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Game endorsements we never want to see
Christina Faith Winterburn05.17.08 - 1:04 PM 49 comments

Game endorsements we never want to see screenshot

"Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs: The T-shirt, Spaceballs: The Coloring Book, Spaceballs: The Lunch Box, Spaceballs: the Breakfast Cereal, Spaceballs: the Flame Thrower.” – Yogurt. 

I have to agree with that famous movie quote from Spaceballs: The Movie. Merchandising is where the money is made, but how far is too far when it comes to attaching a name to a product? Some people think that there are some products that shouldn't bear the name of their favorite video game series or mascot. 

What do you think? Could you love a video game franchise so much that you would buy anything with its name attached to it? 

Well if you are willing to buy any of the next 10 fake products, then allow me to bestow upon you the title of ultimate fan boy and ask that you back at least 10 paces away from my person. Thank you and enjoy our list of 10 products you never want to see endorsed by your favorite video game series or characters. 

Warning: some of the following products could be seen as obscene and maybe of the scary feminine product type.

[Thanks to Dtoid reader, Domataos for the photos!] 

1. Sonic the Hedgehog Exlax: For when you really need to go fast.

2. BloodRayne Tampons: For when there’s too much blood.

3. Spartan Condoms: Makes you bang like the God of War.

4. Mega Man Viagra: So you too can pew, pew, pew!

5. Princess Peach Birth Control: Works even against reptiles.

6. Bomberman Imodium: Prevention against bombs in your pants.

7. World of Warcraft Diapers: For when getting up during a raid isn’t an option.

8. Mario Bros. Liquid Drain Cleaner: We can get anything out of your pipes, even Goombas.

9. Anti-Toad Brand Canesten: Kills the fungus. Dead.

10. Honey BBQ Chocobo Wings: Sword slaughtered freshness from our factory to your table.



MORE IN OUR Industry Bullshit SECTION

Latest comment by Fing Dr Yang |view all 49 comments
"thank you from saving me, from pregnancy" Awesomeness...



jimjo's Avatar
jimjo at 05/17/2007 13:09

Abacus?
ShinAmano's Avatar
ShinAmano at 05/17/2007 13:10

I would buy the Mario Draino for novelty alone...the others...scary.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 05/17/2007 13:12

I could go for some Chocobo wings right now.
DJDuffy 's Avatar
DJDuffy at 05/17/2007 13:18

I have to say...thats probably the cutest birth control I've ever seen, am I crazy to want it?
Aurikill's Avatar
Aurikill at 05/17/2007 13:29

Did you notice that Luigi is seriously smelling his own finger?
Just think, as a plumber, the variety of substances he have the opportunity to touch... Eww.
Mozgus's Avatar
Mozgus at 05/17/2007 13:31

Was this taken from an old SA Photoshop Friday or is this 'Toid exclusive material?
Christina Faith Winterburn's Avatar
Christina Faith Winterburn at 05/17/2007 13:39

Dtoid exclusive, baby! Domataos did the pretty pictures for me.
fromagex's Avatar
fromagex at 05/17/2007 13:43

the only one of those that looks like its real is the birth control...the rest of those shops are pretty bad. the birth control looks ready to purchase
ekoala2002's Avatar
ekoala2002 at 05/17/2007 13:45

Awesome Pics...I would get the Chocobo wings, just for the novelty...and maybe lunch.
Christina Faith Winterburn's Avatar
Christina Faith Winterburn at 05/17/2007 13:48

@ Fromagex: The shops look great! Domataos worked hard for me and I appreciate the pics.
Kia's Avatar
Kia at 05/17/2007 14:03

fromagex: You don't know what you're talking about. The shops are all very well done!
Ambulance-Y's Avatar
Ambulance-Y at 05/17/2007 14:04

the bloodrayne tampons and mega man viagra are priceless. you too can pew pew pew
fromagex's Avatar
fromagex at 05/17/2007 14:44

i has assumed they were done poorly on purpose...not insulting someones shopping ability.
dvddesign 's Avatar
dvddesign at 05/17/2007 15:02

@fromage

Same thing I tell anyone who's critical of photoshopping...

Provide your own "better" example.

