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Fanboy Friday: F*cktarted 2

5:00 PM on 10.16.2009 // Aerox

You all knew this was coming. Despite the ridiculous amount of games that have been released in the last few days, this column could really only be about one thing.

Uncharted 2.

Let's do it.

There's all sorts of reviews we could have pulled from, but for this extravaganza I've settled on YouTube, just because it's always the funniest. We'll be taking a look at what people thought of IGN's video review of the game. I would ask if you could guess what happened, but I think it's way too obvious. Get ready, because this is going to be a long one.

Fifth comment in? Score whining.

9,5? cmon.. deserves at least a 10 

No one wants to hear it:

shut up

And Halo is brought up for absolutely no reason, and off we go.

I stated my opinion. You shut the fuck up. too bad you won't be playing this game. Well, I guess you guys at least got Halo ODST *cough* 2 year old game with 3 new maps * couch*.

The guy who said shut up? DON'T WORRY. HE HAS BOTH SYSTEMS.

i have a ps3 and uncharted 1 so shut your face

People start criticizing Halo's mechanics with poor spelling!

wow man you cool, you can actually preform an action called *couch* *claps* *claps* 

Someone fires back with how Sony can never kill the PS3...

nothing sony does will cause the xbox 360 to die. they already released killzone 2 and metal gear solid 4 which are the hard hitters but they didnt really shoot down the xbox 360 or give the ps3 the status its last gen version had.

...which, of course, prompts the following:

Yup only thing that can cause the 360 to die is the good ole RROD thanks to microsoft. 

With people bickering like this, one guy is concerned!

true hope you ain't a fanboy or as i call'em fagboys.... the reason is those who are buying the PS3 now already owns and have loved at least their Wii or 360, had Sony launched PS3 with 399 things could've been much different

'MarioChief' tries to end the fighting, which in his mind means calling someone a faggot.

Look im serious we have good games as well. Such as halo series, MGS 5, gears of war, FF13, WET, Splinter Cell conviction. You have some good games as well. But i am really serious why do people always argue about this console war why cant we just stop? oh and 'AleAC77' your a faggott.

That was actually a really popular word this week.

dude this game is only for the ps3 faggot xbox cant handle this game not even the opening scene lmao 

Eventually, the 360 owners get really riled up.

god im so glad i didnt spend my money on a ps3. it only has like 3 good games. ign just got payed to give this POS a good review. everyone knows its mediocre at best. best game of e3 my ass. i'll be playing halo odst, cause i know for sure its better then this game!!!

Obviously this game will be TERRIBLE!

9.5 and you know its gonna be shit boring. just look at it. seriously the ps3 is lacking...mgs4 was boring, resistance was boring, haze was boring, socom was boring. ps3 needs to wake up and get to work

And here comes the serious back and forth between the PS3 owners and the 360 people. Point!

ps3's own 360 ps3's have better games and hardware 360 is cheap shit that has faggit games like halo so suck it xbox 

Counterpoint!

faggot games? cheap shit? the last time I checked the ps2 sold more than the ps3 last year. And the 360s games are great. Gears of War, Forza, Halo..... used to be bioshock. just be quiet.

Rebuttal!

The fanboys speak the truth. MS prides themselves over their first person shooters, third person shooters, shooters, etc. And all the xbots confirm it by bringing up those such games. I can't name one big 360 title that does not involve mindless shooting, space marines killing aliens, or using a firearm period. I have even been seeing lately that 360 users admit PS3 is getting a lot better exclusives and are considering getting a slim. The PS3 is affordable now, go buy it :)

Riposte!

Sony has never achieved any real success in video game industry. they have always played 3rd fiddle to MS and Nintendo. PS2 games were overrated and because Sony is known to pay reviewers off. Only Microsoft provides excellent games. All other video companies that ever existed are stupid garbage. xbox 360 is better than life itself.

The PC crew gets in on the action!

I would also like to say PC > Gaystation 3 and MeatSpin360 

Oddly something about this triggers the 360 kids in full force. For a while it was just back and forth, but at this point the 'Xbot' swarm comes forth.

naughty dog are a bunch of faggoty ass dumb shits who steal ideas from movies and other xbox games and make their own bullshit unitarted drake's cocktune and unfarted among fags. ya all are bunch of dick fuckers who like sucking sony's dick. 

One clever boy has figured out the secret to how any PS3 game has ever scored above a 4.

no you dumb fuck loosemeatwrap, that is how Sony sucks reviewers cocks and in exchange get higher ratings. example: littlebigfaggots. that game is as dumb shit as they come, yet it got higher fucking ratings? scribblenauts beats littlebigpussies by a huge margin and actual creativity, not presumed one.

