hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts

Final Fantasy: Officially Burnt Out

4:00 PM on 01.28.2011 // Jim Sterling
  @JimSterling

Square Enix may be the master of self parody. Only a company completely lacking in shame would officially unveil the next entry in a videogame franchise before the previous entry had even been released -- yet Square Enix did exactly that with Final Fantasy XIV, months ahead of XIII's launch.

I understand that XIV is an MMO, but even so, it's a ridiculous concept. It's even more laughable when you remember that Final Fantasy XIII was supposed to be three separate games, two of which were nowhere near to seeing a release at the time. 

Most major publishers only have a handful of games in development at any given time. Square Enix, with just one franchise, has more in the works than I can remember at all times. And with each sequel, each spin-off, and each pretentious, dreary name, I care less and less. 

I think the fantasy's worn off.

I saw a trailer for Final Fantasy Agito XIII this week, now renamed Final Fantasy Type-0, and I was almost pained by how little of a shit I give anymore. It was just another dreary, dark, pompously "epic" trailer with more boring orchestral score, more quasi-cyberpunk aesthetics, and more ludicrous costumes drenched with brooding depression. 

I used to be all for that. I'm one of those vile creatures who came to the series through Final Fantasy VII -- a game that's now very cool to hate -- and so I have no problem with the less fantastical, more  futuristic Final Fantasy games. However, Square Enix has just done so much of it in such a short space of time, and has completely saturated its market to the point where I just can't take anymore. 

The situation is simply overwhelming. Right now we have Final Fantasy Versus XIII, Final Fantasy Type 0, and Final Fantasy XIII-2 all in development at once. All of them are aesthetically indistinguishable from one another, and all of them will likely feature the same boring tropes that Square Enix have relied upon for years. I have no problem with games that don't innovate, but please tell me why I should care about three games being developed at once that all seem to be the same fucking thing?

Square Enix is, essentially, the George Lucas of videogames. It can't leave well enough alone. Final Fantasy VII, which I still proudly believe is a fantastic game, has been systematically torn apart by Square Enix with unwarranted sequels, prequels, spin-offs and narrative rewrites, and now the entire game is just a waffling, overwrought mess. We had Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, Final Fantasy VII: Before Crisis, Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core, Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus, all of them adding more and more convoluted twists and turns to the series, with less and less respect for the audience. 

Am I alone in thinking that it's just too much? A painter who cannot leave his work alone typically ends up with a canvas full of muddy brown shit, and that's Final Fantasy VII now. After retroactively introducing increasingly silly characters into the series, and bogging it down with grandiose, meaningless tripe, Square Enix has ruined the whole thing. Just like what Lucas did with Star Wars

Then there are the names. Fabula Nova Crystalis, Versus XIII, Agito, Type 0 ... what does it mean!? What does any of this pretentious fucking shit mean!? The names alone turn me off, as they give a clear indication as to just how up-their-own-arse the games are going to be. Anybody who hides behind bastardized Latin, made-up words, or the pointless rearrangement of sentences in order to appear clever and "deep" is a complete and utter dick. 

Kingdom Hearts suffers from this as well. Once, it was one of my favorite franchises, but the more complicated and vague Squenix makes the plot, the less I care. We haven't seen hide nor hair of a Kingdom Hearts III, but we've seen the exact same bullshit as the Final Fantasy series appearing on handhelds -- Birth By Sleep, 358/2 Days, Re:Coded. Just this endless stream of flatulent names, with stories that stopped making sense years ago, and characters that couldn't be thinner if they were made out of Lena Zavaroni's stomach lining. 

Remember when Final Fantasy was an event? A real treat? Each game was a self-contained story lasting hours and hours, and they only came along once every few years. They were special, and they meant something. Their stories began and ended in one epic sitting, and each one was distinct and always brought something new. Contrast that to now, where the main entries in the series can't be separated from the huge amount of spin-offs and remakes and fucking sub-sequels. Now the franchise is just a grey sludge, everything looking and sounding alike, and constantly in development with at least five games in production at any given time. 

Final Fantasy is just a machine now. A lurching, thunderous behemoth, methodically plodding forward in perpetual drudgery, churning out the same foggy irrelevance over and over again. 

