Each week, Fanboy Friday takes a look at some of the most ridiculous, asinine, and unintentionally hilarious comments made by fanboys from a variety of gaming sites.
With a couple weeks to process everything that happened with E3, the fanboys are finally back making videos on YouTube again. Fuled by Natal, God of War 3, and [PROTOTYPE] vs. inFAMOUS, there's a whole lot of trash taking going down, and since it's been a while since we've had a video post, you're getting one today.
Hit the jump!
Somehow, our favorite fanboy ELPRESADOR has managed to round up a whole group of middle aged men in wrestling tee-shirts to blather on about how great the Playstation 3 is. Recently, they put together a fake movie trailer for something they've called 'An Epic Advanture", but instead of showing you that we'll take a look at the newest member of the "Trey Brotherhood", thetruthnow37.
Not to be outdone, some of the 360 fans fire back. It's hard to argue with a video like this when it's prefaced with a Pokemon montage.
ELPRESADOR has some sad sad news, and some very bad metaphors, for people who like the 360.
Videos are always more convincing and effective when you smear your camera lens with vasoline before you film. This is especially funny because it was before E3, and he's rambling on about motion sensing and how it's only stupid consoles that have it.
It's 2009! The PS3 is the future! Apparently flannel shirts are as well!
Finally, for the grand finale, I have possibly the most amazing video we've ever featured on Fanboy Friday. Probably knowing he would end up on Fanboy Friday (Since this is clearly a highly popular column everyone has heard of), he disabled embedding on his video. We have thwarted him, and you can now mock him from the safety of Destructoid.
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU WATCH THIS.
There's no way that anything is going to top that last video, so I'm not even going to try. If you're still capable of coherent though and fine motor control after watching all that nonsense, tell us in the comments who the winner was. (You are not allowed to vote for the last one, because he is obviously the best. Pick one of the other ones.)
Jonathan Ross is an Associate Editor in Los Angeles who is obsessed with capybaras. Like, seriously, obsessed. If he's not playing Team Fortress 2 or getting into arguments about why PC gaming is superior, he's either off having a fancy dinner with lots of expensive wine, or sitting on the Destructoid IRC complaining that's he's not off having a fancy dinner.
Likes: Chrono Trigger, Street Fighter, Steam, everything Blizzard and Valve have ever made, playing Angry Birds on the toilet.
Meet the rest of the team
These people blow my friggin' mind. Like, do they think that people are sitting at home with $400 going, "I know, I'll buy a new video game console, but I don't know which one I should get, so I'll look at YouTube videos to help me make my decision."?
Not to mention how poor their logic and delivery is. Seriously, final nail in the coffin? One man's opinion about third person shooters is the death knell of a multimillion user base video game console? I don't get it.
Argh. I usually like Fanboy Fridays, but for some reason, the video ones always genuinely anger me. It's not that these people don't like my preferred console (I honestly don't know which one that is any more), just that these people are 37 year old men whose best argument is that Pac-Man is like anal insertion, because, you know, it says, "Pac." How do you get to be like that? I hate humans.
Half of these I simply cannot believe are for real.
I put this down to two reasons; the first that their dialogue is so utterly ridiculous, and second, that the creators of the videos that have been around for a while haven't had a surprise knock on the door from educated officials at some point with the intent of taking them away to someplace "special."
I tried to make it through at least one of these, but the pain was too great after the first guy kept trying to make jokes that weren't funny then pausing as if I was going to chime in and back him up.
Sometimes I tell myself that fanboys only need grow out of their stupidity. Their inane ramblings are a direct result of a lack of positive attention from their fellow middle schoolers.
The second or third ones win. The second, because he has the amazing power to take images off of Google and edit them into a video, and then lie about all the things he did to look cool. The third, because he took the time to make script up to be prepared to preach to the unwashed masses. Why else would he be looking down all the time?
I just wonder where these people get their delusions of self importance. Why do they think people want to watch them spout biased opinions for ten minutes? They must be the "no woman will ever be good enough for mama's little angel" types that were coddled and needlessly praised throughout childhood.
Or they're just insane. Middle aged dudes arguing with people young enough to be their kids about video games. Like the kind of guys that beat on kids and animals to feel like a toughguy, only even more pathetic.
Considering it has "DESTRUCTOID.COM" in the corner and is on the Destructoid Viddler account, I think that's a sound theory. Reminds me of the fake videos about Smash Bros and FFXIII on the 360 the guy from Something Awful did.
i agree wit the final nail video (obviously its the best to ) cuz he speaks the truth and as a ps3 owner i know if i keep telling ppl that sony is my lord and savior and every one buys the ps "trey" sony will give me free money and suck my dick while cradling my balls of course
I don't get violent but I really wanted to punch out thetruthnow37. Maybe it was the fact that his camera shook the entire time he was filming, maybe it was the nonsense spewing from his mouth or maybe it was the wrestling shirt. As a wrestling fan who has never felt the need to wear the shirts, I can honestly say that I am wary of the fans who do.