I mean, just look at this list of games for the PS3!

Gaystation exclusives:
-Resistance fall of man: Resistance man on man
-M.A.G : Men Ass Grabber
-Jak & Daxter : the lost homos
-Gay of war 3
-Unfamous
-Metal Gay Solid 4 : The Movie
-Faggot fantasy xiii versus
-Shitzone 2
-Little big faggot
- Heavenly Whores
- FolkWhore
- Ninja Gayden 2 sigma
- HAZE = cant think of 1
and last but not least....
Fucktarted 2: Among Faggots 

But wait! Apparently he forgot one, as his friend is so eager to remind him.

you forgot. Gay turismo 5 and RatSHIT & Clank 

This stellar humor is not lost among the rest of the YouTube commenters.

made me LOL so hard, probably one of the best comments on this 

Do you think the PS3 fanboys are going to take this lying down? No! Let's talk about Gears!

Gears 2 had one of the crappiest launches ever with ridiculous bugs and horrible lag.

How do you respond to this? By talking about Uncharted's graphics! And the demo!

the demo multiplayer on this game is retarded. im sorry but socom is far far superior. and gears of war and resident evil graphics blow this game away. uncharted 2 looks bloody awful and the same for how it plays. its crap either your blind or something. if you havent played the demo yet, try it out your self and look very very very hard at the graphics. its not good. seriously socom ( which i like ) and mgo is better. as is a lot of other games , to many to list. uncharted multiplayer after hearing so much looks like crap ign are full of shit for this review. id give graphics a 7.5 at the best. maybe watch some more videos and look at the game and not just believe what your told !!!!!!!!!

As we saw earlier, the best way to convince people of your position is through a list. This guy does an amazing job -- he's probably captain of the debate team at his middle school.

ours:
gow 3
mag
well theres too many to list

theres:
jack shit 

One person, when asking a particularly loud fanboy to shut up, mistakenly ended with 'por favor'. What do you think he got back?

This is America. No fucking spanish. Speak English or get the fuck out. Go to fucking Japan and suck Hideous Kojackme's cock so he can give you another Metro Gayers Solid cock.

So, everyone is bickering back and forth. Out of nowhere, with no prompting whatsoever, someone randomly brings up the DS, and then screams about how he hates Microsoft.

 ok, i have a ds, not a dsi, and let me tell you, it is a piece of shet. All of its games are either 2D, or have VERY bad graphics. I do not have a DSi, and it may be better. And really, WTH ARE U DOING HERE IF YOU DON'T LIKE PS3 GAMES! YOU THINK XBOX360 IS SO GREAT, GO WATCH SOME HALO3 TRAILER OR SOMETHING. AND MOST PEOPLE I KNOW DON'T BUY THE PS3 FOR THE GAMES, ITS FOR THE BLUE RAY PLAYER.

What does this do? RETRORAGE GO!

you are a fucking moron if u dont like 2d games,. 2d games are the best games ever. thats how i know u aint got DS or DSi, or that you were born in 3d console era, which is to say u r a fucking 12 year old stupid idiot shitass bitchass dumbass retarded piece of monkey shit.

A guy whose username has 'Kumar' in it tries to be polite to everyone, so of course he's served a heaping helping of racism.

listen, harold and kumar, fix me a sandwich and pump some gas in my SUV ok, cuz dats wat u foreigners are good for. Real Americans buy American consoles. Real gamers buy real console such as XBOX and XBOX 360 and the up and coming XBOX 720 and XBOX 180 (Portable) 

At this point, the conversation has gotten boring. Everyone is just using the same stupid arguments, and nothing original is being said. That is, until someone comes up with this:

Homosexuality!!... Nathan Drake becomes the first spokesperson of homosexuality in the video game world (no matter how crappy U2 is it is still technically a game)...I mean just look at his buns. Do you think they put them there for the ladies? No, they put them there for you guys. It is pretty obvious that Drake is gay. Just look at the train level that is quite clear what that symbolizes. Dont you see Naughty Dog is trying to turn you gay. Just look at this poor soul

That's right. Uncharted 2 is part of the gay agenda. It's turning your sons gay. I would end here, but this response is too good.

funny how you noticed his buns fucking fag get out of the closet 

At this point, I literally can't handle reading anymore of this, so I suppose we'll end with some words of wisdom, since we haven't done that in a while.

Stop bitching about which console is better and just enjoy the fucking games.

See you next week, where hopefully we'll get something out of Borderlands.



Aerox,
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