So when I see a trailer for Agito, or Type 0, or whatever inflated, grandiloquent name it's given itself this week, I can't even muster the strength to roll my eyes anymore. I already know what it's going to be like, because Square Enix seems incapable of pushing itself in any area other than graphics anymore. The game dialog is going to be a repeated stream of made-up words and brooding characters who have to learn to share their hearts, the graphics are going to be the same pseudo-futuristic stuff that we've seen already, and the gameplay will be another old idea re-purposed to look new, but will likely just be less interesting. 

Maybe it was always like that? Maybe I've just gotten used to it due to the overexposure? All I know is I've had enough. It's too much now. And it's not just a case of too much. It's too much, too soon, too clumped together, and too histrionic. Square Enix has officially lost the plot, and I've lost all interest. 

And not even Activision has that many fucking games in the pipeline at once. 



Jim Sterling, Former Reviews Editor
 Follow Blog + disclosure JimSterling Tips
Destructoid reviews editor, responsible for running and maintaining the cutting edge videogame critique that people ignore because all they want to see are the scores at the end. Also a regular f... more   |   staff directory

 Setup email comments

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our moderators, and flag the user (we will ban users dishing bad karma). Can't see comments? Apps like Avast or browser extensions can cause it. You can fix it by adding *.disqus.com to your whitelists.

 Quickposts
Status updates from C-bloggers

Maldicion Janssen avatarMaldicion Janssen
https://www.facebook.com/maldicion.janssen
Maldicion Janssen avatarMaldicion Janssen
HI
Nathan D avatarNathan D
Are we really calling followers "fappers" on these quick posts? I knew I loved Dtoid.
OverlordZetta avatarOverlordZetta
[youtube]https://youtu.be/z04MAOubUgM[/youtube] This might've been a fun show.
Cosmonstropolis avatarCosmonstropolis
Someone is trying to log into my Dtoid account. I keep getting emails notifying me of bad password attempts. What?
gajknight avatargajknight
If you spend 10 minutes trying to write a Quickpost...can it really be called Quickpost?
Mike Wallace avatarMike Wallace
So I have enough coins to get a new character in Heroes of the Storm. I like big portly characters like the Butcher or Stitches, but I did enjoy my free week of Tychus. Crowd thoughts?
GoofierBrute avatarGoofierBrute
Today I learned that Bad Rats 2 is a thing that is happening. I don't know how to feel about this.
techsupport avatartechsupport
The temp agency that employs me had me work as a sign spinner today. As in, I held a six foot cardboard arrow-shaped sign and spun it and danced for six hours. It got interesting when a homeless couple confronted me about hogging their spot.
Rad Party God avatarRad Party God
V days until !
Snaveage avatarSnaveage
5ish hours into Phantom Pain and it is absolutely glorious. This is truly A Hideo Kojima game.
Robo Panda Z avatarRobo Panda Z
It looks like my job at PAX didn't work out (For a variety of reasons). Have fun at the convention, everyone! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdqoNKCCt7A
thelivinglegend avatarthelivinglegend
Witches of Crookback Bog from Witcher 3 is the best quest in the whole game and of any game I've played in recent memory.
Pixie The Fairy avatarPixie The Fairy
I was just accosted by the most gorgeous cosmetics saleswoman with an adorable Hatian-Creole accent. It's not often my attention gets that immersed in a total bullshit sales pitch. Well, that and I didn't want her to let go of my arm.
Cosmonstropolis avatarCosmonstropolis
My son just washed my Majora's Mask NEW 3DS because the screen was dirty. Bahahaha *cries uncontrollably*
Flegma avatarFlegma
Ever thought of skipping a console generation (and not upgrading PC for years, either) because of how big your pile of shame is? I'm doing that just now.
Tenzan  avatarTenzan
Apparently there are cancellations on the CE versions of MGSV:TTP from Europe and North America. People getting emails saying they are cancelled and such. On top of that is that there's been unboxings that don't have the extras for the Day One edition.
OverlordZetta avatarOverlordZetta
I've been mad at myself all morning for missing the apostrophe in "I'll" on my Quickpost last night, but it turns out that apostrophes just don't show up on the feed! Isn't that the bee's knees?
Perro avatarPerro
Playing through Skies of Arcadia Legends right now. Bringing this to Steam or current gen in HD seems like a no-brainer. Make it so, Sega!
Kris S avatarKris S
Fassbender looks awesome. A not shit game adaption? We will see
more quickposts


Contest!


Seriously

Invert site colors

  Dark Theme
  Light Theme


Destructoid means family.
Living the dream, since 2006

Pssst. konami code + enter

modernmethod logo



Back to Top


We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -