Behold, teaser footage of the world's first XNA-developed title, Torpex's Schizoid. Due to be officially debuted at Microsoft's GameFest 2007, Torpex seems very high on what visually makes me think of Smash TV crossed with Geometry Wars. Touting it as possibly "the ultimate co-op game," and going so far as to call it a "phenomenon" before anybody's even had a hands-on with the thing, Torpex wildly claims that, "if you and a friend spend two minutes playing Schizoid, you are going to ignore food, drink, your job and your family and play until they load you up on a gurney and head to the hospital. Schizoid is that rare game that comes along once every few years and we are very proud to make it our first release for Xbox LIVE Arcade."
What the Hell!? That's the most insane, self-fellating wad of hype I've ever seen in a single paragraph, and I've read paragraphs written by Nintendo. Apparently that's Schizoid though, the second coming of the bloody Messiah if Torpex is to be believed. I also heard that it is made of enchanted fairy dandruff and will increase the size of your unit to fifty-eight million inches. Hit the jump for more from the most smug and self-assured press release you'll read today. They've got be kidding me, right?
Prepare To Go SchizoidTM!
TORPEX GAMES DEBUTS SCHIZOIDTM FOR Xbox LIVE® Arcade AT MICROSOFT'S GAMEFEST 2007
Schizoid is First Xbox LIVE Arcade Title Built Using Microsoft's XNA Game Studio Express
BELLEVUE, Wash. – August 13, 2007 – The next game genre is here! Torpex Games, a developer and publisher of addictive console games, announced today the upcoming release of Schizoid™ for Xbox LIVE® Arcade and will showcase the game during Microsoft's GameFest 2007. Possibly the ultimate co-op game, Schizoid is an action game where teamwork equals survival and players must team up to protect each other from a seemingly endless stream of glowing enemies. Schizoid will be the first-ever Xbox LIVE Arcade title built using Microsoft's XNA Game Studio Express, and is anticipated to be released before the end of 2007.
"Every few years a game will come out that is so simple, yet so addictive that it becomes a phenomenon unto itself," says Bill Dugan, Torpex Games' President. "We truly believe that if you and a friend spend two minutes playing Schizoid, you are going to ignore food, drink, your job and your family and play until they load you up on a gurney and head to the hospital. Schizoid is that rare game that comes along once every few years and we are very proud to make it our first release for Xbox LIVE Arcade."
Featuring addictively simple gameplay, in Schizoid one person plays 'red' and the other plays 'blue'. Each player moves his ship around the level as a seemingly endless stream of enemies attack. Each player can burst enemies of their own color merely through contact, but each player can be bursted by enemies of the other color. Both players have to "step up" on every level to handle the enemies of their own color, so their partner is not destroyed.
"There are literally thousands of games released every year and yet very few of them have the originality of Schizoid. It's amazing to me that this game hasn't been invented before now," says Dave Mitchell, Microsoft's Director of Marketing for XNA. "Schizoid demonstrates that developers can really unleash an ingenious game with XNA Game Studio Express."
Bryan Trussel, Microsoft's Director of Platform Game Services, added, "Schizoid combines a very fun and innovative game mechanic with really creative level design. Thanks to its cooperative game-play experience and variety of scenarios, Schizoid is a great game to play with friends, either on the couch or over Xbox Live. We're delighted to exclusively add this creative and unique game to our incredible Xbox LIVE Arcade library."
Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize.
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I think you guys are missing the point. Any company that doesn't take themselves seriously, as these obviously don't, is something special. I mean, having to wheeled out on a gurney! That's freaking sweet!
Make a riduculous press statement, create more buzz than would be generated than normal (even with the XNA premier). get the internets a-buzz, rake in the cash
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Contest:
11:44 AM on 08.13.2007
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Your avi = EPIC WIN
Make a riduculous press statement, create more buzz than would be generated than normal (even with the XNA premier). get the internets a-buzz, rake in the cash
Genius.
Probably cost like three bucks to make as well. If this does sell well, I think I'll be grabbing XNA as soon as possible. :-D
I think I heard this from the show code monkeys and it applies here quite well..
"I can crap better games than that"
it does seem alot more like gauntlet. I got a job at Chuck e Cheese just so I could get thousands of tokens to throw into that thing.
YIFF IN HELL FURFAG!!!