Fanboy Friday: Sexbox 1080

8:00 PM on 02.26.2010   |   Jonathan Ross

59 comments

Alright. I feel like I'm fully recovered now. Let's get this show on the road.

This week, we'll be taking a trip back to YouTube, but not to look at videos. Instead, we'll look at what people have to say about the recent release of Bioshock 2. Looking at review scores has become almost predictable -- I'm reaching a point where I know exactly what everyone is going to say before I even start digging through comments. People complain about a score, then compare the game to another game, then start fighting about system superiority, then call each other names.

It's not going to be different this week. Hit the jump.

Here we start with the typical and expected whining about the score this game got. This video review gave it a 9.1. For one commenter, this is .3 too low.

9.1? this deserves a 9.4! Big daddy project delta wipes the floor with Jack!

The next commenter would think the previous on was an idiot, because this game clearly deserves .1 more.

this should have got 9.5 i mean really@~!!!!

One commenter takes it too far, though. An extra .6 points? That's just ridiculous.

Fanboy 1: hmm i would believe the review would be at least 9.7

Fanboy 2: you dont make sense spaz, and 9.7 for real? go back to school

Fanboy 1: uhh im in high school... also 9.7 is reasonable the first got 9.7 and I would believe this one is just as good maybe better. also how did I spazz i said hmm i would believe not holy fuckin titpot this game should've got 9.900998768 to the power of 3. i didnt do that did I?

One self-proclaimed reviewer goes the other way. I'm not sure if I understand his rating criteria though.

10 years later and they didnt even make Color tv's facking fail.I give it a 8.5

Before we move on to the direct comparisons, I want to take a brief look at my favorite conspiracy theory: That Game X got a "terrible score" (like a 9) because the maker of Game Y (a game in a totally different genre that came out 2 years before) paid them lots of money.

i definitly think they were payed by rockstar i mean the game is good but

Do you REALLY think Rockstar is sitting around concerned that Bioshock 2 might get a score close to what GTAIV got? This is less common though than the accusation that console makers are paying for scores, and this is where we enter the "Game Comparison" phase.

i cant wait for halo reach..oh its HALO and its Microsoft so lets give it a 9.7/10 ...oh its the new batman game...lets give it a 9.0 out of 10 they give high scores to games that don't deserve them..im dissapointed that bioshock 2 is getting 9.1 it should be at least over 9.5 but its getting 9.1 because its "too familiar" ..how is it that modern warfare 2 got 9.5 ?? MW and MW2 now that's what you call "too familiar" you fail just like my bad grammar!

Everyone from both sides of the fight gets in on this.

I like how resistnace 2 got a 9.5 and this a 9.1 this is retarded

Multiplatform games even get thrown into the mix.

it deserves A 9.5 THATS A FITTING SCORE SO R U TRYING TO TELL ME THAT BATMAN ARKAHAM ASYLUM IS BETTER THAN BIOSHOCK 2? UM HELL NO

Modern Warfare 2 is the most popular game to get into a fight about, it seems. Every other comment thread is a mass group of people whining and bitching about it.

Fanboy 1: 2009 was such a fail year for games, this year is turning out much better, and dont want people crying saying how good mw2 was

Fanboy 2: why is this hate against MW2?.the game has sold millions of copies and has gotten several high reviews.Its dumb to hate a game just because it has become very popular.Oh,and 2009 had many great games,yes,yes it had.

Fanboy 3: No people hate it because its a buggy unbalanced spamfest

Fanboy 4: buggy?,nope.Unbalanced?.nope again,the game is balanced,most people dont knowing how to take down choppers is not an issue from the game.

Fanboy 5: Actually MW2 is more balanced and accessible than the first. Players that aren't as experienced as other fps experts can finally get a slight edge above other players.

Fanboy 6: you could have just said the game was made for casuals, there isnt anything good about that you wanker.

And then we get to the actual console fighting. The reviewer wasn't impressed by the graphics? OBVIOUSLY THE PS3'S FAULT.

did it say the graphics aren't as good as its predecessor? I can only blame ps3 for this sorry!

First up is a fanboy who is actually mad that it's a multiplatform game, instead of being a PS3 exclusive.

This game is fucking gay,i wish this game was on the ps3 only but nooooo...xbox 360 has too gimp this up,imagine if this game was on the ps3 only...

At around the same time, we have the same sentiment, except from a 360 fanboy. The 360 fan statement sets everyone off, and triggers a massive fight about exclusives. My favorite part of this exchange: the use of "Sexbox 1080" as an insult.

Fanboy 1: cant wait to get this, it should of stayed an exclusive for the 360 and pc only but since ps3 dont have many good games its only ffaiirrrr hahah

Fanboy 2: lol ps3 got all xboxgames exept halo and gears and some other stuff that peaplo dont even know,since 2009 all ps3 exclusives kick ass ,and some older too like MGS4 and Resistence2, now theres MAG and uncharted2.....all PEAPLO STILL CAN PLAY ''xbox' games like batman and assassinscreeed2, =) now that was fun!!!!, you need to watch more reviews or actually buy a console, i bet that you dont have the ps3 AND xbox, just a shitty PC that runs Pinball3D with choppy framerate

Fanboy 3: uncharted 2, demon's souls, infamous, ratchet and clank, resistance, littlebigplanet, god of war, uncharted1, and metal gear solid, the only good exlusives for the sexbox 1080 are mass effect 2 and halo so xbox 360 sucks bitch

Fanboy 4: just like a fanboy to get mad hahah ratchet and clank was a bust, risistance was wack metal gear solid was good(360 is getting metal gear solid exclusives from now on bro)

Fanboy 5: ratchet was dope back in the ps2 days but i got bored of it now, gears was one of the first for 360 and people still play it since 05, dont get me wrong both systems have there pros and cons but the only thing i would get a ps3 is for blu ray.

