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Final Fantasy XIII's lesbian bike is ... emotional photo

You may have heard of Final Fantasy XIII's version of Shiva by now. The classic FF summon now turns into a motorbike by being two flamboyant women who kind of scissor each other to become a motorcycle. I really want to call it a "Motordyke," but I fear that would be offensive to lesbian gamers, for whom I have nothing but sincere respect. Still, that's the best pun you'll read this morning.

As you can see from the above image, Shiva's "Gestalt" mode takes the idea of the Transformer and does something ... confusing ... with it. Quite how either of those two women are enjoying this situation is beyond me, but as you can see, at least one of them has a smile on her face. I don't know about the other poor girl, since the's the unlucky lady who has to stare at that guy's arse all day. 

Square Enix is known for its outrageous character designs, but this scissor sister motorbike has to be among their most ludicrous. Now I want to ride it.


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51 comments | showing # 1 to 50

Jon B's Avatar
Jon B at 06/15/2009 11:43
Motordyke literally had me fighting back tears of laughter.

However, I fucking want that bike. Or that bike wants a fucking. Either way, I approve.
MrSadistic's Avatar
MrSadistic at 06/15/2009 11:43
I don't care how much it will cost for a irl motordyke, I want one right now.
JoZo's Avatar
JoZo at 06/15/2009 11:46
Comfortable breast cushions to support back? LOL
JoZo's Avatar
JoZo at 06/15/2009 11:46
DO WANT BECAUSE OF FF AWESOMNESS
SuitcoatAvenger's Avatar
SuitcoatAvenger at 06/15/2009 11:48
Oh shit. Motordyke? Hello, new meme.
ceark's Avatar
ceark at 06/15/2009 11:48
... wow
my mind is blown.
etirflita's Avatar
etirflita at 06/15/2009 11:49
Just grab those handlebars and pray you don't fall off, amirite?
Shiva's always been that summon you look at and wonder if summons ever get lonely, but I guess this answers that.
Black Nexus's Avatar
Black Nexus at 06/15/2009 11:53
Soooo how long do we have to wait for this again?
Phoenix Gamma's Avatar
Phoenix Gamma at 06/15/2009 11:53
Maybe she's into a little ass to face? I won't judge.

Still, my ideal three-way is totally with a motorcycle, so I'm jealous.
sickNasty's Avatar
sickNasty at 06/15/2009 11:54
This is a perfect example of why I will never be able to get into a Final Fantasy game.
KaRiL's Avatar
KaRiL at 06/15/2009 11:56
Scissor me timbers!
Vedicardi2's Avatar
Vedicardi2 at 06/15/2009 11:57
that's the weirdest thing I've seen in ages jesus christ
Mr Wrighty 987's Avatar
Mr Wrighty 987 at 06/15/2009 12:00
Maybe fap, i dont know yet
ThunderHeartXI's Avatar
ThunderHeartXI at 06/15/2009 12:00
Motordyke... Oh my...
Reien's Avatar
Reien at 06/15/2009 12:03
@sickNasty

You couldn't be more right. I think I'm done with Final Fantasy now.
Shin Oni's Avatar
Shin Oni at 06/15/2009 12:03
you know looking at it, Shiva this time around is more of a Persona design if anything...

Still she looks hawt.
Fanatism's Avatar
Fanatism at 06/15/2009 12:10





*crosses fingers for not image fail*
mOnion's Avatar
mOnion at 06/15/2009 12:15
Squeee you guys are so silly

i have a serious case of FF fanboyism? and even I think this is a little strange...
the shiva bike was cool before, now it's like, awkward, did any say that during the design process?
has anyone at squeee watched porn? i mean really this one's so easy
face in crotch, face in butt

it's like a weird kama sutra...shiva sutra....O_o
flabzilla's Avatar
flabzilla at 06/15/2009 12:15
Ha ha wow, thats awesome.
Naim Master's Avatar
Naim Master at 06/15/2009 12:17
I wonder where you're supposed to put the gas ...
Phallus Knife Fight's Avatar
Phallus Knife Fight at 06/15/2009 12:19
still waiting for Ifrit scissoring. As long as the balls don't touch...
benjaxez's Avatar
benjaxez at 06/15/2009 12:21
I dont know what to think...

although good call on the golden boy reference! haha thats exactly what i thought
Firestorm2117's Avatar
Firestorm2117 at 06/15/2009 12:21
I used to love the art direction for SE games...

