It's Fanboy Friday again! And boy do we have some good stuff for you this week.
As most of you know, the Killzone 2 reviews have been pouring in, and most have been very positive. PS3 owners have been anxiously awaiting a good, solid game for quite a while, and they appear to have gotten it with Killzone 2 (I have to say, the video of the guy who rushes the level with 1 hit knife kills still makes me skeptical, but...). Across the board, Killzone 2 has been getting excellent scores -- it currently has a 93 on Metacritic, and almost all of the review scores are 9s and 10s.
Except one.
One foolish website, www.totalvideogames.com, did a pretty damn positive review and ended up giving Killzone 2 an 8/10, calling it a "defining PS3 exclusive blockbuster" and an "essential purchase".
As you can imagine, this didn't go over well. Hit the jump for some mass idiocy.
When I was writing this up, there were already 440 comments on the review. There are TONS of hilariously stupid comments, but I went through individually and picked out only the very best, just for you. If you feel like laughing for a really, really long time, I suggest going through and reading them all. A lot of the drama comes from the way they round their scores -- certain categories are given more weight than others, which apparently people can't comprehend.
The comments start out back in 2007 when the game was first announced, and feature some boring squabbling over graphics and the 360 versus the PS3. The good stuff really comes when the review score is released. Here we go!
First, we learn that reviews shouldn't be based on the game, but on how badly a console needs good titles and how much the reviews will personally insult the developers.
you guys are [#@!?]ed up for doing this to a console that really needs its premier title
...You have absolutely no class whatsoever..You might as well resign now because people will be demanding that you be fired immediately after insulting every gamer not to mention the developers who worked their asses off to bring this masterpiece to the gaming world...
Next come the insults.
Look at this! What have i see?! yeah.. a S.HIT sexbot fan make a review of a PS3 game... Stupid as.shole
learn how to review a game and maybe wouldnt be a microsh*ting fagtart
what is that smell of Bill gates semen? Oh Chris leyton farted.
the reviewer obviously loves to buttfuck his 360 to death
Apparently, "sexbot" is an insulting word for the 360. I'm not entirely sure why, since a sexbot sounds AWESOME. That second guy gets it. "Microshitting fagtart" is probably the greatest insult I've ever heard, and I'm going to actively try to work it into my vocabulary.
Some people show that they're clearly better reviewers than Chris Leyton.
i give your review a 2 for originality and a 10 for douchebaggery
Before playing the game off reviews and vids I'd give it a 9/10.
Whew! I'm glad someone else does reviews by watching videos. I thought I was the only one...
This guy wins the "Commenter of the Year" award.
DO YOU THINK WE ARE STUPIDS? CONFUSING MY ASS! YOU SHOULD REVIEW THIS VIDEOGAME AS A GAME NO FPS AND YOU SHOULD HAVE FAIR PARAMETERS TO REVIEW GAMES. i HAVE PS3 WI AND XBOX 360 i LIKE ALL FOR SOME REASONS. YOU ARE BIAS MAN.
And finally, I like to end with a couple voices of reason -- the people who generally speak the truth and know what they're talking about.
An eight is a excellent score. I don't understand how everyone can get up in arms over a score which suggests that a game is better than 80% of all other games. Oh, I know why, because you all read pandering, bull[#@!?] websites that hand out 9's and 10's like candy to a school of retards. It sure would be nice to see sites that actually used the whole scale. [Ed note: Hey! We do that!]
lol fags if this was on the wii it would be a huge success
See you next week!
Contest:
4:00 PM on 02.06.2009
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...apparently so...
http://g4tv.com/thefeed/blog/post/692992/Sesslers-Soapbox-Killzone-Mailbag.html
I don't remember this stuff making news for other games, but I'm pretty sure it happens non-stop.
*cricket noise*
Thatsthejoke.jpg
I think statements like this are part of the reason PS3 fanboys are so rapid. I've been playing a ton of good, solid games on my PS3 for months now. *shrugs*
I also want a game called Mass Idiocy.
HAHAHHAHA that´s a great comment.
Although it is possible he accidentally turned capslock, in which case it's funny that he doesn't capitalize sentences.
YOUR ARE BIAS MAN.
I left G4 becuz of the tards. And all their news is usually 1 or 2 days old...Destructoid and shacknews seem to be the most up to date with smart normal people
"how can he say modern warfare and halflife 2 are best first person shooters ever, cod4 had the worst one player story ever and halflife 2 had no multiplayer! BS , ive played this game and its brilliant, how can they say it dose nothink new Yes it dose , just from a tech point of view its imposible to run on a 360 or most pc s. and the multiplayer is full of new fresh idears. and wtf is the stupid reviewer talking about long suffering ps3 owners ? [#@!?] u . mgs4 , uncharted ,motorstorm the list goes on , if mgs4 is suffering the bring on the hurting you [#@!?]s! BS !!!!!!!"
Please please please,
next time, put some artistic renditions on what the commenter looks like.
You now, pictures of ugly-as-hell nerds next to the comments.
Really, i cant imagine any of this guys has seen any womam for life...
I hope they use "microshitting fagtart" in conversation.
That is all.
"This must have already been brought up but: 97 92 90 77 86 = 88.4. Mr. Leyton, you need to learn to how to round good sir."
That is indeed true. And it seems, this isn't the first time that reviewer has had issues with a review and rounding it up.... Or down as this case illustrates:
"Please refer to the Lord of the Rings: Conquest review by Chris Leyton for this math
(61 68 49 58 28)/5=52.8 using his apparent method for averaging it should be a 5. wrong dear old chris gave it a 4. i thought he was biased against the ps3 for a second there but it turns out he is just a complet moron"
Yes, the people are still fucking morons for getting pissed at an 8, but I hope you recognise that they suckered us for hits, and we bought it.
And again, the problem isn't that other sites don't use the whole review scale, it's that 90% of games that get released (the TRUE "shit" games) don't even make a blip on the review radar. I mean, go look at the recent Wii reviews on gamerankings.com at any given time and you'll see DOZENS of scores of 5/10 and below.
The whole scale IS getting used, people just don't seem to realise that 5 IS actually around the average review score for games when you actually take into account ALL of the released games and not just the high profile ones.
It makes me want to grab these morons individually (or collectively, it would save time) and shake the shit out of them and scream, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!" Seriously, who would get so worked up about what a goddamned website thought of a game, or whether other people prefer a different console than you do?
But then again, I know that these folks are just mentally fucking sick, and because they love games their mental illness has caused them to latch onto console manufacturers or specific video games. If they were born in a different time or place, they'd be blowing themselves up and expecting a paradise with a few dozen virgins or burning "witches" at the stake, I suppose.
How is it that the internet either makes people not care how they come off to others, or care *too much*, to the extent that they fume and freak out about what others enjoy or do with their spare time?
It's like Dead Rising with even more zombies. You can shotgun a couple of them by trying to explain to them how fucking stupid they are or how to put together a rational argument, but soon you just get overwhelmed with idiots, and guess what, they can't fucking read or comprehend simple concepts anyway, and pretty soon you realize how hopeless it is.
*sigh*
That line kind of scares me. This 5-year old is suggesting that review scores should depend on factors unrelated to the actual game.
It feels like this already happens, at least somewhat (you mean to tell me reviewers go into the next zelda, final fantasy, GTA or Halo NOT expecting to give a high score?) It's impossible to get rid of all bias, but god damn how awful would it be to give out a score like that kid wanted.