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Jack Thompson is a familiar name to regular FOXTOID readers. He's our school shootings expert, as well as our men's grooming columnist and yogurt correspondent. A few weeks ago, I caught up with the silver haired lothario to talk about a few of his favorite things. What he said to me has never before been considered good enough to publish, but this is FOXTOID, where quality comes second!

Hit the jump for the official FOXTOID interview with Jack Thompson (based on an actual email exchange actually had in actual February. Actually)!

 

FOXTOID: What is your favorite videogame?

Thompson:
Kill All the Gamers.   It's a great game

FOXTOID: I've not heard of that one. Is it on Xbox 360?

Thompson: Uh huh.  love it

FOXTOID:
Interesting. So would you say that aggravating gamers is more satisfying than protecting children?

Thompson: They're one in the same.  I'm sorry you haven't figured that out

FOXTOID: Don't apologize, it's okay Jack Thompson.

If you could choose between letting one child buy Grand Theft Auto, or eating one thousand eggs, what would you choose?

Thompson: I'm not apologizing, but you should.

FOXTOID:
I'm sorry that I take your insults toward hard working developers to heart, Jack Thompson. [Editor's note -- FOXTOID was joking here. We love insulting game developers really]

Thompson:
Hitler was "hard working" as well.

FOXTOID: I know. I played Wolfenstein. He was a busy man.

So do you believe game developers support the systematic extermination of Jews?

Thompson: So, what controlled substance are you on this morning?

FOXTOID:
This morning I have been melting down glass and huffing the fumes.

What about you Jack? A bit early in the day for the crack cocaine I imagine. Just a nice tall glass of OJ?

Thompson: Legal Department

MSNBC on the Internet
One Microsoft Way
Redmond, WA 98052

Re:  False and Defamatory Assault by MSNBC on Jack  Thompson

Dear Legal Department:

Your “contributor” Winda Benedetti has now twice falsely defamed me on behalf of MSNBC.com, and I intend to bring a civil action in state court in Florida for libel.

See http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18220228/ and http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23204875/.

In the latter hit piece, which runs today, Benedetti and MSNBC have excluded from this crazed and libelous screed the comments from me that she said she wanted, which deletion, of course, helps make the “actual malice” point.

Finally, but not exhaustively, NBC News apparently did not consider me a shameless “self-promoter” when it had me on the Today Show and NBC Nightly News I believe a total of ten times.  But once my criticism began to inconvenience Bill Gates’ NBC partner, Microsoft, (MSNBC.com is a 50/50  partnership) then all of a sudden I’m the Anti-Christ.  Even Chris Matthews recently got in on the fun.

A jury is going to love this libel action, and I’m going to love wading through Microsoft’s files about Jack Thompson.  I’m interviewing lawyers for the purpose of bringing the action.    Please contact me as soon as possible.

Regards, Jack Thompson

FOXTOID:
That's awesome. Do you think you are going to win?

So what did we learn from all this? We learned that Jack Thompson is a hero and an all-American who is defending the rights of children everywhere. God bless you, Thompson. God bless you, America. 



MORE IN OUR SECTION

Latest comment by HarassmentPanda |view all 35 comments
BEEDOG keeps it REAL....



Ogu's Avatar
Ogu at 04/01/2008 11:54

yes!
Ogu's Avatar
Ogu at 04/01/2008 11:56

Jack Thompson is my all time favorite person. He should be in a videogame.

Jack is an hero.
Topher Cantler's Avatar
Topher Cantler at 04/01/2008 11:58

Surely you would never spy Geraldo Beedog interviewing Jack Thompson. Geraldo Beedog has STANDARDS. And ETHICS. And the battery in his phone is almost dead.

Because JOURNALISM.
Neonie's Avatar
Neonie at 04/01/2008 11:58

I condone this article.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 04/01/2008 11:59

That is such a heart warming smile.
Shinu's Avatar
Shinu at 04/01/2008 11:59

FoxToid is the best thing that happened to me today.

Unless I find a cigarette that wasnt completly smoked on the pavement. Which would make FoxToid 2nd next best thing.
Aerox's Avatar
Aerox at 04/01/2008 12:03

If more Americans were true patriots like Jack Thompson, this country would be a better place. Jack Thompson respects our flag and God and is fighting the REAL war on terror - the war against the liberal media.
Professor Pew's Avatar
Professor Pew at 04/01/2008 12:03

Jack Thompson is a hero. He is to videogames as I am to the Latino community.
Snaileb 's Avatar
Snaileb at 04/01/2008 12:04

"Thompson: Hitler was "hard working" as well.

