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Here's Uwe Boll's latest masterpiece. Based off the FarCry series, it follows the plot from the game as Jack Carver and Valerie Constantine investigate an island full of genetically modified super soliders. It's set to have lots of explosions, violence and dddduuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrr! YOUR PENUS IS LIKE A GUN! LOLOLOL!

MEERRRRRRRR! DUUURRRRRR! MOOOOOOOO! ............

Editor's note: Umm, sorry guys and girls, we don't know what just happened to CTZ. We think his mind must have snapped after watching the trailer. -- Mr. Destructoid.

[Thanks, Jsun!]


Continue: More FarCry stories





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next 50 comments

85 comments | showing # 1 to 50

Holyetheline's Avatar
Holyetheline at 02/14/2008 15:44
Hmmm... I don't trust this.
stoo1985's Avatar
stoo1985 at 02/14/2008 15:49
I thought that was David Hyde Pierce for a moment, oh man!


David Hyde Pierce = a better movie

:P
Mozgus's Avatar
Mozgus at 02/14/2008 15:49
Ugh. Go back to comedy please.
MrSadistic's Avatar
MrSadistic at 02/14/2008 15:49
Wow, it's an all-star cast of actors from sub-par movies.
drMario1337's Avatar
drMario1337 at 02/14/2008 15:50
Wow, can you say boring?
brendonia's Avatar
brendonia at 02/14/2008 15:50
on USA Friday at 8
PrinceofCannedPeaches's Avatar
PrinceofCannedPeaches at 02/14/2008 15:51
@Etheline
You don't have to trust it: it's Uwe Boll.

The way most of the dialogue is delivered makes me feel like Boll would be better dredging his lines out of a barnyard animal Spin-and-Say than those pathetic actors.

Jack: But there's Trigens down there! We can't go there!
Valerie: MOOOOOOOOOO!
suncrashesdown's Avatar
suncrashesdown at 02/14/2008 15:53
Wow this looks pretty fuckin awful. Maybe a new low for our pal Uwe?
Guagloves's Avatar
Guagloves at 02/14/2008 15:54
How do his movies make it to theaters? Seriously.
Dagerr's Avatar
Dagerr at 02/14/2008 15:55
Wow! This movie looks great!




...If it were released in the late 80s.
Vigor's Avatar
Vigor at 02/14/2008 15:56
Hey Stevo... Fuck you!
UglyDuck's Avatar
UglyDuck at 02/14/2008 15:56
It's got Udo Kier, who played Yuri from RA2, so it's got to be good.
zsavior's Avatar
zsavior at 02/14/2008 15:57
IS this universal solider, Lawl .
power-glove's Avatar
power-glove at 02/14/2008 15:58
If this movie has over a million dollar budget I am going to laugh
Mabec's Avatar
Mabec at 02/14/2008 16:00
omg vad värdelöst.
Dr Milkdad's Avatar
Dr Milkdad at 02/14/2008 16:00
Oh shit, Til Schweiger is in this? Oh snap, now I have to see who the fuck is Til Schweiger?

But I'm going to see this opening day, it looks just way to ridiculous to not see it any other time. The dialog seems about on par with Transformers, just so much mouth diarrhea splashing all over the place.
that1dood's Avatar
that1dood at 02/14/2008 16:01
Mr. Boll... you've out did yourself. DURRRRRR Is that your gun? "Yup and I left it loaded. BOOM"

*brain splode*
Baron Calico's Avatar
Baron Calico at 02/14/2008 16:01
Well... the acting here is at least better than the game it's based on...
3r0t1c n3rd's Avatar
3r0t1c n3rd at 02/14/2008 16:05
I smell shitty movie night...
Sadie G's Avatar
Sadie G at 02/14/2008 16:05
Poor Hamza :(
Tubatic's Avatar
Tubatic at 02/14/2008 16:06
Wait whoa, didn't tax law critical strike Uwe Boll with a fata blow like, two months ago?! Why are we still seeing this.

Also, Transformers was Shakesperean compared to this dreck, doc. Shoehorning toy catch phrases FTW
Fishstick's Avatar
Fishstick at 02/14/2008 16:06
"You're just a simple boatman."

That's good shit right there.
Chad Concelmo's Avatar
Chad Concelmo at 02/14/2008 16:06
CTZ! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Come back to us!
tratch's Avatar
tratch at 02/14/2008 16:08
Uwe should have cast Robert Z'Dar.

