games  anime  |  toys
Destructoid is gaming news, community, videos, and sometimes love. Take the tour or jump in with Facebook:

 


Final Fantasy XIII's lesbian bike is ... emotional photo

You may have heard of Final Fantasy XIII's version of Shiva by now. The classic FF summon now turns into a motorbike by being two flamboyant women who kind of scissor each other to become a motorcycle. I really want to call it a "Motordyke," but I fear that would be offensive to lesbian gamers, for whom I have nothing but sincere respect. Still, that's the best pun you'll read this morning.

As you can see from the above image, Shiva's "Gestalt" mode takes the idea of the Transformer and does something ... confusing ... with it. Quite how either of those two women are enjoying this situation is beyond me, but as you can see, at least one of them has a smile on her face. I don't know about the other poor girl, since the's the unlucky lady who has to stare at that guy's arse all day. 

Square Enix is known for its outrageous character designs, but this scissor sister motorbike has to be among their most ludicrous. Now I want to ride it.


LAUNCH GALLERY (1 IMAGES)
Photo
 

Continue: More Square Enix stories





prev next 50 comments

51 comments | showing # 1 to 50

Jon B's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 11:43
Jon B
Motordyke literally had me fighting back tears of laughter.

However, I fucking want that bike. Or that bike wants a fucking. Either way, I approve.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 11:43
MrSadistic
I don't care how much it will cost for a irl motordyke, I want one right now.
JoZo's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 11:46
JoZo
Comfortable breast cushions to support back? LOL
JoZo's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 11:46
JoZo
DO WANT BECAUSE OF FF AWESOMNESS
SuitcoatAvenger's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 11:48
SuitcoatAvenger
Oh shit. Motordyke? Hello, new meme.
ceark's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 11:48
ceark
... wow
my mind is blown.
etirflita's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 11:49
etirflita
Just grab those handlebars and pray you don't fall off, amirite?
Shiva's always been that summon you look at and wonder if summons ever get lonely, but I guess this answers that.
Black Nexus's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 11:53
Black Nexus
Soooo how long do we have to wait for this again?
Phoenix Gamma's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 11:53
Phoenix Gamma
Maybe she's into a little ass to face? I won't judge.

Still, my ideal three-way is totally with a motorcycle, so I'm jealous.
sickNasty's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 11:54
sickNasty
This is a perfect example of why I will never be able to get into a Final Fantasy game.
KaRiL's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 11:56
KaRiL
Scissor me timbers!
Vedicardi2's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 11:57
Vedicardi2
that's the weirdest thing I've seen in ages jesus christ
Mr Wrighty 987's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:00
Mr Wrighty 987
Maybe fap, i dont know yet
ThunderHeartXI's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:00
ThunderHeartXI
Motordyke... Oh my...
Reien's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:03
Reien
@sickNasty

You couldn't be more right. I think I'm done with Final Fantasy now.
Shin Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:03
Shin Oni
you know looking at it, Shiva this time around is more of a Persona design if anything...

Still she looks hawt.
Fanatism's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:10
Fanatism





*crosses fingers for not image fail*
mOnion's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:15
mOnion
Squeee you guys are so silly

i have a serious case of FF fanboyism? and even I think this is a little strange...
the shiva bike was cool before, now it's like, awkward, did any say that during the design process?
has anyone at squeee watched porn? i mean really this one's so easy
face in crotch, face in butt

it's like a weird kama sutra...shiva sutra....O_o
flabzilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:15
flabzilla
Ha ha wow, thats awesome.
Naim Master's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:17
Naim Master
I wonder where you're supposed to put the gas ...
Phallus Knife Fight's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:19
Phallus Knife Fight
still waiting for Ifrit scissoring. As long as the balls don't touch...
benjaxez's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:21
benjaxez
I dont know what to think...

although good call on the golden boy reference! haha thats exactly what i thought
Firestorm2117's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:21
Firestorm2117
I used to love the art direction for SE games...

And, I still do. This bike rocks.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:23
AngelsDontBurn
That's pretty retarded in my opinion.
Tyson The Tool's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:28
Tyson The Tool
Perfect example of why I stopped playing FF games after VII. Too much kooky shit for me
GoldenGamerXero's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:28
GoldenGamerXero
I can imagine it now

Hey pussy! You got a bit of chocobo on your motordyke!
flabzilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:31
flabzilla
Some people here take games way to seriously.
TJF588's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:35
TJF588
http://member.square-enix.com/na/features/e309/titles/merch.php

Behold, for you, too, can has Shivaz in 'toy' form.
Xhumation's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 12:58
Xhumation
Motordyke?

Thank you Mr. Sterling I was having a shitty day and this made me really laugh
atastysammich's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 13:03
atastysammich
Your move, Blood of Bahamut Shiva.
mesoblasian's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 13:14
mesoblasian
I think they're doing this to see how far cosplayers will go
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 13:29
mix
2 rides in one!
Soulwax's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 14:07
Soulwax
I bet the US government are really regretting dropping those nukes on Japan.
Syn's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 14:10
Syn
I dunno, wouldn't you feel important if you were flying down the road with your package cradled by two goddesses?
Dexter345's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 14:16
Dexter345
I wonder if anybody would be dedicated enough to build a working replica.
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 14:17
Niero
Somebody somewhere is already making one of these in real life, guaranteed.
Numpty's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 14:47
Numpty
Would ride.

