Crack-a-Jack Thompson has been out in full force since the NIU shooting, going so far as to send tips to Destructoid and even join its community. It's very clear that the murders of youngsters excite him, as he grows steadily more active and wild in their wake, especially as he gets to complain about what he deems "murder simulators." In fact, in the comments for yesterday's post, that's the exact term Jackpot used:
"We need to get you sociopathics kiddies off these murder simulators and back to doing your homework."
Of course, this begs the question: Do any of we "sociopathics kiddies" actually play murder simulators? What exactly are murder simulators, and is Grand Theft Auto, BioShock or any other videogame worthy of such a label? Don't ask me, try asking simulator expert Robert Gauss. Gauss has worked with simulators for the US Army and knows a fair bit more about them than some defense attorney who's close to getting disbarred. This is what he had to say:
How well does GTA simulate murder? Just even a cursory look can see how GTA fails this test: Everything is presented via a 3rd person view… weapons auto-load and auto-aim… computer people mostly walk and drive around aimlessly and helplessly… computer people don’t… act in a realistic manner when attacked… bodies disappear and respawn — hardly like murder if they keep coming back to life
Our “gang games” mentioned above do not even represent murder, but rather a cartoony environment… It’s not just unfair to call Grand Theft Auto a “murder simulator,” it is laughably incorrect…
Laughably incorrect. That's laughably incorrect, for those unable to read properly (and I'm thinking of a certain new reader here). In fact, to paraphrase Mr. Thompson himself, let me just say that I know facts are inconvenient things for ambulance chasing social parasites, but there they are, and here I am, right, oh so right, yet again.
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21 comments + 95764 views
FIrst? and I agree :)
What is it Jack's always saying? Ah yes:
HOO AAH!
third? and mr. sterling ftw
The only games I see being "true simulators" are the Guitar Hero franchise and Rock Band, which teaches you to be a massive prima donna, pseudo-cool, douche bag.
Jim, I tip my hat to you. You are my new role model.
5th, maybe 6th?
Doesn't Crack-a-Jack Thompson know the average age of gamers is like 26?
Destructoid is an "awesome at life" simulator, sadly no one has ever passed.
so how does he do gaming blog reviews, does he inform us how a game twists us etc. or does he just berate us for thinking of buying it?
Jack Thompsons Blog:
good idea, bad idea : letting me make my occasionally misguided opinions public
then again, this may be an interesting insight into the views of someone who has become somewhat of a gaming household name by appearing on tv etc. and telling us all that we're going to end up with kids who kill purely from playing games, and nothing else (eg. mental inhibitions which prevent them from functioning like rational humans)
After playing Kororinpa I threw a kitten off a skyscraper.
What is this Guass guy talking about?! Just yesterday I decided I wanted to be a psycho killer so I...
went out to the local gun dealer and bought a Mac-10 with cash...
went out and picked up a hooker to get some health back...
ran said hooker over and took my money back...
killed the cops that immediately responded to my hooker slaying...
shot down the police chopper with small arms fire, while killing off half the local SWAT team...
Finally, the cops take me out, and I woke up in the hospital without any cash...
That's normal, right?
Well that's what happens when you get old.
You talk a lot of nonsense.
I agree that labeling any game that shows violence as a "murder simulator". Any game should never be labeled that, really.
How did you all confirm that "Jack Thompson" is the real Jack Thompson?
Perfect, Jim. :)
" How well does GTA simulate murder? Just even a cursory look can see how GTA fails this test: Everything is presented via a 3rd person view… weapons auto-load and auto-aim… computer people mostly walk and drive around aimlessly and helplessly… computer people don’t… act in a realistic manner when attacked… bodies disappear and respawn — hardly like murder if they keep coming back to life
Our “gang games” mentioned above do not even represent murder, but rather a cartoony environment… It’s not just unfair to call Grand Theft Auto a “murder simulator,” it is laughably incorrect…"
the problem with this argument is that it's basically saying games are too unrealistic to be murder simulators...
but the reality is that everyday, videogames come closer and closer to mimicking real life in complete perfection. 10 years from now, the argument that it's 'too unrealistic' to be a simulator isn't going to hold...
gamers need to fall behind an argument that's more real. violent games aren't sold to children in the same way violent films aren't.
This medium isn't going to look 'kiddy' for much longer... and I'm terribly excited about that :)
"How did you all confirm that "Jack Thompson" is the real Jack Thompson?"
That's Niero's bag. He ran checks. He also joined on the same day he started sending tips to our tips line from a genuine email address, so it all checks out.
Also NO BLOOD FOR OIL JACK THOMPSON! HOO AAH!
slapme7times:
You make a great point, however, no videogame will *ever* be a simulator, no matter how realistic the physics and graphics. By their very nature, videogames have "gameplay" and stick to certain gaming conventions that defy reality. GTA can get as realistic as it wants, but you'll still buy flamethrowers over the counter, be able to drive over lamp-posts and wake up in hospital after being burnt to death minus a few dollars.