Far Cry + Robert Z'Dar = Instant Win.
Dr Milkdad's Avatar
Dr Milkdad at 02/14/2008 16:09
"Who said I was simple..?"

Gold, pure fucking GOLD
angusm's Avatar
angusm at 02/14/2008 16:09
Shit that fails so hard!
Putthebottledown's Avatar
Putthebottledown at 02/14/2008 16:18
Who lets him make movies.... I mean what studio says.. WE NEED UWE BOLLE!!!
Skylance's Avatar
Skylance at 02/14/2008 16:19
Ahh... Wasn't Far Cry supposed to be, you know, in the Tropics?

Last time I checked, Vashon wasn't exactly packed with jungles.
ceark's Avatar
ceark at 02/14/2008 16:22
oh man, uwe got CTZ! someone call an ambulance!
UnderLines's Avatar
UnderLines at 02/14/2008 16:25
Is that your gun... in my ass?
Dr Milkdad's Avatar
Dr Milkdad at 02/14/2008 16:26
There are no jungles in Vancouver, where every Uwe Boll ever has been filmed.
yaisuah's Avatar
yaisuah at 02/14/2008 16:28
Anybody want to stand in line for tickets with me starting RIGHT NOW?
Jordan Grim Devore's Avatar
Jordan Grim Devore at 02/14/2008 16:28
Shitty Movie Night says hai!
BluDesign's Avatar
BluDesign at 02/14/2008 16:30
Fucking A!

Til Schweiger's BACK BABY!
Professor Pew's Avatar
Professor Pew at 02/14/2008 16:38
Do Want! It actually looks like the game, weird.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar
Samit Sarkar at 02/14/2008 16:39
Why the hell does this movie look like it was made in 1986?
verkon's Avatar
verkon at 02/14/2008 16:47
No traces of Handsome Tom or Stuttering Craig :(
DrNutt's Avatar
DrNutt at 02/14/2008 17:01
Looks like this is a "far cry" from a decent movie!
WillyFourEyes's Avatar
WillyFourEyes at 02/14/2008 17:08
Shitty trailer is shitty.

Also: Uwe Boll + anything = Insta-Fail...unless it's Custer's Revenge.
Cheeburga's Avatar
Cheeburga at 02/14/2008 17:08
Holy shit, listen to those sound effects for impacts of punches, kicks, and the falling bomb.
Fucking horrible.
ScottyG's Avatar
ScottyG at 02/14/2008 17:12
The only reason I'd consider watching this movie is because the guys from Screwattack are in it, as background characters or something.

This is assuming of course their scenes didn't get cut out. :p
RaiRed's Avatar
RaiRed at 02/14/2008 17:13
Gonna have to watch this since if features the ScrewAttack guys, but I certainly won't pay for the pleasure.
Gyrael's Avatar
Gyrael at 02/14/2008 17:20
...

I hate Boll he should die.
foxhound009's Avatar
foxhound009 at 02/14/2008 17:31
hahahahha is that a very expensive joke or a very bad business move????????
MechaMonkey's Avatar
MechaMonkey at 02/14/2008 17:37
Pine trees do not = jungle.

Inaccuracies abound!
Crumpet Lips's Avatar
Crumpet Lips at 02/14/2008 17:43
I don't know why people keep thinking movies that are made which are based off of games will be any good. They are ALL terrible. The only movie I ever thought was remotely good was Mario Brothers but even that was shonky (can see how silly it is now that I am older).

Anyway, fart
str8raz0r's Avatar
str8raz0r at 02/14/2008 17:45
Dare I say this looks like a much better effort than Boll's previous attempts?

I mean, that's not saying much, but at least he's got the basic skeleton of Far Cry's non-plot in there.

And Udo Kier is made of win.

Still looks like shit, but a slightly polished turd, at least.
moot button's Avatar
moot button at 02/14/2008 17:46
WOW, who keeps giving this guy money?!
razerangel's Avatar
razerangel at 02/14/2008 17:46
Based on the best selling videogame.

Words that will send a chill down the spine of even the hardiest of men.
Blommen's Avatar
Blommen at 02/14/2008 17:53
There's not even a jungle, wtf???

Damn I hate that man!
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