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This week's fake game is one for the record books, and it's brought to you courtesy of tazarthayoot and, as always, Fronz's mad Photoshop skills. The game is Onimusha: The Game: The Movie: The Game: Starring Jean Reno, and it's got more badass French people than you can shake a goddamned stick at. Says tazarth:

Jean Reno plays himself in a past life, where he is also named Jean Reno. He's a captain underneath the shogunate lead by Lord Nobunaga, who is also played by Jean Reno.

During the battle of Reno-deska, he realizes that Lord Nobunaga is evil incarnate, but realizes it too late, and he and the rest of the clan (all played by Jean Reno), are left for dead. Jean Reno wakes up pissed off and decides he'll start killing zombie after zombie (played by Jean Reno) until he makes his way back to Nobunaga, for an amazing swordfight finish atop a giant mountain (played by Jean Reno), and that final fight scene is also choreographed by Jean Reno.

I've decided that there should actually be a game for this as well. It will be dubbed Onimusha: The Game: The Movie: The Game: Starring Jean Reno.

Gameplay is a RPG puzzle game.

And really, I just want a photoshop of Jean Reno fighting himself on top of a mountain made up of his own head. Is that so wrong?

No, it isn't, tazarthayoot. Dreams do come true.


Continue: More Onimusha stories





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17 comments | showing # 1 to 17

MechaMonkey's Avatar
MechaMonkey at 06/22/2007 21:32
And so it was given the name Onimusha: The Game: The Movie: The Game: Starring Jean Reno, and it was glorious to behold, and the people who bore witness to its majesty trembled and wept, giving cries of adulation unto the heavens.
TheStripe's Avatar
TheStripe at 06/22/2007 21:34
I peed a little.

Seriously funny shit, right there.
Jsun's Avatar
Jsun at 06/22/2007 22:16
i see you guys photoshopped in my render of Nobunaga Oda from Samurai Warriors 2. Thanks!!! :(
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar
deiga-the-semivaliant at 06/22/2007 22:17
Merci.
SLiFE's Avatar
SLiFE at 06/22/2007 23:10
I'd play it.
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 06/22/2007 23:10
His eyes stare into your very soul.
Xeniteone's Avatar
Xeniteone at 06/22/2007 23:16
I really think my brain just imploded a little bit. Could have used the words 'Jean' and 'Reno' anymore in that. It's like that old skit on Kids in the Hall, where Scott Thompson is climbing up Mt. Scott Thompson, but I think he gets eat by a giant Scott Thompson. Anyway, Mt. Scott Thompson was just Scott Thompson's thigh. Oh, the good old days.
bleep's Avatar
bleep at 06/23/2007 00:28
I really like the fact that this game is based entirely on the planet JeanReno. I can jump in my spaceship, the "Jean Reno", and fly to this wonderful place. I will tell my pilot Jean Reno, "Listen to me Jean Reno, I must get to the planet Jean Reno by 23 hundred hours Earth Time, or my dog, named Jean Reno, will starve to death!!!

Hmm also...JEAN RENO!!!!
grrza's Avatar
grrza at 06/23/2007 00:43
It took me like 5 minutes to realize this game wasn't going to star Janet Reno.
bleep's Avatar
bleep at 06/23/2007 00:58
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 06/23/2007 01:01
I've been laughing for the last 10 minutes straight, you can ask Snail and Dvddesign.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 06/23/2007 01:30
This game needs more Jean Reno.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 06/23/2007 01:45
Ladies and gentlemen;

TAY - ZAR - THE - YOOT

Moving on.
MechaMonkey's Avatar
MechaMonkey at 06/23/2007 08:02
rofl @ grrza
HammerTiem's Avatar
HammerTiem at 06/23/2007 09:54
This is so funny that I cried!
Niero's Avatar
Niero at 06/23/2007 10:51
I have the biggest shit-eating grin on my face. This article made my weekend
Kotua's Avatar
Kotua at 06/23/2007 12:02
Who the f*ck is Jean Reno?
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