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Here's Uwe Boll's latest masterpiece. Based off the FarCry series, it follows the plot from the game as Jack Carver and Valerie Constantine investigate an island full of genetically modified super soliders. It's set to have lots of explosions, violence and dddduuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrr! YOUR PENUS IS LIKE A GUN! LOLOLOL!

MEERRRRRRRR! DUUURRRRRR! MOOOOOOOO! ............

Editor's note: Umm, sorry guys and girls, we don't know what just happened to CTZ. We think his mind must have snapped after watching the trailer. -- Mr. Destructoid.

[Thanks, Jsun!]


Continue: More Uwe Boll stories





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84 comments | showing # 51 to 84

The Dutch Slayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 18:07
The Dutch Slayer
whahahhahaah seriesly.... where does this guy get his money?
its just sooo bad that its funny :P
DV2FOX's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 18:36
DV2FOX
borin' movie...Jack Carver wears his red white jacket all the game...here...for a minute in a boat..then soldier power

no thanks
neveranything's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 18:59
neveranything
I want to kill myself. I honestly have an overwhelming urge to take my own life. And that was only after watching 2 minutes of this crapfest!
microwavefood's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 19:07
microwavefood
bullplop
Rob_Jedi's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 19:16
Rob_Jedi
Where is the star of Far Cry THE UGLY RED HAWAIIAN SHIRT, for shame leaving out the heart of the game, oh and Jungles which I kinda recall being there.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 19:18
Sharpless
Why the hell won't this man stay away from video game movies? That's just pathetic, bad moviemaking, to keep doing video game adaptations. Spread out, diversify, do something original. It'll still suck, but at least you'll be semi-original.
unit da gamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 19:34
unit da gamer
why the hell is the "batman begins" music used at the start of this ass trailer? Come on U, don't use quality stuff for your shitty movies!
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 19:35
Teta
No red Hawaiian shirt makes Magnum really angry and disappointed.
Alpha 87655320875's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 19:54
Alpha 87655320875
I love this trailer, it's so bad
Wedge's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 20:51
Wedge
So it IS Vashon Island? I thought that looked like the Pudget Sound... You know he doesn't have the money to go to real islands XD.
TheBrain's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 21:05
TheBrain
Ughhhhh

it hurts.
Boolean's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 21:20
Boolean
WHY IS THIS MAN STILL MAKING MOVIES!?
Aksumka's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 21:30
Aksumka
God, when I stumbled upon the IMDB page for this I knew it would be shit. And now thanks to this trailer, it looks like I'm right.
Boolean's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 21:35
Boolean
"You're just a simple boatman."
"Who said I was simple?"

...uuughh, HE just did you stupid fucking asshole!
Boolean's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 21:44
Boolean
^^

nm, the quote on Dtoid was wrong.

Instead I will make fun of the "Is that your gun?" line? So they are lying in bed, naked, after shagging the shit out of each other, and the joke is "HO HO HIS PENUS IS TOUCHING HER!!!". What the fuck? And why would it be his gun anyway? And since when do people store guns in the front of their pants? After sex? And feel like metal? AH GOD THIS MOVIE SUCKS SO HARD
michiyoyoshiku's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 21:50
michiyoyoshiku
This will suck less than EWWWWWWWW's other movies because Anthony Bordain is in it
c0dek's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 21:57
c0dek
Is that your gun?

No...it's the script - I needed a laugh
DrNutt's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 22:00
DrNutt
Dude. If that is Vashon Island, he better be killing hippies for 90 minutes. Please let it be so.
David Quinn Carder's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 22:41
David Quinn Carder
@ michiyoyoshiku

Holy shit. Anthony Bourdain is in it.

I hate Uwe Boll's movies (I've done more than my fair share of bitching about them already, though). That being said, this looks much better than any of his previous movies. I know that isn't saying much, but whatever. It looks merely bad—really bad—but not Uwe bad. At least it looks like somebody is trying this time. But it will be absolutely terrible, I'm sure.

And maybe when we get a better look at that sword it's going to look like aluminum foil wrapped around plastic, like the blades in Bloodrayne did.

I will watch this with my friends when it comes on TV at 3am a year from now, as I do with all his movies—generally much funnier than actual comedies.
david morgar's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 22:52
david morgar
Actually, it's spelled PENIS, you moron... Well, then again, maybe you were brain fucked after that crappy trailer.
catsithx's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 22:53
catsithx
yeAH There running out of good movie ideas if they have to make this game into a movie
Daxelman's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 23:05
Daxelman
This looks Iffy, I hope he took what he learned from Postal and inported it into this.

Postal was fucking awesome.
MistuhX's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 23:18
MistuhX
so many cliche sounds...sickening
Necros's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 23:18
Necros
"I'm calling to confirm that you were able to ask blah blah blah"

God, don't let this guy write dialogue.
Terror Player's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 23:29
Terror Player
Who the fuck is TIL SCHWEIGER??? WHO THE FUCK IS JACK CARVER???

The last shred I had of dignity died the moment I saw Boll KG logo up front. And did he just ripped off and Boll-ized the music of the Batman Begins' trailer???

Besides it still looks like a school video done for homework, I am guessing this Til is his good twin brother (come one, we both know Uwe is EVIL).
Orionsaint's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 23:30
Orionsaint
Gimmie a break. As if Farcry is such a deep and compelling game. What a rich story hehe. The movie captures the cheesy game perfectly. What more do you want? You guys act like he was working with Oscar worthy material hehe.
MonkeyKombat's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/14/2008 23:59
MonkeyKombat
Uwe Boll Must Die!
Skylance's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/15/2008 00:34
Skylance
@Wedge

No idea. Definitely the Pacific Northwest, but I just picked a random name out of a hat. The only island names I remember from Seattle were Bainbridge, Mercer, Whidbey(?), and Vashon.
ajaxender's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/15/2008 00:35
ajaxender
That actually looks entertaining. If not pay to go see entertaining, then at least worth a download entertaining.

Orionsaint said it well.
Fading Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/15/2008 05:36
Fading Star
Woah.....
Winwood's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/15/2008 06:04
Winwood
Holy shit - I actually felt my IQ drop while watching that ... or that might have been my faith in mankind. Either way that was painful to watch.

Also ... "Is that your gun?"

Seriously, Uwe must know that he is not qualified for this. There is no way you can make something like that and pass it off as a real movie. If he were to ever get the Halo franchise I'm pretty sure the world would stop spinning.
Kaspar's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/15/2008 06:43
Kaspar
I think i caught a glimpse of Stuttering Craig..


Also, the trailer is like being raped with a rake.
RevivedDemon's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/15/2008 11:19
RevivedDemon
This looks like a b list made for tv movie. Sweet.
MisterMingo's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/15/2008 11:45
MisterMingo
Uwe Boll's movies would be perfect for Rifftrax. Get on it, Mike Nelson!
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