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Fugitive caught after stuffing DS games down his pants photo

If there's one thing worse than being an escaped criminal with a heroin habit, it's being STUPID escaped criminal with a heroin habit. Daniel Larson, despite being incredibly idiotic, became Lee County, Florida's most wanted fugitive after getting out of jail with a fake ID and violating his undeserved probation (seriously). The moron was finally caught after he attempted to steal $120 worth of DS games from a local Walmart.

The thirty-two-year old imbecile, whose lists of crimes include armed robbery, larceny and kidnapping, attempted to leave the Walmart store with a whole host of portable games stuffed into his pants and shoes. Presumably he was about as subtle as a bright green penis, since he was quickly stopped by a loss prevention officer. He shoved the officer and tried to escape, but was brought down and handcuffed. 

Larson said he was planning to sell the games to support his 15-year drug habit. Because everybody knows that the fastest way to get your hands on some skag is to swap it for a copy of Imagine Babyz

The nature of his escape was dumb enough, but the re-arrest catapults this to legendary status. I hope he escaped again. I'd love to see how he tops this performance.


Continue: More STOOPID! stories





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20 comments | showing # 1 to 20

Magnalon's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 16:32
Magnalon
"Lee County, Florida"

Why am I not surprised.
Kakihara_The_Killer's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 16:32
Kakihara_The_Killer
I fantasize that he looked like Dave Chapelle.
Super Drybones's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 16:35
Super Drybones
"Escaped prisioner gets drunk and breaks into police station, then proceeds to fall asleep in jail cell."
KorJax's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 16:36
KorJax
Now on the other end of the spectrum you have people like these guys who deserve medals for being total awesome bad-asses in crime.
DaedHead8's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 16:44
DaedHead8
OMG! DS games cause crime! We need to ban DS games!
Super Drybones's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 16:44
Super Drybones
@KorJax
Go big or go home I guess.
Personally I would use a speed boat and a well placed ramp to jump aboard a yacht then proceed to rob the rich people and get away in their helicopter to a waiting motorcycle.
GoldenGamerXero's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 16:51
GoldenGamerXero
@KorJax

Now that's a heist!
bigRed's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 16:56
bigRed
was one of them "My Stop Stealing Coach"?
Magesx's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 17:00
Magesx
"getting out of jail with a fake ID"

what.
h5e5l5l5o5's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 17:02
h5e5l5l5o5
NOEZ! DS GAMEZ ARE BAD 4 U!

hahaha jk
Operative20's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 17:04
Operative20
Damn I wish he was able to keep it going until the pokemon remakes came out. I am disappoint.
Los255's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 17:21
Los255
"I'd love to see how he tops this performance."

He steals Wii accessories.
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 17:21
ace of knaves
I'd really like to know which games he tried to swipe.
yggogre's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 18:00
yggogre
How do you even fit a game box into your shoes? I guess he must have opened them but still.. It's less funny that way. You can just imagine the shapes sticking out of his clothes.
Xzyliac's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 18:04
Xzyliac
Wait, wait, wait.

He can kidnap someone but he can't steal a few DS games?

Fuck this story I want more info on the kidnapping part.
TehBuLL's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 18:40
TehBuLL
so wait...they aren't free anymore?
indigit4l's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 20:20
indigit4l
true story: went to prison for two years for failing probation regarding shoplifting a dreamcast game and a pc game, for running out the store when the detector went off. shoplifting 2 games got me a robbery (felony 2).
runtheplacered's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 22:35
runtheplacered
@indigit4l,

Huh, really? That sucks man. In my state it's not a felony unless what you stole was worth $500 or more.

Oh wait.. did you get the 2 years because of failing the probation? Or for actually stealing?
sirinth's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/28/2009 02:28
sirinth
Having worked at a gamestop in the crappier part of towm, I can attest to many a gruff, crack-head looking guy coming into our store and trading in a pile of suspiciously new copies (as in, the box had never been opened. You could tell when you had to struggle to pry the game out of each box) of such wonderful (and manly!) hits as Imagine: Babies, Catz, Drawn to Life: Spongebob, Disney Princesses, and Hannah Montana. All for cash, of course.

The same held true for -any- game that ended up on a walmart endcap, or wasn't otherwise behind a locked glass door. The wal-mart was like 3 doors down.

I guess they at least figured out that we won't take sealed games for trade, so they at least took the plastic off for us. =/
Jaffacakelover's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/28/2009 05:45
Jaffacakelover
@Los255
"What's this in your pants sir, a... wiimote?"
*shudders*
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