Last week I asked everyone which handheld games they enjoyed more -- Metroid games or Castlevnia games? Several of you refused to choose between the two, one Dtoider rebelled with a vote for Contra, and Dimwit Pest even voted for the wrong debate by commenting "horizontal" for the console competition from two weeks ago. But most of you took sides in what was one of Dtoid's closest debates ever. Here were the results:
Metroid handheld games: 31 votes
Castlevania handheld games: 37 votes - winner!
I think reader brad drac summed it up best with this description: "Metroid invented the style, but I think Castlevania perfected it."
So what's on this week's debate plate? A whole heaping of silver screen sheist -- I want everyone to pick which of Uwe Boll's movies is the worst. It can be a gaming related movie or not, it's all the same category of crap to me. I realize this might be the hardest debate ever, but we need to prepare for his upcoming Postal movie that features tacky Bin Laden parodies, graphic Columbine shooting scenes, and Dave Foley taking a crap on the camera.
The movie trailer can be seen above -- once we've decided on his worst work in the past, we'll then compare it to his new movie when it comes out in theaters and gauge if the feared filmmaker is actually getting worse. Perhaps we'll even hold a contest where we all take a crap on one of his DVD movie covers and send the photos to him in hopes that he never makes another movie ever again.
Tom Fronczak is Destructoid's third hire and obviously a founding editor. Fronz is an accomplished 3D animator and aspires to become the next Miyamoto when he gets old and turns Japanese someday. Fronz is also the founding member of Destructoid's sister movies site, Flixist.
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Seeing as though I just finished DOA, I'd say as of right now DOA is the shittiest movie game adaptation I've ever seen (no tits, but a penis? no thanks)
However, after viewing that trailer, I have no doubt in my mind that Postal will be the worst film of all time, not only just because it's an Uwe Boll game movie.
And I mean, I'm comparing this to the likes of Manos: Hands of Fate, and anything Ed Wood ever crapped out.
Small off-topic comment before the actual debate begins: Super Metroid wasn't a shining example of gaming perfection? I must have had it wrong all these years.
Whichever one had a dead girl actually get up off the floor at the end of the scene because they edited the film so poorly and didn't edit out the part where she got up before they yelled cut. I think it was Blood Rayne.
You know, I have so many bad things to say regarding this hack of a director and his films, but the only problem is that it's hard to chose which is worse (I've been "fortunate" enough to only see Bloodrayne and House of the Dead).
Of those 2, Bloodrayne gets my vote. I've seen cheesy B-movies that had better acting, effects, editing, story line, etc.
All I can say is that I hope people are smart enough to avoid this movie in the theaters at all cost. If you are that desperate to see it, rent it if it ever comes out. It's not worth the buck fifty you'll pay, but it's better than anyone actually making money off of this crap.
I would have to say 'Alone in the Dark'. Simply for Tara Reid.
I actually didn't think BloodRayne was as bad as everyone made it out to be. Though, I saw it for free OnDemand. The rest of our company got a free ticket to see it in the theatre.
hmmm....im going to be the different one and say im actually not excited thats not the right word but im willing to see this film. im not going to give the shit stamp yet only because postal was a terrible game. i have no emotional attachment to it and it was what this movie promises offensive and generally just messed up. i think this is the movie uwe boll can actually deliver on because its already coming from a shit of a game so its already hard to mess up the "franchise" and im already a fan of dave foley so thats just a plus for me.
You know what? didnt look that half bad lol As long as they KNOW its a shit movie, and they run with it, might be half decent. But its still going to be half bad haha fuck it looks better then Epic Movie did, and that came in first god damnit! Dumb ass american kids lol was I this dumb when I was younger?
I think it got such a bad rap because decent actors and the game's actual storyline were really good, but then they were ripped completely apart just so people can make money on a tax loophole. That, and you have to take into account the more decent franchises that are made into crappy movies just make it harder for any good game films to EVER be made.
haha i know i was listening to this podcast awhile ago were uwe was the special guest and he was describing all this shit in the film. he seemed really enthused about the fact he got to see dave foleys 3rd eye...o boy..lol.
Because He can, Uwe can only make money on movies crappy or not. And now looking at that trailer, it looks as if he gave up tring, it looks as if he just dosnt care anymore.
I think he was trying to salvage his horrid career by purposely making a bad movie, about a bad game.hat tailors
Postal will be his worse movie, cause he simply gave up pleasing the community that his movies tailors to.
Also, its gonna suck cause theres no Gary Colman in it.