And in cases like these, especially on this site, no one's looking for photo realistic or authentic. If the joke works, it works. I can't imagine what those 7 hour raid pampers must smell like when they're brand new. After all, they're going onto someone who is WILLING to sit for 7 hours already.
galagabug 's Avatar
galagabug at 05/17/2007 15:13

hahaha. if you're gonna quote the greatest movie of all time, you better follow it up with the funny. good thing you did!
shipero's Avatar
shipero at 05/17/2007 15:22

The Bomberman one would make more sense as a laxative.
Namelessted's Avatar
Namelessted at 05/17/2007 15:47

If i was a chick, i would totally buy Princess Peach birth control.
Christina Faith Winterburn's Avatar
Christina Faith Winterburn at 05/17/2007 16:20

I would too - is that wrong?
domataos's Avatar
domataos at 05/17/2007 16:27

^_^ I made those lawl
Christina Faith Winterburn's Avatar
Christina Faith Winterburn at 05/17/2007 16:37

And I love you for it!!!
Tempus's Avatar
Tempus at 05/17/2007 16:37

Chocobo BBQ wings ftw. Breakfast of RPG Champions.
brad drac's Avatar
brad drac at 05/17/2007 16:49

Good 'shops, domataos(and I suppose concepts faith). I laughed.

Interestingly(to me, fuck the rest of ye), george lucas' fortunes are based squarely on merchandising. While negotiating a deal for star wars, he agreed to give up certain junk so that he would maintain merchandising rights. Suffice to say, this was a smart move.
spameggspam's Avatar
spameggspam at 05/17/2007 16:52

ahahahahahhaha holy sh*t thats f*ckin great

goood post made me laugh
snotrocket's Avatar
snotrocket at 05/17/2007 17:37

The birth control looks awesome. The quote is hilarious.
Oni's Avatar
Oni at 05/17/2007 17:48

@Namelessted: I want to buy them and I'm not a chick. Does that make me wrong?
Namelessted's Avatar
Namelessted at 05/17/2007 18:21

what happens if guys start taking birth control pills?
thunderleg's Avatar
thunderleg at 05/17/2007 18:35

If they were real Chocobo wings, I'd have them every Tuesday, especially if they were Black Chocobo wings.
domataos's Avatar
domataos at 05/17/2007 19:03

@nameless ted

They grow tits
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 05/17/2007 22:24

The Bomberman one was a missed opportunity to reference one of the poison power-ups, diarrhea, which makes you drop all your bombs as soon as you can, over and over again. Otherwise, funny!
Dyson's Avatar
Dyson at 05/17/2007 23:59

This is hilarious. Great job Faith!
UNDERSTAR's Avatar
UNDERSTAR at 05/18/2007 00:39

Honey BBQ Chocobo Wings!!! I wonder how they taste like, really!
Lord_Satorious's Avatar
Lord_Satorious at 05/18/2007 01:10

Chocobo wings? Sold.
Paul Soth's Avatar
Paul Soth at 05/18/2007 02:04

Yes I must know what chocobo tastes like. Hell, I'm already curious as to what ostrich tastes like.
Paul Soth's Avatar
Paul Soth at 05/18/2007 02:06

Ah, the good Wikipedia says: Ostrich meat tastes similar to lean beef and is low in fat and cholesterol, as well as high in calcium, protein and iron.

I'm sold.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 05/18/2007 07:47

I've had emu before, that's pretty much want it tastes like.
Virtualgirl's Avatar
Virtualgirl at 05/18/2007 09:59

Yeah, i would buy the drain cleaner, but nothing else...well, i might buy the birth control because its so cute!!!
TheBrain's Avatar
TheBrain at 05/18/2007 10:04

I just have one thing to say about the Sonic laxatives.

Blast Processing
BritiniMartini's Avatar
BritiniMartini at 05/18/2007 13:35

EPIC!!! hahaa
GamexViral's Avatar
GamexViral at 05/18/2007 21:02



Great stuff Destructoid
plyr3005's Avatar
plyr3005 at 05/23/2007 20:34

I dunno about the spartan condoms. personally, when I hear Spartan, I think "TONIGHT WE DINE IN HEEEELLLLLLL" and then anout Halo.

I dunno, may I suggest

Spartan Condoms: For use with MJOLNIR armor. Starndard Issue UNSC.
Arman_Amin's Avatar
Arman_Amin at 05/30/2007 15:13

0.o
Elnoobinator's Avatar
Elnoobinator at 06/12/2007 12:09

Lol spartan condoms.

Thats funny because Streetwise sent people red condoms to promote 300

They came in a matchbook, one side says 300, the date of the release, and the website.

The other site has a spartan helmet and says

"PREPARE FOR GLORY" "SPARTAN CONDOMS"
Purringturtle's Avatar
Purringturtle at 08/09/2008 22:37

Princess birth control pills are priceless! When do those go on sale again?... Er I mean... Nice photoshopping, and I love you bunny avatar.
Jon2309's Avatar
Jon2309 at 08/17/2008 06:58

Scary thing is, number 7 would probably actually sell...
Samit Sarkar's Avatar
Samit Sarkar at 08/24/2008 15:02

Brilliant.
Fronz's Avatar
Fronz at 08/25/2008 18:04

ABACUS!
Fing Dr Yang's Avatar
Fing Dr Yang at 09/24/2008 16:58

"thank you from saving me, from pregnancy" Awesomeness

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