Fanboy Friday: Ur damned souls

5:00 PM on 08.07.2009   |   Jonathan Ross

52 comments

The Final Fantasy games have a very rabid and diverse fanboy base. There are some who consider the games to be the pinnacle of RPGs. Some people can't stop jizzing over the games' music. Some people are still writing fanfiction about Cloud, Sephiroth, and an incredibly inappropriate Limit Break. Whatever aspect of the games people are obsessed with, fanboys love their Final Fantasy.

This is why what happened a few days ago was so traumatizing. Some new Final Fantasy XIII screens were released, and, horror among horrors, there had been DESIGN CHANGES. Some hair color changed, some details got added/erased, and everyone got more belts.

And people were pissed.

Hit the jump.

Some people felt that the graphics had been downgraded some. Of course, it's very likely that the top screens were CGI, or at least were rendered on the ultra powerful development PCs. That didn't stop people from complaining though. What was the cause of this horrible tragedy?

wow. wtf is with microsoft. its all about the stupid fucking money thats why the 360 graphics has a fucking green tint to it. 

That's right! It's all Microsoft's fault! Most of this Fanboy Friday is just going to be people flipping a shit about how Microsoft is ruining everything -- I could try to put together a little story or a narrative, but really it's much funnier just to read all of this nonsense. First, we'll start with the most compelling arguments, made by two separate people, on why Microsoft is so awful.

360 is asshole 

360 is gay 

Well, I'm convinced. Just in case you're not though, here are some more reasons.

FUK YOU BILL GAYTES

FF 13 Versus + FF 14 at E3 2010 next year :-/  Even tho this years E3 they didn't really get anything PS3 Exclusive. MGS:R is not MGS4 SUCKERS!!! ;-D 'NOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOT!!! SNAAAAAAAAAKE!!!' ;-D (Kojima said to M$ at E3) 

Microsoft impedes technological progress with their last gen tech. I'm not gonna play this junk, I'm too spoiled by PS3 exclusives!

MS has told developers in the past to "DOWNGRADE/DEGRADE YOUR GAMES ON THE 360". So if you support a company that tells developers to do that in clear simple English then why's everyone now up-set? I has thought that gaming "journalists" would have talked about this more when MS openly came out and said these things but n-o-o-o. They're just patsies looking for their next ad$ meal.

Dont buy this game its gonna be a giant turd and look like a ps1 game cause of the 360

Murderbox 360 strikes again, murdering games since 2005.

I entirely Blame xbox 360 for ruining this game, just like GTA Assassins Creed

As we can see, Microsoft has clearly ruined Final Fantasy XIII forever. That's totally ok though. No one wanted to play it anyway. It was a shitty piece of shit that no one cared about, so it's totally fine that it'll be on the 360. Everyone knows the REAL game is going to be Versus.

The characters in FFXIII SUCK BAD. Female version of cloud? WTF!! They are lame as hell. But FFversusXIII, now thats a different story.

Damn retarded 360. Too bad Microshaft dumped that large money bag on Square to hold back the PS3 version release and make both titles equal. Now the PS3 version will have to be dumbed down to match the dated tech in the xbox 360. At least Versus 13 is untouched.

games are not going to look any better then they are now on 360. look at uncharted 2 do you really think that the ps3 is pushing less polygons then the 360 i dont think so. people who bought the 360 are just mad because they bought the shittiest next gen system and now they are trying to make themselves feel better by saying it is the better system instead of admitting that they fucked up and bought a shitty system. why do you think the 360 is the cheapest system because its crap with cheap parts. they sell you accessories that are way overpriced like a hard drive you can only buy from microsoft a hd player oh wait that was shit too. ff13 versus will look a million times better because it is ps3 exclusive they already said it was going to look real good.

Multiplat devs are lazy fucks and you know it, they'll do what it takes to make it just good enough..... John Carmack says that DVD9 is holding Rage back its a fact... its gonna come one 2 disc what is this 1998????? Forza 3 will be on 2 discs LMAFO.... with only 400 cars.. omg 12 disc box sets coming your way. While GT5 can do 800+ cars all with cockpit view and Rally, Nascar and about 79 different tracks...Have Fun retards we still have FF13 Versus.

Just buying Versus isn't enough, though. People want to make sure that Microsoft really feels the STING from ruining this game. I hope you're happy Microsoft. You just lost a few sales you were never going to have in the first place! 

F*** u and ur inventor and ur damned souls and every money u spent to ruin FF13 on ps3!! F*** u again and again!! i will never support MS even if it is the last company in the world!!!! never ever!!!! u will not get a pinny from me and i will buy ps3 when there is a price cut this year!!!! fcking losers!!! Letter to the bots: u deserve all the money u lost with MS and got in return a finger in that hole!!

A 360 fanboy interrupts the Sony circlejerk to spout some incoherent nonsense about something.

yep, its all MSFTS fault, thats why KZ2 had to be gimped down in the final version (compared to cgi).., same with HS. SO what will you ps3tards say if the 360 version of FF13 will lok better? Like better AA, lightening and so on. WIll you also say that the game was gimped to because of MS?? LOL No i know you will say the FAMOUD -> WAIT UNTIL FF13 VS! LOOOOOOOL Its also Microsoft why Ghostbuster whcih was portet to 360 looked wors eon PS3! Hell, for ya PS3 boys its always MSfts mistake.. since 3 years, hahahaha.

One guy did some detective work, and discovered how the Microsoft deal REALLY 'went down'.

MS: Mr.Wada, we would like to have this game on our Platform.
Wada: But, 360 cannot run this game as good as the PS3 version..
MS: *Slips check in shirt pocket* You can take care of that, no?
Wada: *Gets up off knees & wipes mouth* of course.

And finally, I need to show you all the best new 'insult' name for the 360. Previously, my favorite had been 'Shitbox ThreeShitty', because it was so unimaginative, but this new one totally blows it out of the water. Are you ready?

At least PS3 owners didn't have to buy the same console 4-5 times like BetaFlopBox360Pleasefixme. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOLL 

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOLL!