It's always interesting when an older Japanese game finally makes it out West, as was the case with White Knight Chronicles this week. I remember hearing the game being hyped back when I bought my PS3, but I quickly forgot about it since the release date was so far off.
This week, it finally game out. How does a game made in 2008 rank today? Most reviews agreed it was pretty average, although a couple reviewers just flat out didn't like it (and a few thought it was just fantastic).
As expected, the fact that the game didn't get a 10 means gloating from 360 fanboys and incessant whining from the PS3 side.
Hit the jump.
Let's talk about some of the reviews. These, as you can probably figure out, are mostly pulled from the reviews that weren't so hot. I'm going to keep track of all the valuable lessons I've learned today from reading these.
Lesson #1: If you don't pepper your speech in random Japanese words, watch a bunch of anime, and/or like tentacle porn, your opinion on video games is invalid.
Lesson #2: When reviewing a game, make sure every word longer than 3 letters links to the dictionary.com definition of it.
Lesson #3: Every bad review is because of bias.
Lesson #4: All reviews should be done with the expectation that every aspect of the game, from the graphics engine to major gameplay systems will be fixed in the future with patches.
Lesson #5: Reviewers without day jobs have a wide variety of career options available if the whole video game thing doesn't work out.
Lesson #6:When commenting on a review, the most effective way to get your point across is to go off on a wild nonsensical tangent that appears to be a response to a comment. Make sure the "comment" you're responding to doesn't actually exist.
Lesson #7: If an exclusive on your platform of choice isn't reviewed well, just throw out some random insults towards other consoles to deflect attention.
Lesson #8: If an exclusive for a platform you don't own isn't reviewed well, make sure you rub it in.
Lesson #9: If someone is rubbing it in, start making outrageous comparisons. This is a good time for some serious namecalling to start.
Lesson #10: Every time you insert the world 'fail' into a sentence, the effectiveness of your argument exponentially increases.
Lesson #11: lol tard head
Final (and most valuable) Lesson: It's all about eyeballs.
I hope everyone got some educational value out of this. Take these lessons to heart and apply them to your everyday internet interactions, and soon YOU could be featured on an upcoming edition of FBF.