Fanboy 6: xbox has no exclusives worth buying...if its on pc as well its not a exclusive so what good games does xbox have? DOA4? i own both plz tell me what TRUE exclusives xbox have and i tell u a ps3 title thats in the same genre and BETTER. xbox has no games and yet they charge u to play them when u can play them for free on other platforms..fucking joke

Fanboy 7: Alright. Halo 3 Halo 3: ODST Dead Rising Fable 2 Gears of War 2 The list goes on. Remember: Look before you troll!

Fanboy 8: Lol ODST was a joke. Gears 1 was better than the 2nd and it's on pc. Dead Rising is fun I'll give it that. Halo 3 gets boring way too fast. And Fable 2........Fable2........The only fun thing to do is running around killing civilians with a clockwork pistol and then evading arrest.

Now that they're all fired up, the 360 fanboys get more aggressive.

Fanboy 1: you know wy the ps3 gets no good games like this beides uncharted 2 becuse no game idustrys want to publsh their games for a platform that sucks

Fanboy 2 (No one had talked about ME yet): Mass Effect its not even exclusive since i can play on my pc with bette graphics and peformance!

Fanboy 3: naw its that xbox is the lesser system and they want to make multiplat and its easier to make something with little quality then put it on something with higher quailty..if they developed for ps3 first then they have to downgrade to put it on xbox..u cant blame the system cuz ps3 has shown what it can do with the right developers. the best GAMES on ps3 and they exclusive. the only game i seen come from xbox thats any good is mass effect. i own both so dont bullshit me.

Fanboy 4: I used to own a 360 before I sold it and got a ps3, and the only game i bought for my 360 was Mass Effect, I played Halo 3, Gear 1 & 2. And they all sucked.

Fanboy 5: i owned a ps3 first then bought a xbox and i swear to god the difference in quality is like, HOW DO WE COMPARE SYSTEMS?? xbox hardware should be compared to wii or ps2..i see now that i own both that all the ppl bashin ps3 dont own a ps3, and the controller is only good for shooters...dont play a fighting game for christ sake..and buy plentty of AA batteries. i need to turn my tv up so i can hear the game over the loud ass hdd in the xbox. the system is bullshit, and i refuse to pay for online

Fanboy 6: Its pretty funny how a lot of people that are "360 fanboys" say the 360's online is soooo much better.....What about the people that don't want to pay $20 for a few months and pay for online in general. And my best friend, he has a xbox and the internet box or whatever its called is too far away to connect it to his xbox. Glad to see someone else refuses to pay for online like i did (when i had ma xbox).

Fanboy 7: ps3 is a viable platform. because it doesnt overheat. get your facts straight fanboy.

And finally, we hit the final stage -- flat out name calling.

Fanboy 1: ps3 fat kids wet dream on ps home shit pad shit software an shit games

Fanboy 2: Dude your such a fanboy, I'm done with you. Ps3 is a great console stop going for low blows that don't even hurt the console. Wow install times make sure the game runs smoothly, it has the HDD space to do so. Updates are mandatory and every single system even pc has them, *DUMB SHIT*

Fanboy 3: ur a clown mate i own both ps3 an xbox an the xbox is a class ahead ps3 is a great blu ray oh an thats it cuz the rest is shit i mean u dnt even get a headset wen u buy 1 an u waste half ur life loadin an waitin 4 updates wooooow bbc iplayer 2 fuck off mate

Fanboy 2: i like how you talk shit about the ps3 when you dont even give it a chance instead you buy it only for your stupid fucking blu ray discs i would rather have a ps3 then a 360. unless you want to keep buying multiple 360 from the RED RING i dont think you would spend hundreds of dollars on many more 360 consoles i wouldnt unless your dumbass dont have a job and have you parents get you systems for you. Oh one more thing learn to spell DUMBASS

And this was my favorite one. Apparently getting the "best game ever" ranking wrong by 3 places means you're a homosexual! Who knew?

Fanboy 1: Gears 2 sucks, ME2 sucks, Halo3 sucks, and this will suck!!!!!!

Fanboy 2: Mass Effect 2 sucks? 70 sites reviewed it and give it an average 9.6 average according to gamerankingsDOTcom, 2 million copies sold in 2 weeks, 10th best rated game ever in the history of gaming and more important, what do the players think? 6,000+ players at Gamespot give it an average 9.4. Congratulations, you just made a complete fool of yourself.

Fanboy 3: its 13th u fag

And that's all I could take before the migraine kicked in. Get excited though...Final Fantasy XIII will be out in less than two weeks, and then we get God of War right after! I can't wait!