was pretty fuckin awesome from about 1-6.
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 13:47
ArrestedDeveloper
@SH0RYUK3N
Yeah back then PC's were a big luxury, if you invested in a pc that was a few thousand dollars, 30 bucks to for a game that was probably about as cutting edge as it came back then (text adventures cutting edge, who'd have thought?)wasn't a big deal.
teach4food's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 14:20
teach4food
I have a copy of this game still! My older sister bought it for our Apple II+ back in the day. You can play the graphic version, Leisure Suit Larry 1 is basically the exact game but with graphics. It was hilarious, my parents would go somewhere and my sister and older brothers would be sitting at computer desperately trying to complete the game. Good times... good times
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 14:34
Aaron Mxy Yost
@ MaxVest: Well, there was Stevie "Killcreek" Case, although technically she was a level designer.
biz's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 14:37
biz
What's up with pancake-titties on the left there? Yikes.
ChrisSipe's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 14:46
ChrisSipe
Am I the only one who sees the similarities? Roberta Williams = http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000592/
zombie_wannabe's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 14:58
zombie_wannabe
is it me or is the dude in the tux standing in the hot tub?
superNinja's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 15:35
superNinja
LOFL at Biz...
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 17:19
Bob Muir
Bet she regretted posing for this picture.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/13/2007 17:19
Bob Muir
Bet she regretted posing for this picture.
Jetsetlemming's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/17/2007 12:02
Jetsetlemming
The cover is great. :3 The waiter guy in the hot tub with three bored as all fuck looking naked women. It's art, can't you see!?
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