Each week, Fanboy Friday takes a look at some of the most ridiculous, asinine, and unintentionally hilarious comments made by fanboys from a variety of gaming sites.
The votes from last week are in! We've tallied them all up, and the clear winner was ELPRESADOR! StegosaurusFace managed to pull a very, very distant second place, and everyone else lost to the original Chad Warden. Congratulations guys! Normally we would ask you to come up and give an acceptance speech, but I don't think we want to hear any more of the crap that spews out of your mouths.
This week, we're going to be taking a look at an interesting thread from the GameSpot forums. A guy made a very well written post calling out everyone who constantly demands that "X should be free!" A pretty rational discussion of how businesses work, DLC, financial decisions, and so on. I think you can guess how this ends.
Hit the jump.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not really a huge fan of DLC. If I see something that I think is stupid or not worth the money, I don't buy it. I never have and likely never will buy alternate costumes because they don't have value to me. To some people they do, and that's cool.
I don't really fault companies for trying to make a bit of extra money, and in some cases, they even actually do a good job with DLC. I do think there are legitimate arguments against DLC and paying for online play. That said, most people don't make legitimate arguments. Most gamers, apparently, literally cannot fathom why they wouldn't deserve to get whatever they wanted for free.
People began quickly posting doomsday scenarios of what will happen if we don't shut down DLC forever:
pretty soon we'll buy a game for $50 and it will have the single player and multiplayer modes and the single player mode will have the tutorial already unlocked!!! .... THEN once you beat the tutorial, for the low low price of $5 you can download the first level, beat it and for only another $5 the second level of the story mode is all yours! rinse and repeat for 10-50 levels. but man once you get to that last level, you better be prepared to pay $15 because not only is it the last level it's also the ending of the game and they know you want to watch that!
Maybe they should charge you for plugging in your controller, and each time you wanna play one of your games
A lot of people are also really angry about having to pay for XBL. While I can kind of understand their frustration, some of them make some pretty stupid arguments. Like that a 10-20 hour single player experience is a "demo".
SO your basicly saying we are paying 60 dollars for a demo. Doesint make it sound any less worse. I mean when we download a trail may it be for a game demo or program demo we are not paying for anything. So yea its understandible we cant use everything,but then making us pay for the full program then saying nope even after paying full price you have to pay just a bit more to unlock such and such is just underhanded. Even if you outright saying "even though you paid in full for this your going to have to pay a bit more in order to get the full use of this program" its like pointing and laughing at the consumer.
This guy is a brilliant businessman. I can't wait until he starts his company and makes millions of dollars with his genius business model.
if there are ads on the service regardless of whether you pay for online or not, multiplayer should be free
Hey guys, I don't know if you realized how serious of a problem paying for DLC or Live is, but you really should be aware of how awful the whole thing is.
defending this si like defending cancer
I guess no one should have complained about slavery and it shouldn't have been banned because it existed for so long. Right?
Other people seem to equate alternate costumes and online play right up there with basic necessities for life or required social institutions.
breathing has great value, the goverment should charge us for that...
Health care because everyone should be allowed to be healthy... ? Eductation because it's better for everyone if more people are educated? Well that's why I think Online gaming should be free. Everyone should be allowed to play online... and online is better if everyone does play online...
You don't pay a fee to eat a sandwich.
This is more sad than fanboyish, but this guy is responding to someone who says that he's forced to pay the fee if he wants to play with friends. :( Awww.
I dont have many friends to begin with (social anxiety, dont ask 
) anyway lol, so i dont understand that feeling, but i can see how being forced to pay when you want to play with friends can be a problem
Remember kids, if you're having a discussion on the internet and feel like you're losing, immediately discredit everyone who doesn't agree with you with SCIENCE.
Do you have a statistically valid sample backed up by an analysis that proves the statement "My opinions I'm sure are shared by many"? No, you don't. There is no proof that can be obtained that can back up what you say.
Um, WHAT?
Lets bring theives, murderers, rapists, drug addicts into this shall we. They all have their opinions to justify their means but they definitely arent normal opinions
Are you trying to escape the fact that I'm right, I know the truth hurts and all. But you just gotta accept that opinions are just that mere illusions in our minds. There is an invincable hand in the sky telling us what is wrong or right. And my opinion is right.
you sound like a bloody capitalist corporate crazy man. Honestly, don't give into these corporate thugs, they will stab you in the back.
And finally, probably the wisest words of wisdom we've had yet:
Do what I did. Go to college and get a nice paying job. Dont have babies during your teens/young adult years.Then you can basically afford anything related to gaming.
I have no idea how this happened, but somehow this DIDN'T devolve into an argument about PSN vs. XBLA, so I guess you can feel KIND of good about humanity since people managed to (mostly) stay on topic.
Next week I will be on vacation at Hitogoroshi's place for the amazing Baltimore NARP. You all should come (AND BRING A TOWEL). I'll try to get a column out, but it's likely I will be too drunk or hungover, so no promises. I may just post NARP photos instead.
Contest:
5:00 PM on 04.24.2009 | 
Praise be to common sense.
That fee is called "Having a Heart Attack".
you sound like a bloody capitalist corporate crazy man. Honestly, don't give into these corporate thugs, they will stab you in the back."
That has to be the best comment out of all of them.
Wow a nugget of sense among all that crap, who knew?
AMEN
How can something like digital extras be compared to something like one of the leading causes of death? Then again, I'm not a big fanboy as some of the other examples so I wouldn't know. I pray for that day to never come.
Also, those last bit of words. Just sheer brilliance.
Dying of cancer is a choice. We have to pay for DLC or else our digital horses will be unprotected.
Also these tards should pay double
I mean come on - "everything should be FREE". DLC takes time to make, it costs money to make, because programmers don't work for free ya know. We have a thing called "wages" which must be paid for people to "work". It's a pretty simple system to understand.
And I can't believe the idiot who said:
"breathing has great value, the goverment should charge us for that...
Health care because everyone should be allowed to be healthy... ? Eductation because it's better for everyone if more people are educated? Well that's why I think Online gaming should be free. Everyone should be allowed to play online... and online is better if everyone does play online.."
First off, moron, the government doesn't charge for games or online play - companies, PRIVATE companies make and charge money for THEIR games. THEY make it, THEY set the price. Don't like it, well "wah wah cry some more" and your own damn games.
You also know that games AREN'T essential for living or for a career, right? That games are a LUXURY not a RIGHT, and thus the gaming companies have a bloody right to charge X amount of dollars for ANYTHING. Don't like it? THEN DON'T BUY GAMES! It's not like education or healthcare - you DON'T need games to have a reasonable life.
Eventually the market will always set games down to a point where people can buy them. Game companies aren't going to start charging hundreds of dollars for a single title, because that would drastically hurt their sales and drive people away. At the end of the day, the company must remain profitable and must present a resonably attractive price. If enough gamers don't like DLC, then it won't be profitable. If DLC becomes too expensive or too pervasive, then people won't buy it and the company will go bust. It's called a FREE MARKET. And if gamers are stupid enough to pay outrageous prices at the expense of their living conditions and their lives, well let them. But we haven't reached that point yet.
did you breathe in at all while you were saying that?
Now I finally have a response for when people ask how I can afford to buy every Rock Band DLC pack that comes out. Three cheers to that guy for having a brain!
......<ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL>.
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Depending on what what that was a response to it doesn't sound all that bad of a comment. Arrogant yes, but possible fitting.