(Don't tell me for a second you wouldn't!)

Motordyke wins the meme of the day, btw. Well done, sir.
Brock Samson's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 14:50
Brock Samson
I am now going to say motordyke to everyone I know and act like I made it up.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 15:05
AngelsDontBurn
@flabzilla: It's not that anyone is taking it too seriously, they probably just think the design is pretty wack / random. Doesn't seem very Final Fantasy like at all, well, artwork-wise at least. But then again I was never a big Final Fantasy fan to begin with. This bike made me lol though.

@Niero: I believe it and would NOT doubt it.
TheBigFeel's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 15:16
TheBigFeel
You ever take that dyke off any sweet jumps? like, over sharks?
ikiryou's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 15:25
ikiryou
Perhaps inspired a little by one of the tables in the Kurova milk bar of A Clockwork Orange? Check the slighty NSFW design at http://www.phinnweb.org/links/cinema/directors/kubrick/pic/korova1.jpg .
Micorku's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 15:56
Micorku
@Niero: If there is any justice in this world someone is
HiddenAHB's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 16:35
HiddenAHB
Sexy, but too awkward for a FF game.
I want my virgin bikes again...
sohnvonben's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 16:45
sohnvonben
hmmm...... I wonder how much someone would pay for a dyke like that....
B-Radicate's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 18:45
B-Radicate
@mesolesbian: Totally AGREE.
Gyrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 21:22
Gyrael
mesoblasian at 06/15/2009 13:14
I think they're doing this to see how far cosplayers will go

I sure hope so.
Xarias's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/15/2009 23:48
Xarias
Makes you wonder what some of the other summons might end up like... *crosses fingers for Siren to be in the game*

The motordyke kind of reminds me of that bike they had on South Park, but the opposite. Instead of the bike violating you, you violate the bike. And it likes it.
Sir Unimaginative's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 01:03
Sir Unimaginative
Mecha-shiva! Mecha-shiva!

(To be fair, though, this is pretty ridiculous design even for Squeenix. Probably won't stop me from buying it, but jeez.)
njsykora's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 02:41
njsykora
Given that Shiva is also the name of a Hindu god, I'm fully expecting the shit to hit the fan over this one.
Holiday's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 07:56
Holiday
I'll see your Lesbo Motorcycle and raise you a Penis Chariot!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZEq6DG9ZP4
prev next 50 comments

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!

 
New on Destructoid.TV play all videos

Loading
Loading Destructoid Videos


    Win this!
    Dive in! meetup+play for a chance to win a PC

    Dtoid Twitter    Got news?   tips@destructoid.com

    Reviews & Previews
    Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles review
    Left 4 Dead 2 review
    Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Reflex review
    Arkedo Series - 02 SWAP! review
    EyePet review
    more reviews
    Legend of Zelda Spirit Tracks
    Monster Hunter Tri
    Hooking onto, under and above Just Cause 2
    PS3's 256-player MAG
    Rooms The Main Building
    more previews


    - The Dtoid Army is 50755 strong -

    Showing Cblogs with 3+ faps   show all

    Call for entries: do the wrong thing

    New to Dtoid? Read the survival guide




     Originals
    Jim Sterling: The ultimate PC gamer to-do list





















    More Destructoid Originals




     Popular now more






















    Team Destructoid   tips@destructoid.com
    Nick Chester
    Editor-in-Chief
    Niero
    Founder, publisher
    Jim Sterling
    Reviews Editor
    Hamza Aziz
    Community Manager
    Dale North
    News Editor
    Rey Gutierrez
    Video editor & director
    Anthony Burch
    Features Editor
    Colette Bennett
    Tom Fronczak Brad Nicholson
    Ashley Davis Ben Perlee
    Conrad
    Zimmerman
    Chad Concelmo
    Jonathan Holmes Jonathan Ross
    Brad Rice Jordan Devore
    Will Maddock Matthew Razak
    Dyson Joseph Leray
    Topher Cantler Samit Sarkar
         
      Dexter
    Adam Dork
    Daniel Lingen
    Hollie Bennett
    Joe Burling
    Mikey
    Stella Wong

    Josh Tolentino




     

     
      get involved

    register or login
    post a blog
    post a forum
    enter a contest
    contribute a news tip
    suggest a feature
    be a guest editor
    support

    new member's guide
    login assistance
    tech support
    report abuse
    email our editors
    read our dev blog
    nuclear crisis?
    keep in touch

    RSS feed
    Twitter
    Facebook
    Myspace
    Flickr
    Game nights
    Meetup+play online
    seriously

    about Destructoid
    advertising
    terms of use
    privacy policy
    jobs at MM
    buy our crap
    our network

    Tomopop
    Japanator
    Despingation?




    Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press
    living the dream since March 16, 2006