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Finding is half the battle in upcoming G.I. Joe game photo

All signs point to the upcoming film, G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra, being a miserable disaster. Rumor is that the film received the lowest scores ever in the history of Paramount during a recently private test screening. Ouch.

The Electronic Arts game on the other hand, I suppose we could give a pass to… provided it’s at least a relatively entertaining action game, right? I mean, I like Snake-Eyes and I like Storm Shadow, and I wouldn’t mind kicking ass with either of the two. If the game is even slightly fun, of course.

Well, it looks like EA is bribing gamers with nostalgia. The publisher has announced that the game will feature a number of unlockables, including four of the classic PSA’s from the original 80’s cartoon series. Additionally, 75 file cards – modeled after the ones you used to cut out from the action figure boxes -- will be scattered throughout the game. Oh, and there’s some behind-the-scenes stuff included, too.

Does that save G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra? That remains to be seen; I’m still not over what they’re doing to Cobra Commander. I mean, that’s not Cobra Commander, okay? This is Cobra Commander. Seriously.

G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra is slated to hit every console ever this August, including Xbox 360, PlayStation, Wii, PlayStation 3, Nintendo DS, PlayStation Portable, and mobile phones. 

LAUNCH GALLERY (1 IMAGES)
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16 comments | showing # 1 to 16
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Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 17:28
Holyetheline
I look forward to this sucking.
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 17:36
EternalDeathSlayer
After seeing that picture of Cobra Commander, I had to check and make sure this wasn't being directed by Uwe Boll.

Are they serious?
20 Sided Death's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 17:44
20 Sided Death
The way the coils on the action figure go from his chest to his head and the coat he wears make him look more like serpentor than cobra commander.

I knew this movie was gonna suck but i didn't want to believe it. At least Optimus Prime is still a Big Rig and has the same basic coloring. They may as well have invented a new cobra leader for this movie. Boo paramount. I boycott your movie.
Kyousuke Nanbu's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 18:10
Kyousuke Nanbu
Haven't you guys seen any trailers or kept up with G.I. Joe news?

They don't even fight normally, they wear accelerator suits which makes them faster, yes that's right, its not elite soldiers fighting, its elite soldiers wearing retarded looking suits that makes them faster.

This movie is gonna be so fucking horrible, I can't wait to see how bad it is.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 18:43
MrSadistic
Help computa.
Krayven's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 18:47
Krayven
Hey kids, ah y'know it's funny. These people they go to sleep, they think everything's fine, everything's good. Then they wake up the next day and they're on fire.
Drack48's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 18:47
Drack48
@sadistic: Pork chop Sandwichs!
Wedge's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 19:13
Wedge
Damn, he looks like some half-assed luchador now.
Pichu0102's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 19:25
Pichu0102
Don't look at me while I'm talking to you!

Give him the stick...

DON'T. GIVE HIM. THE STICK.
Kraid's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 19:35
Kraid
A dun no much'bout comuptas othedan othedan the one at mah mum's house she put couple games on it and 'et me play dem.
DF's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 20:04
DF
@Im OK: Damn you! I wanted to do that one. XD

Fi-fu-fu-fi-fi-fire! :(
bastardmaster's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 20:17
bastardmaster
childhood 100% raped. on the plus side i'll be on that YOJOE.com for the next 284 hours
Blasto's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 20:59
Blasto
Wow, why must they change what people love. I had no idea they had changed the characters and concept so much for the movie. Fuck those responsible for this atrocity. Autobots are all Chevys and Cobra Commander looks like a sci-fi Army of Two reject...what the fuck man.
DF's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 21:07
DF
@Blasto: Transformers 2 is a blockbuster (and hasn't been seen very highly around here). General Motors is hanging by a thread. Coincidence?! =P
ikiryou's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2009 21:36
ikiryou
I'm not expecting this film to win an Oscar. It's supposed to be bad. The cartoon was bad. The only awesome thing about G.I.Joe was...The Baroness. Only time will tell if Sienna Miller, with brunette hair instead of black hair, will live up to the awesomeness that is...The Baroness.
Pray with me, children, pray with me...

poonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/27/2009 03:22
poonster
i saw the trailers for the film and it looks like every other special effect pre-fab crap.Hollywood has no originality anymore,the film looks like Iron Man Transformers meets the watchmen.
i will defiantly be skipping the Gi Blow movie.
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