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Fanboy Friday: 'Bag of Douche' Edition

5:00 PM on 03.06.2009 // Aerox

Who doesn't love Sonic the Hedgehog? Apparently Matt Casamassina over at IGN, since his recent review of Sonic and the Black Knight scored it at an unthinkable 3.9. What is a fanboy to do when they find out the game they've been looking forward to might not be that good? If you guessed that the fanboy would stop for a moment to think rationally and decide that either maybe they hyped the game up for themselves too much, or that maybe they and the reviewer have different tastes and that difference of opinion is allowed, you guessed wrong.

Read on!

Something I've noticed in the last couple weeks are accusations from fanboys that giving a high or low score to a game gives some sort of perverse sexual pleasure to the reviewer. Trust me, I've tried it - attempting to wank to the thought of Halo Wars getting a 2.0 didn't do it for me. Giving Imagine: Babiez an 8.3 did though, but I think that's just because an 8 looks like boobs.

I think the IGN reviewers are getting an orgasm every time they say something bad about Sonic or the franchise.

Some people saw that Nintendo Power (the magazine owned by Nintendo that named Shadow the Hedgehog the "Best Platformer of the Year" in 2005) gave Sonic and the Black Knight an 8. Others noticed that 3.9 is a lower score given to totally dissimilar games by completely different reviewers. Everyone came to the same conclusion though: BIAS!

dont get confused by this!!! they gave tenchu an 8!!! GS gave it a 5!!!
they want to kill waggle and games rated E for wii!!
also they do it to pursuit you from buying these and go to buy Madwolrd like zombies!!
30 days pre realese coverage¿? this is insane
ok meybe you like "harcore" (no meaning word for me) games, but please be objective with your reviews

I'd be more convinced of this review if not for Nintendo Power giving it an 8.0. And for the last few years, they've been a lot better both with score

Nintendo Power gave this game an 8. IGN is just being stupid.

You just plain hate the Sonic games. This site is hypocritical with reviews, "wriggling" IT IS THE EXACT SAME WII-REMOTE CONTROL AS IN ZELDA: TWILIGHT PRINCESS. That game recieved great reviews, and sonic team decides to use a similar mechanic, and you gripe about it! Oh! I almost forgot your camera complaints! Sega could make a completely 16-bit 2d sonic game, and you would still bitch about the camera! I also examined your "scoring", I averaged all your scores except the 3.9, and it averages to a 6.1. And guess what? 10-6.1=3.9! You just took your scoring on what you liked about the game, and threw it away! Coincidence? or sabotage? In conclusion, get a life, get a replacement, get a better attitude, AND GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!

So if experience has taught me anything IGN giving it a 3.9/10 will equal out to an 8.5/10 to me.

lolz the IGNorants again being a bag of douche! I dont believe any of their words anymore they really suck.

A lot of people think giving a game anything lower than a 5 is just "mean". Why are reviewers such assholes!?

Okay, 3.9 (how about "4", what's wrong with that number?) is overkill...even a 6 would dissuade people from getting the game, if that's your intention. 

Sonic Team changed it to a more ergonomic, so to speak, design. Lo and behold, here come complaints about that too. No one seemed to have a quip when Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess got a set up of almost the exact same controls, yet as SOON as that hits a Sonic Game, boom, here comes the whining.

A few commenters just start defending the game, without having played it, with some REALLY terrible logic:

This game is alright. Sure you have to fight enemie after enemie with a sword but when they annouced the game and showed trailers thats what they wanted you to do. If your that stupid to come expecting something else then you seriously are not a gamer your just a dumb idiot who im surprised who know how to even put the game disk in the system.

this game should get at least a 7 for its high production values and amazing graphics for wii
although i've never played this game i just can't understand how ign can say it has no sense of speed when nintendo power doesn't say anything bad about its gameplay and actually praises its quick pace

I don't really know what this one is saying (I think it's in Portuguese...), but I do know that it starts out with "Drug of Nintendistas", and that's good enough for me. Also, Nintendista is my new nickname for Holmes.

Droga de nintendistas...
sempre que ha um jogo do sonic na área eles ja esculacham.
Pelo que me parece o jogo nem foi lançado e ja o detonaram. por isso que eu prefiro a gameSpot, acho que eles deram um 6 basico. =)
Não sou "ista" mas pelos videos que...

And finally, some people provide some helpful closing comments:

For everyone not planning to buy it or rent it solely on this one review, why don't you just quit video games altogether? Remember when we would play a game WE thought was fun? Not what some guy who probably hasn't gotten laid in his whole life. Don't judge this game because some guy who you don't know says is crap. There are a million people in this world who hated a popular game. YOU be the judge if this game is good or not

Its like finding that really pretty girl
banging her...
then finding out she has AIDS.

See you next week for the Miami edition of Fanboy Friday!



Aerox,
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