I'm going to have to go and vote for a tie.
Yes, I"m voting for every single one of them. I don't care if that's against the rules Fronz! You take it anyway!
Also, is it just me or does Postal look more like a Troma film than anything Uwe's done in the past?
okay hold on... lemme get this straight. So Boll makes movies and the internet says "Fuck you your shit sucks" and everyone points and laughs at the ugly german who makes bad movies. He gets in an uproar and challenges those who gave him a bad review to beat them up. (For one, he also got to choose his opponents and did not give them the "training" he promised before stepping into the ring with him).
He now makes a movie Postal... and a key part of his actual advertising campaign is doing exactly what he was so pissed off about before? making fun of himself? Okay... Now i'm certain he just makes movies because he's a greedy douche.
my vote: Alone in the dark. bloodrayne had boobies.
WAIT! I thought Uwe Boll of crap wasn't allowed to make movies anymore after the incident in Pittsburg where a whole theater commited sucicide after the first 5 minutes of Bloodrayne. That being said my vote is for Bloodrayne
The only Boll movie I've seen was House o' the Dead, so I have to vote for that. The trailer for Postal though? That may be so tragically awful that it will wrap around and be funny. Like The Underground Comedy Movie.
Well, worse than that, but come on, when are fart jokes NOT funny?
I saw House of the Dead -- yes, the whole thing -- and told myself "Never again." So I guess that gets my vote. But that was a truly terrible movie. Postal doesn't look any worse than any of the steaming turds Broken Lizard's been throwing at us for the last five years.
Uwe boll is one of the funniest men alive. you are all just lame bitches who, for some reason, take video game movies seriously. i cant think of anything funnier then watching a shitty uwe boll movie and making fun of all the shit he does. hes a great, hilarious man
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Contest:
12:58 AM on 01.31.2007
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However, after viewing that trailer, I have no doubt in my mind that Postal will be the worst film of all time, not only just because it's an Uwe Boll game movie.
And I mean, I'm comparing this to the likes of Manos: Hands of Fate, and anything Ed Wood ever crapped out.
Alone in the Dark has my vote.
Of those 2, Bloodrayne gets my vote. I've seen cheesy B-movies that had better acting, effects, editing, story line, etc.
All I can say is that I hope people are smart enough to avoid this movie in the theaters at all cost. If you are that desperate to see it, rent it if it ever comes out. It's not worth the buck fifty you'll pay, but it's better than anyone actually making money off of this crap.
I actually didn't think BloodRayne was as bad as everyone made it out to be. Though, I saw it for free OnDemand. The rest of our company got a free ticket to see it in the theatre.
thats right baby, full on canadian penis ftw.
I think it got such a bad rap because decent actors and the game's actual storyline were really good, but then they were ripped completely apart just so people can make money on a tax loophole. That, and you have to take into account the more decent franchises that are made into crappy movies just make it harder for any good game films to EVER be made.
I vote to kill Uwe Boll.
If that doesn't count as a vote -- then Bloodrayne.
haha i know i was listening to this podcast awhile ago were uwe was the special guest and he was describing all this shit in the film. he seemed really enthused about the fact he got to see dave foleys 3rd eye...o boy..lol.
a fat michael madsen in any movie makes it suck
I love Dave Foley, and is that Skut Farkis!?
but Postal looks like it would be absolutely painful to watch
I think he was trying to salvage his horrid career by purposely making a bad movie, about a bad game.hat tailors
Postal will be his worse movie, cause he simply gave up pleasing the community that his movies tailors to.
Also, its gonna suck cause theres no Gary Colman in it.
I haven't seen it, but something tells me his first movie was his worst.
Yes, I"m voting for every single one of them. I don't care if that's against the rules Fronz! You take it anyway!
Also, is it just me or does Postal look more like a Troma film than anything Uwe's done in the past?
This PSA has been created to try and stop Uwe Boll.
House of the Dead is the only Boll movie I've seen, and I swore never again....
Actually, I'd have a hard time checking this out mostly because I couldn't get past the fact that Scut played DAVE on Titus.
He now makes a movie Postal... and a key part of his actual advertising campaign is doing exactly what he was so pissed off about before? making fun of himself? Okay... Now i'm certain he just makes movies because he's a greedy douche.
my vote: Alone in the dark. bloodrayne had boobies.
that makes sense right?
You couldn't pay me to watch one.
Well... maybe, depends on how much.
Well, worse than that, but come on, when are fart jokes NOT funny?