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ESRB: L.A. Noire has blood spurts, pubic hair, racism photo

It's yet again time for my favorite kind of post -- ESRB rating summaries! The Entertainment Software Rating Board has finally tackled Rockstar's L.A. Noire, and as you'd expect from a Rockstar game, the details are tasty, to say the least. 

Like always, the ESRB has gone through the violent and sexual content in clinical detail, revealing some hot details. There's tons of violence, with blood spurts and "realistic" gunfights. Plenty of nudity as well, but perhaps not the best kind, considering it's mostly mutilated murder victims with their clothes off. There is pubic hair on them, though ... so I guess that's it's a trade-off. 

There's also plenty of foul language, include some pretty heavy racial terms that would be quite fitting for the game's 50's setting. They'd get me fired if I reproduced them here though, so check out the full ESRB summary below for the censored versions.

This is an 'open-world' action-adventure game in which players assume the role of Cole Phelps, a rookie detective on a mission to stop a deranged serial killer. Set in late 1940s Los Angeles, the game allows players to advance through various 'desks' at a police department (i.e., Patrol, Traffic Squad, Homicide, Vice, Arson) by interviewing witnesses and suspects, searching crime scenes for clues, and apprehending criminals.

Players use pistols, rifles, machine guns, and flamethrowers to engage in firefights with various enemies -- these shootouts are highlighted by realistic gunfire, cries of pain, and blood spurts that stain injured characters and the surrounding environment. Cutscenes also depict instances of violence, including a character being beaten with a crowbar (off screen)—large spurts of blood are depicted in the foreground.

During the course of the game, players may come across crime scenes in which badly beaten or mutilated corpses are subject to investigation; players are able to examine victims' bodies close-up, surveying various bruises and bloody cuts for evidence -- a few female corpses are depicted fully nude with fleeting images of pubic hair.

Investigations sometimes pertain to sexual assault crimes, and details are often conveyed in clinical terms through dialogue or on-screen text (e.g., 'He's some kind of sex fiend,' 'Woman's briefs torn at seams, forcibly removed,' and 'Head trauma . . . external bruising to genitals.'). In one cutscene, there is an implication that a character is engaged in a sexual relationship with a teenager (e.g., 'You take love where you can find it as you get older, Jack'/That has nothing to do with love . . .'). Some sequences allow players to collect/manipulate drug-related evidence such as marijuana packets, morphine syringes, or amphetamine pills; in one cutscene, a doctor can be seen injecting a character with morphine.

Language such as 'f**k,' 'sh*t,' 'c*nt,' 'n**ger,' and 'sp*c' can be heard in the dialogue.








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Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize. Likes PS2, iPod Touch, Silent Hill 2, Metal Gear Solid, Dynasty Warriors 3 Meet the rest of the team



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49 comments | showing # 1 to 49
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Onyx Leo's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:23
Onyx Leo
TEHEHEHEHHE, NAUGHTY WORDS!
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:24
Tubatic
stank
Mr Andy Dixon's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:25
Mr Andy Dixon
Blood spurts and pubic hair? Sounds like the threesome I had with my wife and her Aunt Flo last night.

...

Jesus, I think I just grossed myself out.
CelicaCrazed's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:25
CelicaCrazed
Wait, just how much pubic hair are we talking here?? Bush?? Strip?? This is important details we need to know!!
ErrolGames's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:26
ErrolGames
Lets see how they frame the racist stuff. If it's there just to be there then heavy rain 2.0 can go to hell
Xaeius's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:26
Xaeius
Game of the Year... or is that Portal 2.... Both!
n1zm0's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:27
n1zm0
i want to be an ESRB reviewer, you play every game waaay early and just have to 'pretend' to gripe about it.
AceFlibble's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:31
AceFlibble
I misread the title as "blood sports" and got excited for some uncanny valley Van Damme. I am disappointed.

@n1zm0 working for the BBFC is better, your day is mostly spent watching porn.
Super Drybones's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:32
Super Drybones
'f**k,' 'sh*t,' 'c*nt,' 'n**ger,' and 'sp*c'
I'm confused, without the missing letter I don't know what words these are. And if I didn't know what they were before than it wouldn't matter if they were censored. And this is a F*cking rating so using the actual words seems appropriate so the person reading about what curse words are in it will actually know what Fuckin* curse words are *ucking in this Fu*king game.
Starrynight's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:34
Starrynight
When is this being released anyway??
runtheplacered's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:38
runtheplacered
@ Starrynight,

"When is this being released anyway??"

www.google.com
smurfee mcgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:42
smurfee mcgee
"Players use pistols, rifles, machine guns, and flamethrowers to engage in firefights with various enemies--"

