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I like game related merchandise. I can't pretend that I don't get excited when I see Chocobo seat cushions and other such random wackiness. It's so kawaii, after all. But sometimes I feel like there is a strong line between merchandise that is awesome and merchandise that is simply whoring out the game series name, and I'm afraid I feel that the above item falls into the latter category. From PSP Hyper:

The FFVII 10th anniversary celebration continues with this Final Fantasy VII 10th Anniversary Potion straight out of Shinra Inc, or rather premium maker Suntory in Japan. Just like the Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII special PSP bundle, there will only be 77,777 bottles of these and it sets to come out on September 13th, when Crisis Core went on sale. I am not sure what effect the potion, said to contain Vitamin B1 will have on you, but the detail is on the official site if you read Japanese. The price? 3,980 Yen tax inclusive or around US$32.

The potion will be pack in a classy looking white packaging which also include a book called FINAL FANTASY VII 10th ANNIVERSARY ULTIMANIA, covering every title in the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.

I can dig the book, and the packaging looks great. I guess I just don't get the potion. There were materia made around the time of Final Fantasy 7 and I didn't quite get that either. Maybe the reach of my geekdom is shorter than I think. At any rate, hit the comments and explain to me why I don't think this is cool. *puts on moogle hat and waits*


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48 comments | showing # 1 to 48

Hamblasto's Avatar
Hamblasto at 07/18/2007 21:25
So...suggestively...shaped...
Burritoclock's Avatar
Burritoclock at 07/18/2007 21:26
I bought a replica of the Indiana Jones antidote from Temple of doom... looks sorta similar. To each his own... I guess...

I wonder if this one is filled with scope like mine.
Aaron Linde's Avatar
Aaron Linde at 07/18/2007 21:27
Have you ever tasted Potion, Col? It's like the God of Ammonia taking a leak in your mouth.
Kif 's Avatar
Kif at 07/18/2007 21:28
Wait a sec... FFVII PSP bundle? When did that get announced?
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar
AngelsDontBurn at 07/18/2007 21:30
I love how they're doing it again! New bottle means more takers! Haha.
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar
deiga-the-semivaliant at 07/18/2007 21:32
Crisis Core is a Final Fantasy VII prequel... did you forget about it already?

My friend bought the Bahamut materia. It was pretty and came with a nice stand. It may seem useless, but it's no more useless than a model or a figurine that people seem to gush over.
topgeargorilla's Avatar
topgeargorilla at 07/18/2007 21:33
so do I drink it or put it in my butt?
Colette Bennett's Avatar
Colette Bennett at 07/18/2007 21:35
PUT IN BUTT!
GuitarAtomik's Avatar
GuitarAtomik at 07/18/2007 21:37
I admit it. I want it. I'm not ashamed.
topgeargorilla's Avatar
topgeargorilla at 07/18/2007 21:51
Are you sure? I'm not sure this is what we're supposed to do......
*bends over*
Aaron Linde's Avatar
Aaron Linde at 07/18/2007 21:51
PUT IT IN MY BUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Altair78's Avatar
Altair78 at 07/18/2007 21:53
Meh... looks so-so to me. Well, alright... the potion bottle looks kinda cool... but it's just something to add to a game that is sure to sell just to get a little bit more money. Now, if it came with a dvd, say advent children or whatnot, then that would be pretty cool. Or at least a Tifa bust (statue, not boobs... well... maybe those too).

I like what Stranglehold is planning to do for PS3 owners... adding the hi-def movie with the game. Hope to see more quality add-ons like that in the future.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar
AngelsDontBurn at 07/18/2007 21:55
WAIT I KNEW IT. IT'S A SUPOSSITORY!
NightDehumidifier's Avatar
NightDehumidifier at 07/18/2007 21:58
For all you asshole fans of Final Fantasy VII who keep buying Cloud's swords off the internet and playing One Winged Angel on their MP3 players, shove this up your ugly ass. You heard me right, shove this up your ugly ass!
Tiff's Avatar
Tiff at 07/18/2007 22:00
Don't do it! It's a bonifide RapeTrap™!!!!
topgeargorilla's Avatar
topgeargorilla at 07/18/2007 22:02
NightDe is making me laugh.
*giggle!*
HarassmentPanda's Avatar
HarassmentPanda at 07/18/2007 22:08
Did anyone see the full list of info about this product?