Videogames and simulators are two entirely different pieces of software. Games are not made to mimic reality. Simulators are.
^^
Wow, makes me glad I didn't call everyone fucking gullible cunt bags for believing its the real JT. Ha, kinda cool JT posted on Destructoid.
Boom!
How can anyone call a man who has had his sanity called into question an expert on anything?
I mean really, at this point he's fallen to the lowest form of the internet. He's fucking trolling. Hell, his posts even read like youtube comments.
Oh, but we're all "e-tards" so I guess he wins. I See what you did there Jack. "E" totally sounds like "Re" AND YOU SWITCHED THEM. HILARIOUS.
"Oh, but we're all "e-tards" so I guess he wins. I See what you did there Jack. "E" totally sounds like "Re" AND YOU SWITCHED THEM. HILARIOUS."
Yeah, real funny. Real classy too, making fun of the mentally ill in the wake of the NIU massacre.
YOU ARE CLASSY JACK THOMPSON ATTORNEY! HOO AAH!
Wait...wait...back up. Final Fantasy games don't give me the necessary tools to kill legions of people with Firaga? Then what the hell am I playing it for?
I honestly can't believe the guy signed up with the site to comment and insult us. If he does consider us to be "e-tards" as he says, then what he is doing could be likened to going to a mental health center and just making fun of handicapped people.
Does this "attorney" really have the time or drive to debate us online? Truly sad. I really feel for his kids who have to deal with him every day as a father (albeit they probably don't know better).
@Jim Sterling:
There will be a point though, that it will be possible to create a "murder simulator."
I doubt one will ever be mainstream or even published, but, as much as I hate to admit it, one will eventually be made.
It'll just have the same, underground, fucked up market share that snuff films, or the Faces of Death stuff have.
Haha, i really can't believe thee "jack thompson" made an account.
and also jack, get a fucking avatar.
I wonder if he'll sign up for FNF's?
Does anyone know his gamertag?
Oh jack, the internets has you're email adress. Man, you are fucked.
That is cool that Jack had the decency to read and post on the matters and to call us e-tards.
If they were truly killing simulators wouldn't the army be using them for training and such?
Tell Jack Thompson to go watch Hostel.
Then we'll see what he has to say about counter-strike and GTA.
I'd love to comment on this, but I need to get back to my murder simulator, a.k.a. Sim City.
Of course a murder simulator will eventually be possible, but like every simulator out there, it would be impossible to replicate, or simulate the actual emotions that would occur during a murder-it will never be exactly like real life.
Even though pilots or astronauts go through countless hours of flight simulation, it really can't prepare them for the emotions of actually flying for the first time.
You are kidding right?? Jack Thompson uses the term e-tards?? How fucking lame is a lawyer who can't string an argument together without using internet-slang derogatory terms?? (not that I'm defending Jack Thompson's ability to be lame) I remain skeptical.
In short, if that is Jack Thompson, please make the world a better place, and take a large overdose of a tricyclic antidepressant of your choice (around 40x the recommended dosage should do it). Or go back to whatever it was you did before realising you could get on TV by lying to the general public about the content of videogames and the people who play them. Your choice.
@weedgan
LOL, wheres his intro blog anyways!?
Oh, and while I forgot what I was saying there for a second, everyone should buy my book. Its like real good and stuff.
I've played Counter-Strike and I have no idea how in the world I would go about loading and cocking any sort of gun.
I hope he blogs. I reeeeeeealy hope he does.
I don't take someone who calls people e-tards seriously. Honestly, would a real lawyer say that, even online? Mr. Thompson you are more of a joke than a lawyer, and any news outlet that would rely on his "analysis" or "input" for any story is wasting air time on a rambling old man that does not have even a shred of integrity. Go back to pinball, Jack-o-lantern; then again, Pinball machines are just a big "killing people with large metal balls simulator," right? Get a 4x multi-ball for hitting the crotchety old "lawyer!"
@Aerox: Priceless.
"Oh jack, the internets has you're email adress. Man, you are fucked."
lol... internet gang rape, by chance? hahah. Pedos get it in prison, lawyers and assholes get it online :)
If Jack Thompson has to be in the public eye, do us all a favor and STAY on Fox News.
...Maybe he can write a blog with Yvonne K. Fulbright?
Yeah, I co-owned a CS clan 7-8 years ago... never handled a gun in my life. Not to mention I've been playing video games since before I can remember (had an older brother who was into games), and I have never been arrested or committed any type of violent crime in my life. I guess Jack Thompson's logic is pretty conditional.
Can't wait for Jacks first Cblog...
PROFESSOR LAYTON AND THE CURIOUS VILLAGE HAS TOO MANY MATCHSTICK PUZZLES!
I FEEL LIKE BURNING SOMETHING DOWN!
DUR DUR DUR
If stupidity was a crime, Jack would be a lifer.
