[Kauza]

So, I got the idea of having a massive thread of fun new status effects as walkyourpath and I were writing up this new post. No, I ain't pimping. I just wanted to have a good place to see everyone else's status effect ideas, and this seemed to be the best place! So let's get kicking.

No rules, just give your status effect a name and tell us what it does.

Here's one from the post to get things started. I don't want to copy pasta the whole post over here. Because blah.

Puberty: This status has a random chance of affecting younger party members and causes a variety of negative effects. As the affected party member's voice cracks, spells that rely on vocal recitation have a 50% chance of failing. The affected party member may randomly become enamored with party members or enemies of the opposite sex, causing them not to attack. A character with "puberty" may also randomly acquire the "fapping" status, which stops all battle actions until item "nude portrait of Carrot Top" is used. If two party members of the opposite sex are afflicted with "puberty" simultaneously, both have a random chance to get the "experimentation" status, causing them to disappear from battle for no more than two minutes. They will then acquire the "embarrassment" status, causing them to fight in different rows of the formation for five turns.

So, let's rock it, friends!

[Anonymouse]

Hmmmmmm...

Obesinated- You gain so much weight that you find it impossible to move.

[Frankenson]

Uhhhh.....they've all been taken....I'll think o' one

[Banj]

AIDS: Characters infected with AIDS recieve -25% to health restoration with +50% to any secondary blight damage, these figures increase by 1d6 per day. The player also recieves -1d20 to CHARISMA upon infection. Although AIDS is not reversable, the player recieves +5 KUDOS points for every other player he/she infects (players in a 6ft proximity of bladed combat must make a saving throw against infection everytime the player with AIDS takes damage) , upon reaching 50 KUDOS points the player is awarded the Strength Of Princess Diana perk with a +20 to any paparazzi related saving throws. If a group 10 or more played characters are infected with AIDS they can use the Awareness skill in combat that will raise all enemy combatants APATHY by 75%.

[MkShiranui]

Okay, I've got one, and it's actually beneficial.

Philisophical: Characters under this effect experience a rapid re-routing of their mental pathways, allowing them to quickly and easily assimilate abstract concepts. The character now has the option of either doubling or halving the effect divine magic has on them. "Effect" in this case refers to any numerical constant in the spell's description, such as damage dealt or healed, duration, or mana consumed. For example, a character under this effect may choose to double the damage healed from a Lesser Restoration spell, or instead may halve the duration of Bestow Curse.

[SenorDoucheoisie]

Boner: Occurs in battle whenever a female character joins a party of male characters (aka a sausagefest). All male characters adjacent to female character lose mobility, lowering speed by 25% and ATK Defense by 25%. In addition all male characters have a random chance of -100% accuracy, causing them to completely miss the opponent while trying to conceal erection. All items and healing/buff spells cast in battle defer automatically to the female character, and all attacks directed toward the female will be deflected by the males, in the hopes of scoring a shiny reward after the battle.

[ZombiePlatypus]

Eating Disorder- When the player is stricken with an eating disorder there is a seventy-five percent chance that they will refuse to eat potions or healing herbs, due to a fear of calories contain within. In the case that they do consume the items, there is a one in two chance that the items will be vomited up on the proceeding turn, cancelling out all of the health gained and draining an extra five percent of remaining health each turn for three turns due to gastric acid corrosion.

[the guy with the hat]

Being cool- simply having a cool character boosts all your speech skills and because cool people never die Your health bar never goes below 10%. did I do that right?

[MkShiranui]

Timestream Inversion: One of the most bizzare status effects to look at. It effectively reverses most normal physical constants in a region, causing, among other things, all color in the area to reverse. Its primary effect is to "stop" time, since the addition of a reverse timestream to the current one causes its flow to halt. Only the most limited actions are available while under this effect. Even breathing or speaking is exceptionally difficult. Like all effects, characters of Hero status suffer a reduced impact, and characters of Divine rank can potentially throw off the effect altogether.

(10 points if you can figure out where I got the idea. 50 points if you post a picture.)

[djnealb]

Cock-blocked: While the opponent who caused the status change (i.e. the cock-blocker) is still on the field, the affected will do 50% less damage to female opponents, take 50% more damage from females, and have 0% chance of charming them.
Twat-swatted: Same as Cock-blocked, but vice-versa on the genders.

[The-Excel]

Synesthesia: Afflicted character experiences random changes in visuals and sounds while active. However, all sights and noises are still valid and rendered properly.

[SpiralViper]

Diabetes - Oh wait Tales of Game's already did this

[Anonymouse]

Double Vision - You see double of each foe, therefore decreasing your accuracy by 50%.

That's probably already in a game so I'll think of another one.

[Jurgs]

Laziness: Afflicted character just can't be bothered, loses ability to attack,cast spells,defend, or use items. Also, dodge rate reduced by 60%

[MkShiranui]

Avarice: Attack -20%, chance for random treasure item +100%.

[The-Excel]

Tourette'sSyndrome: Afflicted character will randomly have their actions interrupted with a profane gesture, reducing the morale of the party. Magic-users are especially vulnerable to this.
UnLucky: Afflicted character does 0 damage on all non-critical hits and double damage on all critical hits (with a 16.5% chance of some damage reflected to character).
AdrenalinRush: Afflicted character takes no damage for 4 turns, but all accumulated damage during those turns will apply after status clears or when battle ends. Can result in incapacitation.
RocketMe: Afflicted character will shoot into the sky on a firework rocket and explode 2 turns after contraction. Results in incapacitation.
FleshWound: Afflicted character's maximum HP is halved. Stackable; changes are reverted when cleared. Can be cleared only by rest.
Overworked: Afflicted character will spontaneously drain MP to constantly heal own damage. Clears after battle.
BoomThereYouGo: Afflicted character is solely targeted by all enemies.

[CelicaCrazed]

Face-palm: Player witnesses something so stupid that they face-palm and miss their turn. 10% decrease to intelligence and 25% increase to ego. Enemy's self-confidence decreases 30%.

Emo: Player replaces all clothing with black robes and unequips armor and shield. 50% chance player cries and misses turn, dealing 5% damage to self or 50% chance player recites a poem from the depths of their soul, causing 25 points of self-inflicted damage to everyone on the battlefield. Additionally, 15% chance of teammate face-palming and 15% chance of turning enemy emo as well. 2% chance player ends their pain via suicide.

[statesman1114]

statesman1114 syndrome - get insulted a lot, annoy Techno, almost die in the ensuing boss battle.

[jhitcher42]

Existentialism: Intelligence related skills up 50%, physical skills down 40%. Cannot perform any actions until shaken out of the state by loud or distracting music. Skill changes last for 5 turns after loss of state.

[JT IceFire]

Vampire (Twilight): Target gains +2 sparkle points, and automatic crit rolls to Charm (Unpopular Teenage Girls). Target loses the ability to do anything interesting.
Vampire (Old World of Darkness): Target triples in all stats, and may ignore all urges to actually drink the blood of the living unless it is dramatically convenient.
Vampire (New World of Darkness): Target's Charisma drops by 5, as his only topic of speech is how much it sucks to be a vampire.
Confusion: Target develops the inability to make sense of his own actions or the world around him. Caused by viewing End of Evangelion.
Paranoia: Target sees through the looking-glass and understands that the entire world is really out to get him. Cured by using Television.
Schizophrenia: Target attacks twice each turn.
Schizophasia: Target microwaves the left blue accordion, disless he booms quick swamp mulligans. +pi to Blastworks.
Alzheimer's: Target forgot something! Target's Sp. Def raised sharply!
Stupid: Can't be fixed.