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Funcom employee fired for cybersex with player in Age of Conan

2:46 AM on 08.10.2008, Conrad Zimmerman 58 comments

     Sex

Age of Conan

It seems that somebody has been sticking their sword into the wrong dungeon. The story goes that an Age of Conan player summoned a GM and convinced them to engage in a little "role-playing". The GM then took the player to a more secluded portion of the game world and (after a bit of hemming and hawing) proceeded to describe a sexual scenario in graphic detail.

Best of all? The whole thing is a setup. Shortly after things get really hot and heavy, the player reveals that he lied about his gender before screaming, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and announcing that he has AIDS. It's times like this where I have to thank God for the creation of the internet.

Funcom, understandably, was less amused with the situation and released the following statement:

We are aware of this matter, and necessary measures have been taken against them. We have clear guidelines for all employees in Funcom, not least those who work with customer service, and if the guidelines are broken there are consequences

Put on your robe and wizard hat because a transcript of the chat conversation, complete with screenshots, is available here. I don't think I should have to warn you that it's NSFW, but it's obvious from the conversation that some people out there still don't know what's appropriate when on the job.

 

[Via Itavisen (translated by Google) -- Thanks, Cory!]


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Aex's Avatar
Aex at 08/10/2008 02:56
This is FUCKING Classic...

Seriously...

FUCKING CLASSIC.
Timmeh's Avatar
Timmeh at 08/10/2008 03:01
I to am praising the internet gods, this is fucking epic.
Holy shit, where do these people come from?

[|GM|]: lol ok.
[|GM|]: Glad I put my clothes back on lol
To []: Yeah probably a good idea. I have aids.

Ahahahaahhahah
Technophile's Avatar
Technophile at 08/10/2008 03:02
holy hell, do they outsource their GM's to anyone on the street? That was pathetically unprofessional.
RawwrBag's Avatar
RawwrBag at 08/10/2008 03:11
Man that is amazing.
NightmareKira's Avatar
NightmareKira at 08/10/2008 03:13
I want to believe this is a joke, but it's obviously not. This is epic lulz of the highest caliber.
Unicorn's Avatar
Unicorn at 08/10/2008 03:23
i missed the THIS IS SPARTA, but got the I HAVE AIDS. epic win
acrana's Avatar
acrana at 08/10/2008 03:25
Eh its failcom nothing new
jpitner's Avatar
jpitner at 08/10/2008 03:42
anything that links to bloodninja is full win. +10
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 08/10/2008 03:55
Hilarious, truly greatness.

"[|GM|]: um what’s fapping (not up to par on the ling) lol"

LMAO.
Syn's Avatar
Syn at 08/10/2008 04:24
Burn.

Epic GMSecks five *fives Todd*
TewDee's Avatar
TewDee at 08/10/2008 04:29
And this is only more proof that AoC needs work.


ESPECIALLY in the GM department.
calpis's Avatar
calpis at 08/10/2008 04:35
O_O
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 08/10/2008 04:43
I kind of think it's lame on the part of the person who got his kicks pretending to be a girl to indulge in fake cyber for a laugh. As sad as that strikes me, the GM is probably the dumbest fuck in MMO land, which says a lot.
Syn's Avatar
Syn at 08/10/2008 04:52
You never know, maybe the guy actually did get his nut from that little exchange. I find it funny that the GM took little to no coercing, didn't even make much of an effort to find out if the player was actually female. What fool takes their word for it? Especially when gamers know how rare a real female is (particularly in MMOs). Definitely not his first offense ahyuk.
Professor Pew's Avatar
Professor Pew at 08/10/2008 05:12
Heh, long live the internet.
saggo's Avatar
saggo at 08/10/2008 05:14
Hehe thats wierd :)

http://www.mmonewz.com
Timmeh's Avatar
Timmeh at 08/10/2008 05:16
Maybe the guy did the whole thing as a prank, like it says.

Also, I agree with Syn - only a totla fucktard takes someone playing an MMORPG at their word when they say they are female!
Lamito's Avatar
Lamito at 08/10/2008 05:28
You don't get that kinda customer service from a GM in WoW.
Miguelcar808's Avatar
Miguelcar808 at 08/10/2008 05:41
I was needing a good laugh.
Fusiontr's Avatar
Fusiontr at 08/10/2008 05:50
fucking epic!
xe-cute's Avatar
xe-cute at 08/10/2008 07:12
When an MMORPG is so bad than this service should be available for free included with your subscription.


