All signs point to the upcoming film, G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra, being a miserable disaster. Rumor is that the film received the lowest scores ever in the history of Paramount during a recently private test screening. Ouch.

The Electronic Arts game on the other hand, I suppose we could give a pass to… provided it’s at least a relatively entertaining action game, right? I mean, I like Snake-Eyes and I like Storm Shadow, and I wouldn’t mind kicking ass with either of the two. If the game is even slightly fun, of course.

Well, it looks like EA is bribing gamers with nostalgia. The publisher has announced that the game will feature a number of unlockables, including four of the classic PSA’s from the original 80’s cartoon series. Additionally, 75 file cards – modeled after the ones you used to cut out from the action figure boxes -- will be scattered throughout the game. Oh, and there’s some behind-the-scenes stuff included, too.

Does that save G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra? That remains to be seen; I’m still not over what they’re doing to Cobra Commander. I mean, that’s not Cobra Commander, okay? This is Cobra Commander. Seriously.

G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra is slated to hit every console ever this August, including Xbox 360, PlayStation, Wii, PlayStation 3, Nintendo DS, PlayStation Portable, and mobile phones.