I, for one, am FUCKING STOKED. FF VII potion contains DOLOMITE!! That's right, if you thought FF XII Ammonia-Flavored Potion was good, just wait until you get the sweet taste of sedimentary rock in your mouth!
kawitchate's Avatar
kawitchate at 07/18/2007 22:09
"Look, I drink materia..."
topgeargorilla's Avatar
topgeargorilla at 07/18/2007 22:10
oh, and I'll say it before anybody else get's the chance
"What, What"
GuitarAtomik's Avatar
GuitarAtomik at 07/18/2007 22:10
If you put "FF7 RapeTrap" on eBay, I guarantee you'll get a million bids. That's right. A million. FF7 is that powerful.
Chad Concelmo's Avatar
Chad Concelmo at 07/18/2007 22:10
A RapeTrap™ in pure potion form. Look out!
Altair78's Avatar
Altair78 at 07/18/2007 22:18
Jeez, I already got my face REraped by DToid telling me about The Witcher... not I gatta get RE-rereaped?

Maaaaan... I tell you.
Roryzilla's Avatar
Roryzilla at 07/18/2007 22:27
i detect win.
Roflcopter Pilot's Avatar
Roflcopter Pilot at 07/18/2007 22:37
I really think SE should milk another Final Fantasy (IX please).
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's Avatar
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain at 07/18/2007 22:41
Ooh, I bet I can use this to bait some unsuspecting... Nevermind.
Oni's Avatar
Oni at 07/18/2007 22:49
NightDehumidifier said everything I wanted to. Thank you.
RevivedDemon's Avatar
RevivedDemon at 07/18/2007 22:59
You know what would make this worth it? If it was a $32 bottle of good tasting vodka. And even then, it'd be pricy.
gomeja's Avatar
gomeja at 07/18/2007 23:01
100HP is nothing.
Eschatos's Avatar
Eschatos at 07/18/2007 23:05
Remember kids, don't drink from strange vials.
grrza's Avatar
grrza at 07/18/2007 23:15
Suntory is the Boss of them all.
Iceciro's Avatar
Iceciro at 07/18/2007 23:22
looks like a dildo.
grrza's Avatar
grrza at 07/18/2007 23:25
Also cocks.
Crunshii's Avatar
Crunshii at 07/18/2007 23:25
correction Iceciro, thats SE new invention...

Teh Dildository
Iron Gamer's Avatar
Iron Gamer at 07/18/2007 23:29
Hey cool you can use the liquid inside as lube... (sorry did I go to far?)
Azereki's Avatar
Azereki at 07/18/2007 23:49
Hey, that is one slick looking potion bottle. I would gladly display it on my desk so that all may laugh at my nerdiness!
Scandalous's Avatar
Scandalous at 07/19/2007 00:14
i heard that stuff tasted grosser than warm donkey piss. however the "novelty" part of it doesn't look half bad.. if you can't find ole pinky.
SourGr8pes's Avatar
SourGr8pes at 07/19/2007 00:50
I think I'd LOSE HP drinking that crap.
s0lesurviv0r's Avatar
s0lesurviv0r at 07/19/2007 01:50
So would Phoenix Downs come in the form of electrified anal beads?
Caspian's Avatar
Caspian at 07/19/2007 01:56
@Linde & s0lesurviv0r:
I was gonna say, just imagine how shitty a Hi-Potion would taste. *shudders*

Remember kids, only sammiches restore real life HP. =P
GatsuTheBerserker's Avatar
GatsuTheBerserker at 07/19/2007 04:39
Dude, that thing would totally make you the king of badass...after you dump all the shit out of it, lol. I'd use that thing to carry Dr. Pepper in just for the hell of it, lol.
Nukkus's Avatar
Nukkus at 07/19/2007 05:40
If it's got the Shinra logo, then it's probably just bottled Mako. I'll pass.
Virtualgirl's Avatar
Virtualgirl at 07/19/2007 08:52
I can see someone waving this out of a windowless white van instead of candy to abduct FF fans...lol
Iceciro's Avatar
Iceciro at 07/19/2007 08:52
Yeah, I could see carrying like, blue kool-aid in it.
Teta's Avatar
Teta at 07/19/2007 21:00
PENIS!!!
skeletor's Avatar
skeletor at 07/19/2007 22:10
now we know how those characters were able to hold so many potions....(suppository).
Alaphic's Avatar
Alaphic at 07/21/2007 04:12
Obviously, I'm in the minority here, but I think it's pretty cool. If I didn't have to justify it to the wife, I'd buy it.

Then again, I'm one of those people that buys shit like that and won't even drink the stuff inside, I just leave it in there and marvel at the pretty.

But, yeah, the dildo-ness? The dildo-ocity, if you will? That bothers me a bit.
ElfAngel7's Avatar
ElfAngel7 at 09/18/2007 16:45
for oral and anal delights...much like SE's current business model
ElfAngel7's Avatar
ElfAngel7 at 09/18/2007 16:45
for oral and anal delights...much like SE's current business model
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