I do not see what the problem is :)
mistic's Avatar
mistic at 08/10/2008 07:42
awesoem, GM got owned :-)
Riegel88's Avatar
Riegel88 at 08/10/2008 08:42
Hahahaha, that is great!!
Cartman's Avatar
Cartman at 08/10/2008 08:47
Wow, its like the early days of habbo hotel all over again.
foxhound009's Avatar
foxhound009 at 08/10/2008 08:53
hehe this made me lol :D
foxhound009's Avatar
foxhound009 at 08/10/2008 08:57
seriouslly.. does that ever happens in wow :D ?
I just started to play wow :) mc so far... but no GM's to trying have cybersex with me yet :(
.. xD awesome!
Lord Bowser's Avatar
Lord Bowser at 08/10/2008 09:04
Oh dear, how base.
zell's Avatar
zell at 08/10/2008 09:05
Why is it that when I played, it would be 10+ hours before a GM responds to your ticket?

This mofuckah is cybering with customers while I can't save a wounded child cause of a glitch.
dephect's Avatar
dephect at 08/10/2008 09:10
Viva la internet.
Holyetheline's Avatar
Holyetheline at 08/10/2008 09:28
WTF that cyber log was ridiculous.
Y0j1mb0's Avatar
Y0j1mb0 at 08/10/2008 09:45
More in our SEX SECTION...

I didn't know we had a sex section.
Rob165x's Avatar
Rob165x at 08/10/2008 09:57
lmao....yea probably a good idea...I have Aids.
fonebook's Avatar
fonebook at 08/10/2008 10:13
To []: I’m 9.
[|GM|]: OMG


That was the best thing I've ever seen! And this is my first post ever... Now, back to lurking!
The-Excel's Avatar
The-Excel at 08/10/2008 10:23
"It seems that somebody has been sticking their sword into the wrong dungeon."

Best innuendo ever.
realyst's Avatar
realyst at 08/10/2008 10:50
Someone get those Funcom guys some porn and privacy. Seems they need a little stress relief.
Rucksack's Avatar
Rucksack at 08/10/2008 11:19
Oh man....
Bans's Avatar
Bans at 08/10/2008 11:44
That's shitty the dude lost his job based on what the end user was doing. This isn't to say that the GM should be above all that shit. But I always find it a little odd when guys "joke" for more than 10 mins in a sexual scenario with another dude. It is funny but still a shitty thing to pull a guy into. Like most of us have never tried anything stupid for a girl.. anyway that GM was a silly goof. I can't wait for the guy who roped him in to actually come out of the closet as well.
JiR INC's Avatar
JiR INC at 08/10/2008 12:46
meh what people will do in there spare time..... and to be suckered in a situation like this XD
Timmeh's Avatar
Timmeh at 08/10/2008 12:58
Bans:

I'm sure they probably record and monitor GM conversations and that's how it was discovered by Funcom. You say him getting caught is a bit shitty... What if it turned out it really WAS a kid and he was saying all that stuff - he didn't ask until after he was.... done.
MechaMonkey's Avatar
MechaMonkey at 08/10/2008 12:59
He gave in awfully quick, didn't he?

Player: Wanna have cyber sex in an online game?
GM: My pants were off before you started speaking.
TheNakedAnt's Avatar
TheNakedAnt at 08/10/2008 14:03
Apparently what happens in Hyboria, does not stay in Hyboria.
Volomon's Avatar
Volomon at 08/10/2008 14:14
Thats just screwed up and even more so if he truly said Sparta.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar
Samit Sarkar at 08/10/2008 14:49
Oh wow, the ending is priceless. Hell, this whole story is priceless.
c0dek's Avatar
c0dek at 08/10/2008 17:05
Jack Thompson just a-sploded...
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 08/10/2008 20:50
This story just made my day.
Puppy Licks's Avatar
Puppy Licks at 08/10/2008 23:25
under-age of conan eh?

VIRTUAL ORGASMIC RAPE!!!
pendelton21's Avatar
pendelton21 at 08/11/2008 00:19
I miss going to Funcoland...
Rayne's Avatar
Rayne at 08/12/2008 10:54
ok this is one of those times when the word OWNED is needed
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