Banj: The Stage Play

Banj · 09-03-2008, 08:22 AM

Stage lights come up to reveal a graveyard set with polystyrene gravestone props and leafless trees. Lot's of dry ice. Defused blue light behind rear curtain. Two men, dressed in rags, stand huddled together lighting their cigarettes from the same match.

Man 1: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."

Man 2: "Really, what's the name of his other leg?"

Man 1: "Banj."

Cue Tom Sawyer by Rush. Cue fireworks at front of stage. Cue Banj on Union Jack parachute prop dropping in on deus ex machina wearing aviators, a brown leather flight jacket, long white Biggles scarf, smoking a cigar and carrying a photo of him and Elvis high-fiving.

Group of ninjas enter stage left. Banj engages them with machine guns and unarmed combat. Group of large breasted chicks in underwear enter stage right. They huddle around Banj's legs looking longingly at him while he fires cowboy style six-shooters into the air laughing...

...fade to black

God, I'm fucking bored.

The GHost · 09-03-2008, 10:55 AM

Why the fuck has no one commented on this yet? Jesus christ, is there no one out there that appreciates legitimate theater anymore? Does no one recognize the desperate cry of the thespian yearning and struggling to do no more than express himself? Can we not all take a step back and apply the principles of this master work to our own lives?

If not, then aren't we no better than beasts?

craineum · 09-03-2008, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The GHost

Why the fuck has no one commented on this yet? Jesus christ, is there no one out there that appreciates legitimate theater anymore? Does no one recognize the desperate cry of the thespian yearning and struggling to do no more than express himself? Can we not all take a step back and apply the principles of this master work to our own lives?

If not, then aren't we no better than beasts?

No

Serpentish · 09-03-2008, 12:06 PM

I'm going to be downright honest here... it could have used a lot more tits.

Banj · 09-03-2008, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Serpentish

I'm going to be downright honest here... it could have used a lot more tits.

I was trying to make it semi-autobiographical and as close to the actual realities of my life as possible. I realise a compromise must be struck when adapting any media to the stage, however, I think I managed to retain my dignity, my integrity and my devotion to the advancement of the theatre.

blehman · 09-03-2008, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The GHost

Why the fuck has no one commented on this yet? Jesus christ, is there no one out there that appreciates legitimate theater anymore? Does no one recognize the desperate cry of the thespian yearning and struggling to do no more than express himself? Can we not all take a step back and apply the principles of this master work to our own lives?

If not, then aren't we no better than beasts?

A thesbian? But I thought Banj was a man?

craineum · 09-03-2008, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blehman

Quote:

Originally Posted by The GHost

Why the fuck has no one commented on this yet? Jesus christ, is there no one out there that appreciates legitimate theater anymore? Does no one recognize the desperate cry of the thespian yearning and struggling to do no more than express himself? Can we not all take a step back and apply the principles of this master work to our own lives?

If not, then aren't we no better than beasts?

A thesbian? But I thought Banj was a man?

He just plays one on stage.

pendelton21 · 09-03-2008, 05:08 PM

I see a Tony in your future!

Nebones · 09-03-2008, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Serpentish

I'm going to be downright honest here... it could have used a lot more tits.

Story of my life.

Mxyzptlk · 09-04-2008, 10:48 AM

What happens next?

Banj · 09-04-2008, 10:57 AM

Act 2 is a work in progress Mxy.

I've found myself with writers block after that rollercoaster ride opening scene packed with dizzying highs and scarey lows.

PwnyBownz · 09-04-2008, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pendelton21

I see a Tony in your future!

Confirmed gay. Isn't this the opening for Mama Mia?

Banj · 09-04-2008, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PwnyBownz

Quote:

Originally Posted by pendelton21

I see a Tony in your future!

Confirmed gay. Isn't this the opening for Mama Mia?

...and Hairspray, Rent, We Will Rock You and High School Musical 4: The Lockers Of Doom

PwnyBownz · 09-04-2008, 12:46 PM

Keep it going -

Lights Up

Banj, still in a moment of ecstatic triumph, revels in the fond caresses of many, many tits, only to find in that moment of brief darkness the supple wenches had been replaced with angry dwarf tax collectors. They swing at poor Banj's dice bag demanding to see his receipts for all the whores he's trying to claim on his tax return.