ELPRESEDOR, let me just say,(spit) you have never been in a war,(spit) you have never (spit) caused a red ring (spit) of death by possesion,(spit) I don't even think that's possible.(spit) Also, real gamers get their own beta codes and not from youtube.
I have the same chair as ForkInAnOutletTV. I bought it for $20 at target.
So who is the masked fanboi? That is the question of the day. I think it's Niero. I wish Wii fanbois really acted like that.
All that being said, ElPRESADOR wins this round for me solely because of the spit. At first I just thought it was just his natural redneck shining through, but after the big wad he spat out at the end, and the way he looked pissed off while doing it, I realized that every single spit was for dramatic effect. That is why ELPRESADOR wins.
Also, I have to disagree with Dexter here, I prefer the video editions of Fanboi friday. I enjoy the stupid look in all of their eyes. That's something that you just don't get with text.
Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?
Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!
Contest:
4:00 PM on 06.19.2009
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PPTTHHSEEE ESSTHHHFFRR THHHFFFREEE!
W.
T.
F.
The other ones have to be elaborate trolls, no grown man would act like that.
Kitty was a nice touch.
lulz
Holy shit, that nose.
Second guy... wtf? Arguments aren't made by "my dad says..."
Third guy's full of himself. "We took over YouTube! lol!"
Fourth guy needs to learn words other than "stupid."
Fifth guy needs to do his own damn research.
And the last guy wins the internets, cuz you know he's just fucking with us.
Video 2: Did those idiots blow $400 so that they could turn that machine into a grill? Yeah, that's something to be proud of.
Video 3: Arguments just lose weight when you have a lead-thick southern accent, and a mouthful of chew, that shit is nasty.
Video 4: sound quality sucks, focus/vasoline problem. I'm not watching the rest.
Video 5: old argument
Finale: wow...I don't care if my face was covered, I couldn't bring myself to act like that. He strikes me as one of the people I hate.
Not to mention how poor their logic and delivery is. Seriously, final nail in the coffin? One man's opinion about third person shooters is the death knell of a multimillion user base video game console? I don't get it.
Argh. I usually like Fanboy Fridays, but for some reason, the video ones always genuinely anger me. It's not that these people don't like my preferred console (I honestly don't know which one that is any more), just that these people are 37 year old men whose best argument is that Pac-Man is like anal insertion, because, you know, it says, "Pac." How do you get to be like that? I hate humans.
Obviously you get to be that way by owning a PS3.
ZING!
I put this down to two reasons; the first that their dialogue is so utterly ridiculous, and second, that the creators of the videos that have been around for a while haven't had a surprise knock on the door from educated officials at some point with the intent of taking them away to someplace "special."
ElPresador is in our 360's, red ringing our games!!!!
Then I see these videos, and I weep.
I think the first one wins for "...the truth as I see it. Not necessarily as YOU see it because your mind is worked!"
Or they're just insane. Middle aged dudes arguing with people young enough to be their kids about video games. Like the kind of guys that beat on kids and animals to feel like a toughguy, only even more pathetic.
rite?...
ELPRESEDOR, let me just say,(spit) you have never been in a war,(spit) you have never (spit) caused a red ring (spit) of death by possesion,(spit) I don't even think that's possible.(spit) Also, real gamers get their own beta codes and not from youtube.
I have the same chair as ForkInAnOutletTV. I bought it for $20 at target.
So who is the masked fanboi? That is the question of the day. I think it's Niero. I wish Wii fanbois really acted like that.
All that being said, ElPRESADOR wins this round for me solely because of the spit. At first I just thought it was just his natural redneck shining through, but after the big wad he spat out at the end, and the way he looked pissed off while doing it, I realized that every single spit was for dramatic effect. That is why ELPRESADOR wins.
Also, I have to disagree with Dexter here, I prefer the video editions of Fanboi friday. I enjoy the stupid look in all of their eyes. That's something that you just don't get with text.
Haha, I see what you mean about that stupid look in their eyes. There's madness there I tell ya :P
@Jesus H Christ
Lmao
Video 2 looks like he just went to google and took someone else's images and added words and music to try and make his own vid
ELPRESADOR... does dipping during your video make you cool? I missed that memo, I'll be sure to do it from now on
Video4: so um my friend said that it sucks and no rrod for a month so it's all fixed
video5: yawn...............
video6: SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES... must. go. buy .wii. now.