This is classic. Proving that you can't dare to say or do anything these days without it offending someone, a bunch of gamer feminists are up in arms over the "fat-bashing" PSN game, Fat Princess. The game's premise is that the princess you must rescue has been stuffed so full of food, she now needs a team to haul her copious backside to safety -- according to some mini-Germaines out there, that's simply not on.

Feminist Gamers (ha ha) has attacked the game, claiming it will "reinforce nasty stereotypes about women and the obese." What's the negative stereotype? That fat people like to eat? It's TRUE! That fat people are heavy? I HAVE PERSONAL EVIDENCE THAT THEY ARE! I've never seen a negative stereotype about a fat person. It's. All. True.

Even worse is a writer at Shakesville, who took time out of doing her husband's laundry to write this: "Congrats on your awesome new game, Sony. I'm positively thrilled to see such unyielding dedication to creating a new generation of fat-hating, heteronormative assholes." As you can see, she uses "words" like "heteronormative" to sound clever and informed, a tactic which invariably fails and makes one look presumptuous and pretentious.

"What I can't figure out is why anyone would want to rescue a fat princess in the first place, since everyone knows that fat girls are unlovable human garbage at whom any sensible bloke would sooner hurl invective than cast a longing glance." Word to the wise: Sarcastic fat girls don't go to the prom!

It should be no secret to anybody that I'm a fat guy myself, and I'm certainly not offended by this game. Perhaps I'm just too heteronormative to understand the terrible evil that this game represents. Or maybe self-styled "feminists" who think that the movement is all about getting angry and using buzzwords are simply retarded. Who knows?