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G4TV needs another slut

10:30 PM on 04.02.2009 // Jim Sterling
  @JimSterling

What do G4TV and Roman Polanski have in common? They both prey on young girls who don't know any better. Yes, once again G4 TV has put out a casting call for hot women to join their ranks of presenters. One of the older hosts must have hit the retirement age of 19.

If you think you've got what it takes (i.e., boobs) and are prepared to go all the way (i.e., shag everyone) then hop along to L.A. anytime between now and April 7. Make sure you're "fresh-faced and spunky," which I think is Hollywood talk for "looks like a child and knows how to swallow."

Strangely, you only ever hear about them looking for women and never men. This leads me to believe that G4 is actually run by Elizabeth Bathory, 15th-century Hungarian noblewoman and serial killer, who is routinely picking up impressionable wannabe female celebrities and continuing her ritualistic slaughter of girls, that she might bathe in their blood to acquire eternal life.

In fact, that is definitely what's happening.




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Jim Sterling, Former Reviews Editor
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Destructoid reviews editor, responsible for running and maintaining the cutting edge videogame critique that people ignore because all they want to see are the scores at the end. Also a regular f... more   |   staff directory

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