Quantcast



erere

After inadvertently insulting the community manager for F.E.A.R. 2 at E3, he -- for whatever reason -- added me to the mailing list for all further updates on the game. I've been on lists like this before, and (at least, in my experience) it's typically as boring as it sounds: the developer bothers me with press releases once every few months leading up to the game's release to get me excited for the inevitable review copy, until the release day finally comes and they suddenly decide not to send me a review copy after all (presumably having realized who I am).

With F.E.A.R. 2, though, things were slightly different. This weekend, I received a manila envelope in the mail, with no return address, with my name misspelled on the front (that, or someone named Anthony Birch is going to be really angry to read I got his package by mistake). The envelope included three equally confusing items: a handwritten note, a DVD, and a small key.

Curious, but fully realizing that my curiosity was all part of some orchestrated PR plan simultaneously designed to further advertise F.E.A.R. 2 and turn me into its marketing representative, I closely examined the contents of the parcel. I found slightly more than I expected to.

Hit the jump for more. 

The handwritten note explained: "Anthony -- Watch the DVD. It explains everything."

So I did.

And it didn't.

The DVD included a single QuickTime file, labeled "Anthony." Upon double-clicking it, I was greeted by a video of a shadowed face with a distorted voice, speaking into the camera in hushed tones. He said something about the previous information I received (an in-character psychic ability survey from the Armacham Corporation I was sent a week earlier, seen below) being some sort of trap, that I was in danger, and all those other neat things you invariably get told when you're part of a national Alternate Reality Game-cum-viral marketing gimmick. 

erere

Then, he told me something mildly surprising: the address of a storage facility a few streets away from my house. He told me to take the key to the storage facility and retrieve a case that had been left for me. After getting the case, I was meant to post about my experience and I would be given a code to unlock it. The marketing savvy on display was impossible to ignore: my childish hopefulness and curiosity would lead me to go get a locked case, and that same hopefulness and curiosity would force me to give F.E.A.R. 2 more press in order to open the damn thing. 

After spending about fifteen minutes trying to figure out how Monolith planted a suitcase less than a mile away from my home (I'm still not entirely sure how, and it's been irritating my dad since Saturday), I got Ashley Davis and Ash Burch to follow me to the facility as rape protection.*

We arrived at the storage center and, after using the code supplied by the letter, we managed to get into the specific section our case was being held in. As we approached container #301, I felt something like apprehension. Whatever lay inside the container would either be really lame and underwhelming, or would be so neat that I'd have to blog about it and thus become part of the massive Warner Bros. marketing machine.

erere

My curiosity overwhelmed my pretend dignity, though, and after walking through a wonderfully shady hallway, I opened storage room #301. 

True to Monolith's word, there was a metal case inside, closed with a combination lock.  I didn't know what I was expecting, but the fact that there was an actual metal case (and a cool-looking one, at that) sitting in an actual storage facility near my home made me feel like a little kid on a treasure hunt. Only this time, there was some sort of actual treasure.

Ash reacted to the find as one would expect her to.

erere

Case in hand, we went home. I had a basic idea of what I was supposed to do: I'd stare at the case for a few days, make the post you're reading right now, and would get a combination to open the case a few days later.

Like everyone else in the history of the world who happened to be in possession of a combo-locked suitcase they can't open,  I spent about fifteen minutes randomly twiddling with the numbers to see if I could guess the right combination solely out of luck.

I couldn't.

erere

I wondered what was in the case. It couldn't be a review copy of the game. The release date is too far off for them to send me a review copy two months early -- and barring that, why would they want to make it difficult for me to review their game, anyway? It couldn't be a copy of the first game, unless they really wanted to waste my time. More likely than not, the case probably just held another clue, which would lead to another clue, which would lead to another clue until the game's eventual release. 

I threw the case onto my bed after irritatedly shaking it back and forth a few times in an attempt to divine its contents. I sighed heavily, wore Ashley's hat for a while, and took a nap.

After I woke up, I went to my friend Grant's house and he pried open the suitcase with a screwdriver. 

erer

*And by "protection," I mean "bait." If someone had managed to fake Monolith credentials and was really luring me into some sort of rape/mugging trap, I presumed that they'd find at least one of the Ashl(e)ys preferable to me, thus giving me the necessary time to escape and maybe call the cops if I felt like it.








More gaming stories around the web. Got news? Submit yours to tips@destructoid.com



Post a comment! You can also post a photo below:

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

93 comments | showing # 1 to 50
prev
next 50 comments

glandseck's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:46
glandseck
So, uh... Am I missing something, or did you just holding back on purpose..? I somehow can't shake the feeling that something essential is missing from this here story.
Jamie McGinn's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:46
Jamie McGinn
Well? WHAT'S INSIDE THE BOX?!?
pendelton21's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:47
pendelton21
...and? What the hell was inside?!!? DAMN YOU AND YOUR CLIFFHANGERS, BURCH!!!
ThunderHeartXI's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:47
ThunderHeartXI
So we don't actually get to see what's in it? How disappointing. Though I have to agree that it is quite creepy. Here's to you not getting raped by Monolith/random strangers.
PhazonYoshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:48
PhazonYoshi
And... WHAT WAS INSIDE?
the Golden Avatar's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:48
the Golden Avatar
What a tease you are, Mr. Burch.
Budboy311's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:48
Budboy311
NO!!! WHAT WAS IN THE CASE!?

