Crack-a-Jack Thompson has been out in full force since the NIU shooting, going so far as to send tips to Destructoid and even join its community. It's very clear that the murders of youngsters excite him, as he grows steadily more active and wild in their wake, especially as he gets to complain about what he deems "murder simulators." In fact, in the comments for yesterday's post, that's the exact term Jackpot used:
"We need to get you sociopathics kiddies off these murder simulators and back to doing your homework."
Of course, this begs the question: Do any of we "sociopathics kiddies" actually play murder simulators? What exactly are murder simulators, and is Grand Theft Auto, BioShock or any other videogame worthy of such a label? Don't ask me, try asking simulator expert Robert Gauss. Gauss has worked with simulators for the US Army and knows a fair bit more about them than some defense attorney who's close to getting disbarred. This is what he had to say:
How well does GTA simulate murder? Just even a cursory look can see how GTA fails this test: Everything is presented via a 3rd person view… weapons auto-load and auto-aim… computer people mostly walk and drive around aimlessly and helplessly… computer people don’t… act in a realistic manner when attacked… bodies disappear and respawn — hardly like murder if they keep coming back to life
Our “gang games” mentioned above do not even represent murder, but rather a cartoony environment… It’s not just unfair to call Grand Theft Auto a “murder simulator,” it is laughably incorrect…
Laughably incorrect. That's laughably incorrect, for those unable to read properly (and I'm thinking of a certain new reader here). In fact, to paraphrase Mr. Thompson himself, let me just say that I know facts are inconvenient things for ambulance chasing social parasites, but there they are, and here I am, right, oh so right, yet again.
HOO AAH!
Doesn't Crack-a-Jack Thompson know the average age of gamers is like 26?
Destructoid is an "awesome at life" simulator, sadly no one has ever passed.
Jack Thompsons Blog:
good idea, bad idea : letting me make my occasionally misguided opinions public
then again, this may be an interesting insight into the views of someone who has become somewhat of a gaming household name by appearing on tv etc. and telling us all that we're going to end up with kids who kill purely from playing games, and nothing else (eg. mental inhibitions which prevent them from functioning like rational humans)
went out to the local gun dealer and bought a Mac-10 with cash...
went out and picked up a hooker to get some health back...
ran said hooker over and took my money back...
killed the cops that immediately responded to my hooker slaying...
shot down the police chopper with small arms fire, while killing off half the local SWAT team...
Finally, the cops take me out, and I woke up in the hospital without any cash...
That's normal, right?
You talk a lot of nonsense.
How did you all confirm that "Jack Thompson" is the real Jack Thompson?
Our “gang games” mentioned above do not even represent murder, but rather a cartoony environment… It’s not just unfair to call Grand Theft Auto a “murder simulator,” it is laughably incorrect…"
the problem with this argument is that it's basically saying games are too unrealistic to be murder simulators...
but the reality is that everyday, videogames come closer and closer to mimicking real life in complete perfection. 10 years from now, the argument that it's 'too unrealistic' to be a simulator isn't going to hold...
gamers need to fall behind an argument that's more real. violent games aren't sold to children in the same way violent films aren't.
This medium isn't going to look 'kiddy' for much longer... and I'm terribly excited about that :)
That's Niero's bag. He ran checks. He also joined on the same day he started sending tips to our tips line from a genuine email address, so it all checks out.
Also NO BLOOD FOR OIL JACK THOMPSON! HOO AAH!
You make a great point, however, no videogame will *ever* be a simulator, no matter how realistic the physics and graphics. By their very nature, videogames have "gameplay" and stick to certain gaming conventions that defy reality. GTA can get as realistic as it wants, but you'll still buy flamethrowers over the counter, be able to drive over lamp-posts and wake up in hospital after being burnt to death minus a few dollars.
Videogames and simulators are two entirely different pieces of software. Games are not made to mimic reality. Simulators are.
Wow, makes me glad I didn't call everyone fucking gullible cunt bags for believing its the real JT. Ha, kinda cool JT posted on Destructoid.
I mean really, at this point he's fallen to the lowest form of the internet. He's fucking trolling. Hell, his posts even read like youtube comments.
Oh, but we're all "e-tards" so I guess he wins. I See what you did there Jack. "E" totally sounds like "Re" AND YOU SWITCHED THEM. HILARIOUS.
Yeah, real funny. Real classy too, making fun of the mentally ill in the wake of the NIU massacre.
YOU ARE CLASSY JACK THOMPSON ATTORNEY! HOO AAH!
Does this "attorney" really have the time or drive to debate us online? Truly sad. I really feel for his kids who have to deal with him every day as a father (albeit they probably don't know better).
There will be a point though, that it will be possible to create a "murder simulator."
I doubt one will ever be mainstream or even published, but, as much as I hate to admit it, one will eventually be made.
It'll just have the same, underground, fucked up market share that snuff films, or the Faces of Death stuff have.
and also jack, get a fucking avatar.
I wonder if he'll sign up for FNF's?
Does anyone know his gamertag?
Oh jack, the internets has you're email adress. Man, you are fucked.
If they were truly killing simulators wouldn't the army be using them for training and such?
Then we'll see what he has to say about counter-strike and GTA.
Even though pilots or astronauts go through countless hours of flight simulation, it really can't prepare them for the emotions of actually flying for the first time.
In short, if that is Jack Thompson, please make the world a better place, and take a large overdose of a tricyclic antidepressant of your choice (around 40x the recommended dosage should do it). Or go back to whatever it was you did before realising you could get on TV by lying to the general public about the content of videogames and the people who play them. Your choice.
LOL, wheres his intro blog anyways!?
I hope he blogs. I reeeeeeealy hope he does.
lol... internet gang rape, by chance? hahah. Pedos get it in prison, lawyers and assholes get it online :)
...Maybe he can write a blog with Yvonne K. Fulbright?
I FEEL LIKE BURNING SOMETHING DOWN!
DUR DUR DUR
Children are running around and shooting each other with these so called "toys". These devices are teaching kids to be stone cold killers! Help me fight Nerf and their evil and keep them from ruining another generation of our children!
oh that's comedy gold and golden blogging integrity right there
The closest thing I've ever seen to honest-to-God videogame inspired violence was when my brothers and cousins would kung-fu fight each other in the basement rec room after watching the Mortal Kombat movie. The Mortal Kombat GAME didn't have that effect on us at all, but the movie did, go figure. The behavior didn't last long, however, because the ADULTS RESPONSIBLE FOR US STOPPED US.
Bottom line, end of story. Responsibility wins the day!
After that we went back to the normal, good, wholesome things kids do without the evil taint of videogames inspiring us to all by psycho school shooters; picking the legs off bugs, throwing mud at girls, wrestling over who gets play with what toy, and breaking things around the house.
Ah, good times.
I so miss my innocent youth. I spend so much time nowaways murdering people because videogames tell me to that sadly I have no time for such recreation.
Even Fox thinks he's a joke, I repeat, even Fox thinks he's a joke. He's a very very small threat to the gaming world and soon to not be a threat at all.
And to Jack Thompson:
You're not going to stop us, just like the old people couldn't stop the metal, just like how the British couldn't stop America from becoming a great free nation. You've lost, go do something useful like working at Starbucks so you can make my coffee.
Also, "e-tards" sound like lawyer talk to me. Way to stir up the hornet's nest before you even say anything.
Also, also, @Jim: If you ever get that email, I'd love to read it.
I know how. It should be pretty clear I have no intention of doing it.