If there's one thing worse than being an escaped criminal with a heroin habit, it's being STUPID escaped criminal with a heroin habit. Daniel Larson, despite being incredibly idiotic, became Lee County, Florida's most wanted fugitive after getting out of jail with a fake ID and violating his undeserved probation (seriously). The moron was finally caught after he attempted to steal $120 worth of DS games from a local Walmart.
The thirty-two-year old imbecile, whose lists of crimes include armed robbery, larceny and kidnapping, attempted to leave the Walmart store with a whole host of portable games stuffed into his pants and shoes. Presumably he was about as subtle as a bright green penis, since he was quickly stopped by a loss prevention officer. He shoved the officer and tried to escape, but was brought down and handcuffed.
Larson said he was planning to sell the games to support his 15-year drug habit. Because everybody knows that the fastest way to get your hands on some skag is to swap it for a copy of Imagine Babyz.
The nature of his escape was dumb enough, but the re-arrest catapults this to legendary status. I hope he escaped again. I'd love to see how he tops this performance.
Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize.
Likes
PS2, iPod Touch, Silent Hill 2, Metal Gear Solid, Dynasty Warriors 3
Meet the rest of the team
| BBcode help |
| [b]Bold text[/b] |
Bold text |
| [i]Italic text[/i] |
Italic text |
| [url]http://www.dtoid.com/[/url] |
http://www.dtoid.com |
| [url=http://www.dtoid.com/]Web link[/url] |
Web link |
|
| [img]http://www.example.com/robot.jpg[/img] |
 |
Post a comment! You can also post a photo below:
Comment with Facebook
Click connect and comment instantly!
|
Comment with Dtoid
New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds
|
20 comments | showing # 1 to 20
|
Comment with Facebook
Click connect and comment instantly!
|
Comment with Dtoid
New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds
|
Comments policy
Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?
Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!
Contest:
4:30 PM on 09.27.2009
| 
Why am I not surprised.
Go big or go home I guess.
Personally I would use a speed boat and a well placed ramp to jump aboard a yacht then proceed to rob the rich people and get away in their helicopter to a waiting motorcycle.
Now that's a heist!
what.
hahaha jk
He steals Wii accessories.
He can kidnap someone but he can't steal a few DS games?
Fuck this story I want more info on the kidnapping part.
Huh, really? That sucks man. In my state it's not a felony unless what you stole was worth $500 or more.
Oh wait.. did you get the 2 years because of failing the probation? Or for actually stealing?
The same held true for -any- game that ended up on a walmart endcap, or wasn't otherwise behind a locked glass door. The wal-mart was like 3 doors down.
I guess they at least figured out that we won't take sealed games for trade, so they at least took the plastic off for us. =/
"What's this in your pants sir, a... wiimote?"
*shudders*