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Jack Thompson is a familiar name to regular FOXTOID readers. He's our school shootings expert, as well as our men's grooming columnist and yogurt correspondent. A few weeks ago, I caught up with the silver haired lothario to talk about a few of his favorite things. What he said to me has never before been considered good enough to publish, but this is FOXTOID, where quality comes second! Hit the jump for the official FOXTOID interview with Jack Thompson (based on an actual email exchange actually had in actual February. Actually)! FOXTOID: What is your favorite videogame?
Thompson: Kill All the Gamers. It's a great game
FOXTOID: I've not heard of that one. Is it on Xbox 360?
Thompson: Uh huh. love it
FOXTOID: Interesting. So would you say that aggravating gamers is more satisfying than protecting children?
Thompson: They're one in the same. I'm sorry you haven't figured that out
FOXTOID: Don't apologize, it's okay Jack Thompson.
If you could choose between letting one child buy Grand Theft Auto, or eating one thousand eggs, what would you choose?
Thompson: I'm not apologizing, but you should.
FOXTOID: I'm sorry that I take your insults toward hard working developers to heart, Jack Thompson. [Editor's note -- FOXTOID was joking here. We love insulting game developers really]
Thompson: Hitler was "hard working" as well.
FOXTOID: I know. I played Wolfenstein. He was a busy man.
So do you believe game developers support the systematic extermination of Jews?
Thompson: So, what controlled substance are you on this morning?
FOXTOID: This morning I have been melting down glass and huffing the fumes.
What about you Jack? A bit early in the day for the crack cocaine I imagine. Just a nice tall glass of OJ?
Thompson: Legal Department
MSNBC on the Internet
One Microsoft Way
Redmond, WA 98052
Re: False and Defamatory Assault by MSNBC on Jack Thompson
Dear Legal Department:
Your “contributor” Winda Benedetti has now twice falsely defamed me on behalf of MSNBC.com, and I intend to bring a civil action in state court in Florida for libel.
See http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18220228/ and http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23204875/.
In the latter hit piece, which runs today, Benedetti and MSNBC have excluded from this crazed and libelous screed the comments from me that she said she wanted, which deletion, of course, helps make the “actual malice” point.
Finally, but not exhaustively, NBC News apparently did not consider me a shameless “self-promoter” when it had me on the Today Show and NBC Nightly News I believe a total of ten times. But once my criticism began to inconvenience Bill Gates’ NBC partner, Microsoft, (MSNBC.com is a 50/50 partnership) then all of a sudden I’m the Anti-Christ. Even Chris Matthews recently got in on the fun.
A jury is going to love this libel action, and I’m going to love wading through Microsoft’s files about Jack Thompson. I’m interviewing lawyers for the purpose of bringing the action. Please contact me as soon as possible.
Regards, Jack Thompson
FOXTOID: That's awesome. Do you think you are going to win? So what did we learn from all this? We learned that Jack Thompson is a hero and an all-American who is defending the rights of children everywhere. God bless you, Thompson. God bless you, America.
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66 comments + 37100 views
yes!
Jack Thompson is my all time favorite person. He should be in a videogame.
Jack is an hero.
Surely you would never spy Geraldo Beedog interviewing Jack Thompson. Geraldo Beedog has STANDARDS. And ETHICS. And the battery in his phone is almost dead.
Because JOURNALISM.
I condone this article.
That is such a heart warming smile.
FoxToid is the best thing that happened to me today.
Unless I find a cigarette that wasnt completly smoked on the pavement. Which would make FoxToid 2nd next best thing.
If more Americans were true patriots like Jack Thompson, this country would be a better place. Jack Thompson respects our flag and God and is fighting the REAL war on terror - the war against the liberal media.
Jack Thompson is a hero. He is to videogames as I am to the Latino community.
"Thompson: Hitler was "hard working" as well.
"FOXTOID: I know. I played Wolfenstein. He was a busy man."
OH shit. Hahahahahhahaha
Jack Thompson is a crusader and a true American citizen, I had dinner with him the other night at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse and we discussed our mutual friends and love we have for Jesus. Shame on the video game industry for making this man feel marginalized!
Foxtoid is helping me get rid of videogames... foxtoid and the church of loving jesus. I was deeply involved playing videogames all day and all night, i forget that the church wants me to do something productive... like rape childrens. Now I rape kids instead of playing videogames.
Thank you Jack Thompson, thank you Foxtoid.
Where has Jacko been anyway? Busy trolling another site?
Thank Jesus that we have Jack Thompson at the vanguard of the anti-videogame movement.
No means no, Mr. Thompson!
I swear, the LIBERAL MEDIA just likes to stick it to us GOD FEARING AMERICANS who only want to protect our children from violence and vaginas. I FIND IT REPULSIVE AND DISGUSTING THAT PEOPLE WOULD INSULT THIS CRUSADER OF GOD-ARMOR. AMERICA.
RONALD REAGAN.
"Jack Thompson is a marvelous man! His actions against video games to protect our children (an absolutely NOT to further his own career) should be rewarded. Hell, I'm to busy drinking wild turkey and cheating on my wife with transvestites to keep up with what my kids are doing. If he won't protect my children from the evils of society, who will? God bless you, Jack Thompson!"
Mr. Mingo was then arrested for having sex with other men. He will face the death penalty.
Thank God you fine chaps interviewed this great man. I need to know constantly what this great American citizen thinks at all times.
JOURNALISM has been done here this day.
An hero!
Mr. Tompson should be KNIGHTED! For his years of work defending the globe.
Bravo sir.
PRAISE WHITE JESUS for heroes like Jack Thompson that protect the freedom of the world.
God's chosen warrior! Save us all!
Praise Be His Name-AH!!!!
WOOOT!
Jack Thompson is ALL man. Maybe if there was less Liberals and more people like Jack and Robert Mugabe things would get done.
This interview comes too late. You should interview him when he was still a kid and his parents beat him to every game he played.
Thank god for Brave young men like Jack Thompson!
Jack Thompson is my hero. I named my firstborn after him.
wow.
also, WTF?
This is my witty comment!
Jack Thompson is the working man's Chuck Norris.
The thing is, I can't tell the difference between a real email and a fake one when it comes to Jack Thompson.
He should start his own RELIGION. I shall be a Thompsonite!
The best part is jack keeps dreams alive for all 5 year olds who think they can't handle ever being a lawyer.
BEEDOG keeps it REAL.