I think it ate the Rev.
Jurnigan's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:48
Jurnigan
And... And... And...?????
Funky Goodness's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:48
Funky Goodness
THEN WHAT?!?!?
The Scientist's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:48
The Scientist
Sharing hats is how you spread head lice. Bad Burch.
dontstaylong's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:49
dontstaylong
....and??? i need to know what happened, burch.

i'm so suckered in by this kind of PR stuff.
the Golden Avatar's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:50
the Golden Avatar
Read the alt text on the images.
gotdurnrite's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:50
gotdurnrite
WHAT'S IN THE BOX!?!

/Se7en
Half left's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:51
Half left
You cheated to get it open.

Feel appropriately ashamed, Burch.
FreedomToast's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:51
FreedomToast
instead of opening it, you should of buried it and never spoke of it again
Danl Haas's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:51
Danl Haas
Cliffhanger ending?
Dead Movie Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:53
Dead Movie Star
2 Ashleys one suitcase.

But otherwise I am waiting to be disappointed by the conclusion.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:54
Bob Muir
GOD DAMMIT TELL US WHAT'S IN THE CASE NOW THAT WE'RE DRAWN IN
BattyAdroit's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:54
BattyAdroit
I hope it was some coupons for Arby's. God, I could go for some right now.
nademagnet's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:54
nademagnet
William Somerset: California, tell your people to stay away. Stay away now, don't - don't come in here. Whatever you hear, stay away! John Doe has the upper hand!

David Mills: What's in the box?
Funky Goodness's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:54
Funky Goodness
@Dead Movie Star: 2Ash1Case.
wittynickname's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:55
wittynickname
Twenty bucks says it's Gwyneth's head.
Puppy Licks's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:55
Puppy Licks
OMG OMG OMG YOU JUST BROKE THE GAME!!!!

I am impressed :D
ThunderHeartXI's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:55
ThunderHeartXI
Also, 2 Ashleys 1 Suitcase.
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:57
mix
What THE FUCK?

I read all that only to not get anwhere, I ran in a damn circle.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:58
AgentMOO
Spoiler: It's Marsellus Wallace's soul!
Kyvon08's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:59
Kyvon08
wow.

THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING MEEEEEE!!!!!
AKK's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 15:59
AKK
DAMN YOU ANTHONY BIRCH!!!!!!
TheDirtyHobo's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:00
TheDirtyHobo
It was probably a picture of his family being bound and gagged somewhere with captions saying "You cheated."
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:05
Darren Nakamura
Um. So what was in it? Also, I still think it's weird that we were already friends with separate Cushman cousins before we knew each other.
4knuckleshuffle's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:05
4knuckleshuffle
BUT WHO WAS PHONE?
eternalplayer2345's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:09
eternalplayer2345
I always love really good AR campaigns
kwaselow's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:09
kwaselow
LET'S SEE WHAT'S IN THE BOX!

NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! STUPID! YOU'RE SO STUPID!
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:09
BahamutZero
it was a piece of paper with the mysterious words "you just lost the game"
everybodyruns's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:12
everybodyruns
They won't actually be upset because they never defined any rules. If they gave you a case, it's yours to open.
mo0man's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:16
mo0man
Cocktease
SirRobin1's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:21
SirRobin1
DEAR GOD MAN!! WHATS IN THE CASE
Joanna Mueller's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:21
Joanna Mueller
You're gonna get it now, monolith knows that you cheated and they are gonna send their assasines to take you out. Nice knowing ya.
4knuckleshuffle's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:25
4knuckleshuffle
So when can we get that 2 ashleys 1 suitcase video?
Cube's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:27
Cube
I want the yoshi shirt.
Stratus's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:31
Stratus
for those who don't know:

www.armacham.com

Have fun :D
Jetsetlemming's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:36
Jetsetlemming
Spill it, damn it.
Slique's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:36
Slique
One of the Kotaku editors also got a similar briefcase. He posted his account on the site, and even linked the video. Though he also stayed privvy on what was contained in the case. :(
Syn's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:38
Syn
What an awesome way to advertise your game. It just sounds like fun doing it. Imagine if you were actually in some danger! Hehehehehe
absolutzero's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:38
absolutzero
Or you can Google your way into the case and find out it's only full of your typical game merch. No, I didn't so it may or may not.
grafkhun's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:45
grafkhun
fourth picture is hilarious, maybe you should feed Ashley more often so she won't try to eat or blow metal cases? hmmm... how 'bout that. Anyways, not to enticed to know what's in the case, like you said, most likely just more clues.
Spartacus's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:51
Spartacus
I want to make a game company just so I can lead random internet bloggers on strange treasure hunts for merch.
Xaitil's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:56
Xaitil
DEAR GOD MAN! WHAT IS IN THE CASE?!?!
austenw's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:58
austenw
OMG! You can't just do that! What the hell is in the case dammit!
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 16:58
MaxVest
I've got a fever brought on by viral marketing, and the only cure is MOAR BRIEFCASE.
prev next 50 comments

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!