Banj: Blimey! Me ole jolly cock and nuts!

What happens next???

KyleGamgee · 09-04-2008, 12:57 PM

I would watch this.

I would try to get seats on the right side.

craineum · 09-04-2008, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PwnyBownz

What happens next???

I put on my robe and wizard hat

Banj · 09-04-2008, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PwnyBownz

Banj: Blimey! Me ole jolly cock and nuts!

Ha ha ha, I love you Pwny.

09-03-2008, 08:22 AM	#1
Banj is Offline [Level 10: Lobster Milkshake] Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: location, location Posts: 7,453	Banj: The Stage Play Stage lights come up to reveal a graveyard set with polystyrene gravestone props and leafless trees. Lot's of dry ice. Defused blue light behind rear curtain. Two men, dressed in rags, stand huddled together lighting their cigarettes from the same match. Man 1: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith." Man 2: "Really, what's the name of his other leg?" Man 1: "Banj." Cue Tom Sawyer by Rush. Cue fireworks at front of stage. Cue Banj on Union Jack parachute prop dropping in on deus ex machina wearing aviators, a brown leather flight jacket, long white Biggles scarf, smoking a cigar and carrying a photo of him and Elvis high-fiving. Group of ninjas enter stage left. Banj engages them with machine guns and unarmed combat. Group of large breasted chicks in underwear enter stage right. They huddle around Banj's legs looking longingly at him while he fires cowboy style six-shooters into the air laughing... ...fade to black God, I'm fucking bored.

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
A Hot Date With Banj At Mercy Hospital	Banj	The Bar	45	01-07-2009 03:18 AM
The Man Sticks It To Banj... No Lube	Banj	The Bar	81	12-08-2008 05:37 PM
Stage six is dead!! Alternatives? or should this be a blog?	Thornnn	The Bar	5	03-07-2008 12:20 PM
Banj's Sexy Music Quiz Round 2: Banj Harder	Banj	The Bar	32	12-13-2007 06:36 PM
Ghetto Cosplay: Banj Style	Banj	The Bar	47	09-25-2007 01:43 AM

home pc xbox 360 wii ps3 psp ds iphone	community videos forums meetup + play
Account Management Register Forums Posting Guide Forum Support Forum Dev Blog IRC New Posts

09-03-2008, 10:55 AM	#2
The GHost is Offline [Level 6: Robot] Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 1,064	Why the fuck has no one commented on this yet? Jesus christ, is there no one out there that appreciates legitimate theater anymore? Does no one recognize the desperate cry of the thespian yearning and struggling to do no more than express himself? Can we not all take a step back and apply the principles of this master work to our own lives? If not, then aren't we no better than beasts?

09-03-2008, 12:06 PM	#4
Serpentish is Offline [Level 10: Lobster Milkshake] Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: your mom's cooter Posts: 6,607	I'm going to be downright honest here... it could have used a lot more tits.

09-03-2008, 05:08 PM	#8
pendelton21 is Offline [Level 5: Mech] Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Bowling Green Posts: 473	I see a Tony in your future!

09-04-2008, 10:48 AM	#10
Mxyzptlk is Offline Moderator Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: The Internets Posts: 5,439	What happens next?

09-04-2008, 10:57 AM	#11
Banj is Offline [Level 10: Lobster Milkshake] Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: location, location Posts: 7,453	Act 2 is a work in progress Mxy. I've found myself with writers block after that rollercoaster ride opening scene packed with dizzying highs and scarey lows.

09-04-2008, 12:46 PM	#14
PwnyBownz is Offline [Level 5: Mech] Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 280	Keep it going - Lights Up Banj, still in a moment of ecstatic triumph, revels in the fond caresses of many, many tits, only to find in that moment of brief darkness the supple wenches had been replaced with angry dwarf tax collectors. They swing at poor Banj's dice bag demanding to see his receipts for all the whores he's trying to claim on his tax return. Banj: Blimey! Me ole jolly cock and nuts! What happens next???

09-04-2008, 12:57 PM	#15
KyleGamgee is Offline [Level 7: Sentinel] Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles County Posts: 2,064	I would watch this. I would try to get seats on the right side.