Pubic hair + flamethrowers = SOLD.
SithZombie's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:42
SithZombie
Like a 40 year old Serbian
Xi Fayt iX's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:43
Xi Fayt iX
@n1zm0 The ESRB doesn't play the games actually! They just watch a video the publisher/Game designer Submit a video with the worse stuff in and it goes from there. There's a nice graph about it. Google it
Henry_Swanson's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:46
Henry_Swanson
My three favorite things, but not in that order
JohnApocalypse's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:50
JohnApocalypse
And how old is this teenager?
Shinta's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:51
Shinta
Yeah, it fits the time of the game I suppose. But at the same time, I can't help but feel like a rather large portion of Rockstar's fanbase will like the racism for all the wrong reasons. I've always felt that way about their games.
Cahuatijo's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:53
Cahuatijo
Those fleeting images of pubic hair will haunt me.
mateo's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:55
mateo
Pubic hair? Ban this sick filth!
Stigmeyer's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:58
Stigmeyer
@Super Drybones - Hahahah! EXACTLY what I was thinking. Brilliant.
Xzyliac's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 11:58
Xzyliac
That's LA for ya.
fetusmilk's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 12:02
fetusmilk
this game is gonna be amazing
CyricZ's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 12:04
CyricZ
Siiiigh. Not nearly as awesome as DNF's ESRB entry.

Still looking forward to the game, though. ^_^
Pyrex is Metal's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 12:07
Pyrex is Metal
@CelicaCrazed

I saw the scene being described, the answer is very bushy. It was the 40's/50's and people tended to have unkempt situations down below.
PerfectChaos's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 12:08
PerfectChaos
Flamethrower you say? Hells yeah, curious how that fits in the game.
Darckcloud723's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 12:14
Darckcloud723
Just hope I get to fugue out the cases, not having the game drag me to the conclusion with out me trying!
Raggamofyn's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 12:14
Raggamofyn
Sweet. There's not enough racism in games, save Rockstar's. It goes against believability to not have it, at least in the pseudo-Americas they often portray.
Darckcloud723's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 12:14
Darckcloud723
*figure
Jack8274's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 12:20
Jack8274
Console exclusive bullshit. I have to convince myself this game will suck ass like Red Dead Redemption.
Enzi's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 12:21
Enzi
That header image looks disturbingly real. I'm impressed how far they went with the details.
josmeister's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 12:29
josmeister
I am so ready to light those bushes with my flamethrower!
samuraiedward's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 12:34
samuraiedward
Damn. This game is going to be just as racist as Red Dead.

Day one purchase. :D
Camiwaits's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 12:38
Camiwaits
DAY ONE BUY!
SirNinjaFace's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 12:40
SirNinjaFace
Foul language = day one for that SayWord guy! Pubic hair = day one for that NinjaFace guy!
PrivateIronTFU's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 13:01
PrivateIronTFU
@Shinta: Replace 'Rockstar's fanbase' with 'gamers', and you would be on the right track.
nanowerx's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 13:11
nanowerx
Pubic hair? I prefer my games shaved.
Squidoris's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 13:43
Squidoris
I wonder if during any of the investigations you'll be given the opportunity to spread a corpse's butt cheeks and tickle your nose with the victim's anal beard
Live by the Sword's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 13:51
Live by the Sword
Clarence Thomas is definitely buying this game!
Lord Death of Murder Mountain's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 13:58
Lord Death of Murder Mountain
Just like real life...
PrivateIronTFU's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 13:58
PrivateIronTFU
@Squidoris: Thanks for that image.
BikeZombie's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 14:19
BikeZombie
Whoa, The N-word. I can't even think of another game that has included that one. Anyone?
GalacticFerret's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 14:31
GalacticFerret
@Mattrodroid, you know white mans existance biggest treat right now ain´t Obama, mexicans, asians or evil rusians.. it´s a know scietific fact ALIENS & BEARS are out to get you.. watch out!
jawshoeuh's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 14:53
jawshoeuh
@mrandydixon

(barfs)
Commandant Oreo's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 15:53
Commandant Oreo
Patrolling this website almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.
OMGmyFACE's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 15:59
OMGmyFACE
You had me at flamethrower... you had me at flamethrower...
Fission Mailed's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 18:11
Fission Mailed
@BikeZombie

San Andreas says hi
scouserboots's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2011 23:19
scouserboots
Should be interesting game. Not sure if I like the concept of the game though, hopefully it has more life than the victims of the game. I mean how often can you play a crime/detective game?
Vijay Bhagat's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/15/2011 14:10
Vijay Bhagat
Great article. Sad to hear things are like this in Mexico. Wishful thinking and I hope it can be better than what it is now. Thank you very much for this important news. I appreciate your article.Seattle Garage Door
Termadoyle's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/16/2011 10:15
Termadoyle
Wait... flamethrower?!
Also, what the hell is a "sp*c"?
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