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Fun for the whole family: Cornholing comes to the Wii photo

A popular college pastime will soon come to video game consoles.

Thus begins The Lantern's article on Incredible Technologies' game version of Ohio's noble pastime of "cornholing". Armed with only a vague knowledge of the strange rituals conducted by the denizens of middle(ish) America and a widely accepted definition for cornholing, I expected a whole different ball game.

Sadly, Nintendo isn't abandoning its trend of family-friendly shovelware for the Wii in favor of horrible deviant-friendly shovelware. Instead of a game in which the Wiimote is put to nauseating use, Incredible Technologies is releasing Target Toss Pro: BAGS, which, in spite of its potentially questionable title, has nothing to do with forced penetration, corn-based or otherwise. 

Answering the questions nobody asked, Andy Kniaz, executive director of Incredible Technologies, explained why they were making a game about throwing a bag of corn through a hole, "Our designers basically realized there's no reason why you couldn't really make a video game of it." An astute observation to be sure, but one that doesn't address why you wouldn't "make a video game of it."

Aside from the endlessly entertaining "throw the object through the hole" gameplay Target Toss Pro: BAGS brings to the table, it will also reportedly feature "Vegas BAGS" mode, in which players are given a card out of a 52-card deck for every shot made attempting to construct the best poker-hand possible. It's worth noting that "Vegas BAGS" is also a term with two very dissimilar meanings, and one which I would heartily advise you refrain from using should you find yourself in negotiations with a Vegas hooker.

[Thanks, Jonathan!]


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39 comments | showing # 1 to 39
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MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 19:48
MrSadistic
what
rhk's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 19:48
rhk
huh?
Scary Womanizing Pig Mask's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 19:49
Scary Womanizing Pig Mask
I was hoping that cornholing would be a euphemism for something else :(
Electro Lemon's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 19:51
Electro Lemon
In before "I'll show you a cornhole..."
DonWii's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 19:53
DonWii
I thought this was announced for WiiWare...
Joe Burling's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 19:55
Joe Burling
Cornhole in Cincinnati
The west side of Cincinnati has been widely accepted as the birthplace of Cornhole.[citation needed] The first games were played in the early '60s and dubbed "cornhole" due to the bag's feed corn stuffing.

Cornhole is popular around Cincinnati and is played during family activities, like picnics, during tailgating, and other social events.
Joe Burling's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 19:59
Joe Burling
Speaking of Cincinnati...
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 20:05
ArrestedDeveloper
Everybody's laughing and riding and cornholing except Buster.
tratch's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 20:06
tratch
Everyone's laughing and riding and cornholing except Buster.
tratch's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 20:07
tratch
Oh shit, jinx.
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 20:11
MaxVest
And then they proceeded to make a game about salad tossing, because chefs around the world enjoy this healthy, family-friendly pastime.
parrothead's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 20:13
parrothead
I actually love this game, but I cannot see how it would be fun for very long on a video game. There is a bar that I go to here, that has the game and I have to say that I get bored after about half an hour. Oh wait, that is like every other Wii game that is no Mario Galaxy or Zelda. So I guess this works.
c0dek's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 20:20
c0dek
sure, they'll make THIS, but they won't take me up on my "fling poo like a monkey" concept. whatever.
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 20:23
Niero
I want a Wii game where I clean the back of ceiling fans. Can someone make this happen?
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 20:26
Eschatos
Why the fuck would anyone want to play this?
Wexx's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 20:26
Wexx
Ugh.......
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 20:39
Mxyzptlk
Gaybear is going to be really disappointed...
Magesx's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 21:06
Magesx
SHOVELWARE
Professor Pew's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 21:17
Professor Pew
Is there gonna be a Cornholio outfit?
Alexradl's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 21:31
Alexradl
Don't worry. Mama will fix it.
OhJAM's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 21:38
OhJAM
Yes, you too can now enjoy the thrill of virtual conrnholing, along with other popular backwoods events like the County Line Moonshine Run, the 800-meter Sibling Rape and my personal favorite, Wife-in-Bondage Boxing. Good times for all, the Arkansas way!
jerrt's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 22:22
jerrt
when is someone going to tell the rest of the world that corn hole used to mean something completely different. go and look on urban dictionary which definition is rated higher.
cannonball's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 22:23
cannonball
so....cornhole gets a Wii game before disc golf does....fail
NihonTiger90's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 22:42
NihonTiger90
I graduated college. I'm supposed to be away from this shit.
cbre88x's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 22:52
cbre88x
Ironic, I was actually introduced to this game while I was camping all night at a Best Buy to get a Wii. It's actually pretty fun, but a Wii game? Really?

For Shame.
Rifter01's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 22:55
Rifter01
@TUBATIC .. I love that Bevis reference..

But seriously.. It is stuff like that game that is turning the Wii into almost a complete novelty as far as disc based games go.. I find it strange that while the Wii has alot of potential, it is largly ignored. :o/ Oh well, maybe someday I make a gr8 WiiWare title and show 'em how its done. Ten Dollar! Ten Dollar!
sweetchuck's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 23:20
sweetchuck
I love cornholing as much as the next guy (seriously, I'm a UC grad), but I just don't see the point of this. Granted, I said the same thing about Cooking Momma, and numerous other titles.
WastelandTraveler's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/14/2008 23:23
WastelandTraveler
oi :( the real thing is oh so much more enjoying. the pub that I go to has this game set up outside, along with ping pong.

This game = enjoyable in real life, while drunk. Not on wii in room ;(
Paul Soth's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 01:07
Paul Soth
As part of the tradition at OSU, this then leads to more drinking, then couches and dumpsters being set on fire, cars flipped over, and general mayhem all around.

I know. I've lived in this town for 28 years.
gotdurnrite's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 06:55
gotdurnrite
Where's the Cleveland Steamer game where you play as a captain trying to make it as driver in the corrupt world of steamboat racing in Lake Erie.
Char Aznable's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 07:27
Char Aznable
Incredible Technologies deserves to go bankrupt for this. Fuck Golden Tee.
ToeKing's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 09:04
ToeKing
@cannonball
Disc golf is one of the mini games in the monkey ball game... it's not too much fun to play though :(
SWE3tMadness's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 09:43
SWE3tMadness
Jesus christ, just how hard is it to actually go out and play it in real life? My friends and I rigged up a cornhole set with old cardboard and beanbags. Far cheaper than buying this crap, and almost certainly a hell of a lot more fun.
NSNick's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 11:34
NSNick
The Lantern got quoted somewhere. Man, that paper sucks.
welkstar's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 12:06
welkstar
I've seen the cornhole arcade cab, so this isn't a total shock. I'm really more surprised by OSU's crappy paper getting a quote than on the game. I go to OSU and I hardly ever read that junk. My boss and I got a good laugh outta this.
Blackhat's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/15/2008 21:48
Blackhat
"Ironic, I was actually introduced to this game while I was camping all night at a Best Buy to get a Wii."

That isn't irony. In fact, it's the opposite of irony. Sorry this stuff bugs me.

As to the story, I see this shit, and I get scared. Are we really so devoid of ideas that this is being made for the Wii? Come on.
Necros's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/16/2008 23:51
Necros
...seriously?
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