And, I still do. This bike rocks.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar
AngelsDontBurn at 06/15/2009 12:23
That's pretty retarded in my opinion.
Tyson The Tool's Avatar
Tyson The Tool at 06/15/2009 12:28
Perfect example of why I stopped playing FF games after VII. Too much kooky shit for me
GoldenGamerXero's Avatar
GoldenGamerXero at 06/15/2009 12:28
I can imagine it now

Hey pussy! You got a bit of chocobo on your motordyke!
flabzilla's Avatar
flabzilla at 06/15/2009 12:31
Some people here take games way to seriously.
TJF588's Avatar
TJF588 at 06/15/2009 12:35
http://member.square-enix.com/na/features/e309/titles/merch.php

Behold, for you, too, can has Shivaz in 'toy' form.
Xhumation's Avatar
Xhumation at 06/15/2009 12:58
Motordyke?

Thank you Mr. Sterling I was having a shitty day and this made me really laugh
atastysammich's Avatar
atastysammich at 06/15/2009 13:03
Your move, Blood of Bahamut Shiva.
mesoblasian's Avatar
mesoblasian at 06/15/2009 13:14
I think they're doing this to see how far cosplayers will go
mix's Avatar
mix at 06/15/2009 13:29
2 rides in one!
Soulwax's Avatar
Soulwax at 06/15/2009 14:07
I bet the US government are really regretting dropping those nukes on Japan.
Syn's Avatar
Syn at 06/15/2009 14:10
I dunno, wouldn't you feel important if you were flying down the road with your package cradled by two goddesses?
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 06/15/2009 14:16
I wonder if anybody would be dedicated enough to build a working replica.
Niero's Avatar
Niero at 06/15/2009 14:17
Somebody somewhere is already making one of these in real life, guaranteed.
Numpty's Avatar
Numpty at 06/15/2009 14:47
Would ride.

(Don't tell me for a second you wouldn't!)

Motordyke wins the meme of the day, btw. Well done, sir.
Brock Samson's Avatar
Brock Samson at 06/15/2009 14:50
I am now going to say motordyke to everyone I know and act like I made it up.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar
AngelsDontBurn at 06/15/2009 15:05
@flabzilla: It's not that anyone is taking it too seriously, they probably just think the design is pretty wack / random. Doesn't seem very Final Fantasy like at all, well, artwork-wise at least. But then again I was never a big Final Fantasy fan to begin with. This bike made me lol though.

@Niero: I believe it and would NOT doubt it.
TheBigFeel's Avatar
TheBigFeel at 06/15/2009 15:16
You ever take that dyke off any sweet jumps? like, over sharks?
ikiryou's Avatar
ikiryou at 06/15/2009 15:25
Perhaps inspired a little by one of the tables in the Kurova milk bar of A Clockwork Orange? Check the slighty NSFW design at http://www.phinnweb.org/links/cinema/directors/kubrick/pic/korova1.jpg .
Micorku's Avatar
Micorku at 06/15/2009 15:56
@Niero: If there is any justice in this world someone is
HiddenAHB's Avatar
HiddenAHB at 06/15/2009 16:35
Sexy, but too awkward for a FF game.
I want my virgin bikes again...
sohnvonben's Avatar
sohnvonben at 06/15/2009 16:45
hmmm...... I wonder how much someone would pay for a dyke like that....
B-Radicate's Avatar
B-Radicate at 06/15/2009 18:45
@mesolesbian: Totally AGREE.
Gyrael's Avatar
Gyrael at 06/15/2009 21:22
mesoblasian at 06/15/2009 13:14
I think they're doing this to see how far cosplayers will go

I sure hope so.
Xarias's Avatar
Xarias at 06/15/2009 23:48
Makes you wonder what some of the other summons might end up like... *crosses fingers for Siren to be in the game*

The motordyke kind of reminds me of that bike they had on South Park, but the opposite. Instead of the bike violating you, you violate the bike. And it likes it.
Sir Unimaginative's Avatar
Sir Unimaginative at 06/16/2009 01:03
Mecha-shiva! Mecha-shiva!

(To be fair, though, this is pretty ridiculous design even for Squeenix. Probably won't stop me from buying it, but jeez.)
njsykora's Avatar
njsykora at 06/16/2009 02:41
Given that Shiva is also the name of a Hindu god, I'm fully expecting the shit to hit the fan over this one.
Holiday's Avatar
Holiday at 06/16/2009 07:56
I'll see your Lesbo Motorcycle and raise you a Penis Chariot!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZEq6DG9ZP4
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