"FOXTOID: I know. I played Wolfenstein. He was a busy man."

OH shit. Hahahahahhahaha
Excremento's Avatar
Excremento at 04/01/2008 12:06

Jack Thompson is a crusader and a true American citizen, I had dinner with him the other night at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse and we discussed our mutual friends and love we have for Jesus. Shame on the video game industry for making this man feel marginalized!
Velt's Avatar
Velt at 04/01/2008 12:06

Foxtoid is helping me get rid of videogames... foxtoid and the church of loving jesus. I was deeply involved playing videogames all day and all night, i forget that the church wants me to do something productive... like rape childrens. Now I rape kids instead of playing videogames.

Thank you Jack Thompson, thank you Foxtoid.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 04/01/2008 12:07

Where has Jacko been anyway? Busy trolling another site?
Samit Sarkar's Avatar
Samit Sarkar at 04/01/2008 12:09

Thank Jesus that we have Jack Thompson at the vanguard of the anti-videogame movement.
AgentMOO's Avatar
AgentMOO at 04/01/2008 12:09

No means no, Mr. Thompson!
SuitcoatAvenger's Avatar
SuitcoatAvenger at 04/01/2008 12:24

I swear, the LIBERAL MEDIA just likes to stick it to us GOD FEARING AMERICANS who only want to protect our children from violence and vaginas. I FIND IT REPULSIVE AND DISGUSTING THAT PEOPLE WOULD INSULT THIS CRUSADER OF GOD-ARMOR. AMERICA.

RONALD REAGAN.
MisterMingo's Avatar
MisterMingo at 04/01/2008 12:30

"Jack Thompson is a marvelous man! His actions against video games to protect our children (an absolutely NOT to further his own career) should be rewarded. Hell, I'm to busy drinking wild turkey and cheating on my wife with transvestites to keep up with what my kids are doing. If he won't protect my children from the evils of society, who will? God bless you, Jack Thompson!"

Mr. Mingo was then arrested for having sex with other men. He will face the death penalty.
pendelton21's Avatar
pendelton21 at 04/01/2008 12:34

Thank God you fine chaps interviewed this great man. I need to know constantly what this great American citizen thinks at all times.
king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 04/01/2008 12:37

JOURNALISM has been done here this day.
Vigor's Avatar
Vigor at 04/01/2008 12:39

An hero!
Release82's Avatar
Release82 at 04/01/2008 12:59

Mr. Tompson should be KNIGHTED! For his years of work defending the globe.

Bravo sir.
timepants's Avatar
timepants at 04/01/2008 13:16

PRAISE WHITE JESUS for heroes like Jack Thompson that protect the freedom of the world.
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 04/01/2008 13:28

God's chosen warrior! Save us all!
solarmystic's Avatar
solarmystic at 04/01/2008 13:40

Praise Be His Name-AH!!!!
Cheeburga's Avatar
Cheeburga at 04/01/2008 13:51

WOOOT!
Howward's Avatar
Howward at 04/01/2008 13:58

Jack Thompson is ALL man. Maybe if there was less Liberals and more people like Jack and Robert Mugabe things would get done.
tkyy's Avatar
tkyy at 04/01/2008 15:00

This interview comes too late. You should interview him when he was still a kid and his parents beat him to every game he played.
Vitamin Awesome's Avatar
Vitamin Awesome at 04/01/2008 15:11

Thank god for Brave young men like Jack Thompson!
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar
deiga-the-semivaliant at 04/01/2008 16:22

Jack Thompson is my hero. I named my firstborn after him.
Fleet3000's Avatar
Fleet3000 at 04/01/2008 17:39

wow.

also, WTF?
Artix Lumin's Avatar
Artix Lumin at 04/01/2008 18:22

This is my witty comment!
NegFactor's Avatar
NegFactor at 04/01/2008 18:59

Jack Thompson is the working man's Chuck Norris.
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 04/01/2008 22:46

The thing is, I can't tell the difference between a real email and a fake one when it comes to Jack Thompson.
Eschatos's Avatar
Eschatos at 04/01/2008 23:53

He should start his own RELIGION. I shall be a Thompsonite!
PetiePal's Avatar
PetiePal at 04/02/2008 09:39

The best part is jack keeps dreams alive for all 5 year olds who think they can't handle ever being a lawyer.
HarassmentPanda's Avatar
HarassmentPanda at 04/02/2008 11:35

BEEDOG keeps it REAL.

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