Even more dangerous than these murder simulators are these "safe and fun" versions of actual guns! You know of what I speak.
Children are running around and shooting each other with these so called "toys". These devices are teaching kids to be stone cold killers! Help me fight Nerf and their evil and keep them from ruining another generation of our children!
"It's very clear that the murders of youngsters excite him"
oh that's comedy gold and golden blogging integrity right there
Jim, you fucking e-tard. >:\
The closest thing I've ever seen to honest-to-God videogame inspired violence was when my brothers and cousins would kung-fu fight each other in the basement rec room after watching the Mortal Kombat movie. The Mortal Kombat GAME didn't have that effect on us at all, but the movie did, go figure. The behavior didn't last long, however, because the ADULTS RESPONSIBLE FOR US STOPPED US.
Bottom line, end of story. Responsibility wins the day!
After that we went back to the normal, good, wholesome things kids do without the evil taint of videogames inspiring us to all by psycho school shooters; picking the legs off bugs, throwing mud at girls, wrestling over who gets play with what toy, and breaking things around the house.
Ah, good times.
I so miss my innocent youth. I spend so much time nowaways murdering people because videogames tell me to that sadly I have no time for such recreation.
Can we just treat Jack Thompson how he deserves to be treated? Instead of giving him more attention, let's start giving him less, I mean look how desperate he actually is. He took the time to register with this site and then make smart-ass remarks.
Even Fox thinks he's a joke, I repeat, even Fox thinks he's a joke. He's a very very small threat to the gaming world and soon to not be a threat at all.
And to Jack Thompson:
You're not going to stop us, just like the old people couldn't stop the metal, just like how the British couldn't stop America from becoming a great free nation. You've lost, go do something useful like working at Starbucks so you can make my coffee.
You know how you kill a troll? You quit feeding it. Obviously he is beyond reasoning. No matter what evidence you bring before him to prove him wrong, he'll just stick his fingers in his ears and go "LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU" like a child. His mindset is that of a child who never thinks he is wrong and I believe Florida's Bar Association would agree. Thanks to Niero, we've all seen his epic hissy in court. Not to mention how he also gets off on his name being mentioned and I'd bet he would be so adamant with out all the flam the Internet provides.
Also, "e-tards" sound like lawyer talk to me. Way to stir up the hornet's nest before you even say anything.
Also, also, @Jim: If you ever get that email, I'd love to read it.
k. i'm a model citizen. i've never beean arrested, i haven't had any disiplinary problems in school in years (and when that was an issues it was simply my interrupting the teachers to inform them of factual inaccuracies), i've completed more than four hundred hours of community service in the past three years, i've been in one fist fight in my life and that was over politics, and i have oodles and oodles of friends both on and offline, and i'm an adamant pacifist. so, tell me jack thompson, if that is your real name, how have video games warped my mind? one of my favorite games is killer7, one that i know you railed against for some time and ultimately failed. by the end of it i was a very different person. but it had nothing to do with violence. it had everything to do with the power of the of the game itself as an artistic work. i had to take about four hours to reexamine the meaning of my life and who i was as a person. that is why i play games, they are powerful, but as a medium, not as "murder simulators". i emplore anyone who has any doubt about the power of games to sit down and PLAY THEM. mass effect, deus ex, killer7, shadow of the collossus, these and countless others are timeless works that deserve recognition. yes, they are quite violent, but i have always believed that artistry is about life, and life itself is terribly violent. the world is full of sexual content as well. we are all products of intercourse and more than 99.9% of us will engage in the act before we're dead and gone. societies that are most permissive in terms of media always seem to have the lowest rates of violent and sexual crimes. if we are ever to solve societies problems we must examine their source. their REAL source. poverty, lack of upward social mobility, lack of proper education, these are the core of social ills. not games. thompson, if you have really joined the fine website, grow up. srsly.
"You know how you kill a troll?"
I know how. It should be pretty clear I have no intention of doing it.
Jacko's quote reminds me of how out-of-touch Mitt Romney sounded when he said "We need to teach our children that before they have babies, they get married"
So if you say a violent game with killing is a murder simulator. Then you're saying video games in general are simulators? If I play a fighting game I'm playing a fighting simulator that's training me to fight? A racing game turns me into a race car driver? Mario games trained me to jump under things and jump up and hit them with my head. I learned how to throw fireballs as well. Wow these training simulators are amazing.
Epic battle is epic. I totally missed all of the drama yesterday. To say that Jack Thompson is a douche would be quite the understatement.
Can you unleash the banhammer on Thompson?
I mean..I watch on Kotaku as they let him rant on and on as he spams every post with some random ass article about how videogames make children turn into homicidal maniacs, but this is Destructoid..we shouldn't take his shit.
By the way Jack..
http://www.cknow.com/ckinfo/e/etard-Astupiduser.html
You're using e-tard in the wrong context.
YOU=FAIL
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