It's been quite a while since we had an ESRB content summary to laugh at, but North America's videogame rating board has returned in a blaze of glory.
Today we have the rating for Deathsmiles, a Cave Shooter that a select few people are very excited for. However, you might want to hold off your purchase until you learn what the game contains. After all, do you want to risk your child witnessing a PARTIALLY EXPOSED PELVIS!?
"A menu screen depicts the five central characters posing suggestively in revealing outfits," warns the ESRB. "A couple of static images depict the female characters with partially exposed pelvis and buttocks (e.g., a fairy creature and the heroines bathing). Language such as "a*s" and "bastard" appears in the game."
I love the ESRB. Once again it fails to disappoint, and makes Deathsmiles sound all the more awesome. Read on for the full description.
ESRB Dices Up Deathsmiles [Siliconera]
This is a side-scrolling shooter in which players control one of five small characters that fly through the air and destroy fantastical creatures to save the world. Players shoot an array of projectiles (bombs, bullets, scythes, swords, etc.) at pumpkins, spiders, apples, and monsters in constant air battle. Enemies and objects explode in fiery bursts, breaking apart into tiny, brightly-colored particles; when players are hit, small droplets of blood will scatter. Blood also appears on the face of a giant boss creature’s head. A menu screen depicts the five central characters posing suggestively in revealing outfits. A couple of static images depict the female characters with partially exposed pelvis and buttocks (e.g., a fairy creature and the heroines bathing). Language such as "a*s" and "bastard" appears in the game.
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Contest:
9:40 AM on 06.29.2010
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JESUS!
Seriously though, from what I see of it, if your kids grew up watching Toonami from 2000 onward, they'll be ok with this.
If not, well, your call. I don't think many kids will be totally horrified (most of them will giggle and laugh), but you, we always have some exceptions.
But yeah, the ESRB be silly. They need to write the ratings in a not so serious tone. Maybe then Parents will read them.
Anyways header may be partly disturbing for some :D
Isn't that a good enough reason for you?
Just like when they brought out purple ketchup and everyone thought it was gross. WEll if Ketchup was purple and they brought out a new red version, everyone would then find the red ketchup gross.
PELVIS PRESLEY!
*was totally getting it anyway because he loves bullet hell shooters*
Let's say your parents came round to visit you.
You turn on the tele, flick through some channels and ZOMG nakes girls come up for a second. You'd feel very awkard.
It would just be super awkard if EVERYONE WAS NAKED.
ans? aks? als? aws? axs?
Censoring words is one of the most stupid things ever.
There's an article?
DAT PELVIS
Actually, they all have quite well developed chests and posteriors? Last I looked (if you pardon the expression!), you need to be of a reasonable age to have assets like that. I think you're jumping on the hentai=childpron bandwagon there...