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Fanboy Friday: Killzone 2 Edition

4:00 PM on 02.06.2009 // Aerox

It's Fanboy Friday again! And boy do we have some good stuff for you this week.

As most of you know, the Killzone 2 reviews have been pouring in, and most have been very positive. PS3 owners have been anxiously awaiting a good, solid game for quite a while, and they appear to have gotten it with Killzone 2 (I have to say, the video of the guy who rushes the level with 1 hit knife kills still makes me skeptical, but...). Across the board, Killzone 2 has been getting excellent scores -- it currently has a 93 on Metacritic, and almost all of the review scores are 9s and 10s.

Except one.

One foolish website,, did a pretty damn positive review and ended up giving Killzone 2 an 8/10, calling it a "defining PS3 exclusive blockbuster" and an "essential purchase".

As you can imagine, this didn't go over well. Hit the jump for some mass idiocy.

When I was writing this up, there were already 440 comments on the review. There are TONS of hilariously stupid comments, but I went through individually and picked out only the very best, just for you. If you feel like laughing for a really, really long time, I suggest going through and reading them all. A lot of the drama comes from the way they round their scores -- certain categories are given more weight than others, which apparently people can't comprehend.

The comments start out back in 2007 when the game was first announced, and feature some boring squabbling over graphics and the 360 versus the PS3. The good stuff really comes when the review score is released. Here we go!

First, we learn that reviews shouldn't be based on the game, but on how badly a console needs good titles and how much the reviews will personally insult the developers.

you guys are [#@!?]ed up for doing this to a console that really needs its premier title

...You have absolutely no class whatsoever..You might as well resign now because people will be demanding that you be fired immediately after insulting every gamer not to mention the developers who worked their asses off to bring this masterpiece to the gaming world...

Next come the insults.

Look at this! What have i see?! yeah.. a S.HIT sexbot fan make a review of a PS3 game... Stupid as.shole

learn how to review a game and maybe wouldnt be a microsh*ting fagtart

what is that smell of Bill gates semen? Oh Chris leyton farted.

the reviewer obviously loves to buttfuck his 360 to death

Apparently, "sexbot" is an insulting word for the 360. I'm not entirely sure why, since a sexbot sounds AWESOME. That second guy gets it. "Microshitting fagtart" is probably the greatest insult I've ever heard, and I'm going to actively try to work it into my vocabulary.

Some people show that they're clearly better reviewers than Chris Leyton.

i give your review a 2 for originality and a 10 for douchebaggery

Before playing the game off reviews and vids I'd give it a 9/10.
Whew! I'm glad someone else does reviews by watching videos. I thought I was the only one...

This guy wins the "Commenter of the Year" award.


And finally, I like to end with a couple voices of reason -- the people who generally speak the truth and know what they're talking about.

An eight is a excellent score. I don't understand how everyone can get up in arms over a score which suggests that a game is better than 80% of all other games. Oh, I know why, because you all read pandering, bull[#@!?] websites that hand out 9's and 10's like candy to a school of retards. It sure would be nice to see sites that actually used the whole scale. [Ed note: Hey! We do that!]

lol fags if this was on the wii it would be a huge success

See you next week!

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