Quantcast


ESRB rates Bayonetta: Torture attacks and jiggling breasts  photo

Praise be to the Entertainment Software Ratings Board, otherwise known as "the eternal leaky faucet of videogame news." The ESRB has today rated Sega's hardcore action game Bayonetta, and revealed a few juicy tidbits of information in the process, including "Torture Attacks," which serve as the game's finishing moves.

"This is an action game in which players assume the role of an ancient witch who battles angels and demons while uncovering the mystery of her past," states the ESRB's game summary. "Players use hand-to-hand combat, magic attacks, and pistols to kill enemy creatures that often spray blood when hit. Players can also perform an assortment of over-the-top finishing moves – referred to in the game as "torture attacks" – on the creatures: impalement with an iron maiden; decapitation with a guillotine; dismemberment with a chainsaw; and summoning a demon that bites, then rips characters apart.

"During the course of the game, some female characters perform suggestive taunts and poses, including opening their legs or gyrating their hips. Some of the more provocative outfits are shed during battle, resulting in brief depictions of buttocks and breasts. The camera occasionally pans close-up on breasts as they are jiggling. Strong profanity (e.g., "f*ck," sh*t," and "a*shole") can be heard throughout the dialog."

I think publishers should just hire the ESRB to work on their marketing, because their summaries make games sound totally sweet. I'm more sold on Bayonetta after reading "close-up on breasts as they are jiggling" than I have ever been, and I was pretty excited before.








More gaming stories around the web. Got news? Submit yours to tips@destructoid.com

Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize. Likes PS2, iPod Touch, Silent Hill 2, Metal Gear Solid, Dynasty Warriors 3 Meet the rest of the team



Post a comment! You can also post a photo below:

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

32 comments | showing # 1 to 32
prev next

embef's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 11:43
embef
Awesome.
sicPOS's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 11:46
sicPOS
I need this
Jack Maverick's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 11:49
Jack Maverick
I can understand how all the language, violence and jiggling physics can warrant an M rating. But they don't mention how her outfit is magically-powered through her hair so as she gets damaged, she removes more "clothing" from her person.

In other words, the more you get hurt, the more nude you become. This could easily be the only game where we actually get rewarded for playing terribly.
Chronic Logic's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 11:50
Chronic Logic
Fatalities like Mortal Kombat? Execution like Manhunt?

Bang!
PappaDukes's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 11:50
PappaDukes
"This is an action game in which players assume the role of an ancient witch who battles angels and demons while uncovering the mystery of her breasts,"

FIXED.
superflossy's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 11:53
superflossy
Duh, it's rated Mature. Little boys can't handle a real WOMAN.
Mista Smegheneghan's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 11:54
Mista Smegheneghan
Why is it I always giggle when I see the word "buttocks"?
kidko's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 11:57
kidko
fuck yeah this is gonna rock
loki d20's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 12:02
loki d20
Rated 'M' for Slutty Librarians.

I'm honestly not into this game at all until I see some reviews. It looks just like DMC with two extra weapons to manage, which usually means simplifying all attacks as a whole (quality) in order to keep up with the quantity.
Black Nexus's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 12:06
Black Nexus
Awesome, when does this come out?
Juicy's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 12:07
Juicy
ESRB thanks for the preview!
Count Grishnack's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 12:10
Count Grishnack
Hip gyration? Double sold!
grasslunatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 12:14
grasslunatic
Wow I am excited now, thanks ESRB.
Phantom Spaceman's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 12:31
Phantom Spaceman
Jiggling breasts will destroy polite society.
pascuz46's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 12:40
pascuz46
Wait a minute a Mature rating!? Are you serious! and I was looking sooooooo forward to this game, no anymore!

:(
Analitic's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 12:41
Analitic
no info on cup size ESRB?...will have to wait for the review, color me unimpressed if they are a size A jiggling whatever...
SephirothX's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 12:54
SephirothX
Sold
Vanilla Gorilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 13:09
Vanilla Gorilla
"Why is it I always giggle when I see the word "buttocks"?"

Because you think of Forest Gump showing his ass to the president. That being said, this ESRB rating just sold +1 copy.
Janledroxa's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 13:26
Janledroxa
God of... i mean devil may... i mean dante's... i mean Bayonetta 4TW.
Trev's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 13:36
Trev
I was already pretty hyped up for this game, and chainsaws and booty aren't bringing that, or anything else, down.
Jon2309's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 14:17
Jon2309
Totally sold.

Also, bewbs.
Demtor's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 14:27
Demtor
Way to be awesome Sega!
Aetsen's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 14:45
Aetsen
I only see one weird shaped tit.
Naim Master's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 17:38
Naim Master
I was so un-hyped for this game , it looked like DMC for dummies , but after "The camera occasionally pans close-up on breasts as they are jiggling" and "suggestive taunts and poses, including opening their legs" I got sold .
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 17:57
mix
Done and done! This game is now going to be added to my library!
Mr Kite's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 19:12
Mr Kite
Aside from the obligatory FUCK YEAH! I just wanna say that I don't know how game companies can stand having information about their games given away all the time through ESRB. And from a consumers point of view, remember when Earthbound got a rating from ESRB? yeah well now apparently the law says it's not coming out. So I got my hopes up for nothing. phooey.
Corak's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 19:21
Corak
Sounds good to me
NESgamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2009 21:14
NESgamer
Hahaha i agree, ESBR makes the game sound so frikin cool xD, mostly on the suggestive things and people getting torn apart.

Sweet
MowDownJoe's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/24/2009 08:26
MowDownJoe
@Jack Maverick: Damn... I'm going to try to do a low health run. To... challenge myself. Yeah.
Perfidious Sinn's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2009 08:36
Perfidious Sinn
They had me at "gyrating their hips". ESRB is quite good at promoting games, I guess.
Caelum Nocte's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/25/2009 19:16
Caelum Nocte
Dammit, my girlfriend will ne'er let me buy this game.


As for why I put ne'er: Bewbs. That's why.
prev next

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!