***A work in progress because I'm bone idle. Bone idle and handsome. Bone idle, handsome and single.****


Good morning, afternoon, evening or witching hour. It doesn't matter which. It's just lovely to see you! Welcome to my Destructoid abode.

You're looking at my profile page, so you must want to know a little more about me which I'm more than happy to divulge. Before we continue I must insist you speak only when spoken to and refer to me as Mr or King.


(Remember that pale and pasty mask. One of these days you'll see it in lights. Followed by a siren).

I've been gaming ever since I was yay high. Before you were born I suspect, so please respect your elder. Don't make me grab my slipper.
My first ever console was the Commodore 64 which was handed down to me by my uncle. Oddly, I've heard similar scenarios have happened to a lot of people I've mentioned this to. Uncle's may be the gamer's equivalent of a Fairy Godmother?
Not long after that life changing event, we were handed a refurbished Atari 2600 that even my mother enjoyed. Afterward we naturally moved onto the NES and so on and so forth. Thus is the circle of life.
Over the years I've called almost every major console release my own at some time or other. Not because I'm incredibly wealthy. Far from it in fact. Check my bank balance if you don't believe me. The truth is, I'm incredibly cheap when the time calls for it and hunted them down in various pawn shops and dark alleys.

Things that tickle my fancy:
Sexy single females. - Zooey Deschanel will be the first I wed.
Cats - I will die alone surrounded by them. I've promised people this. I don't want to be called a liar now.
Writing - If I don't end up with a career in the game industry, I'd like to find a job in journalism.
Games that are found on disc, cart, umd, or internet torrent site - My tastes are pretty varied once they're in a machine. I'll give anything a go as long as it's fun and original or just helps increase my gamer score. (That's right, I'm a mother loving whore and have nothing better to do with my time). The former is of course more important.
I also enjoy nudity. Vast amounts of sexy nudity.



I'm in my mid twenties, a lousy speller, terrible with grammar, verbose and possibly a terrible human being to boot. Luckily I am considered easy on the eye in some circles, so if you must insult me, please remember that I'm very pretty. Face to face you'd want to make love, not war.
I'm also incredibly lazy. I'd love to write my blogs more frequently but I'm too busy doing something else. (like reading other peoples).


Now a lesson in Ancient Geek History. Well mine at least.

This September *COU-student loan pending-OUGH* I'll be starting a 2-3 year degree in Game Design. I'm a little terrified as I see it as my last chance to make a career for myself (especially in an industry I love so much). Until recently (give or take 6-12 months) I worked at Gamestation for 3 whole sexy years, discovering that not only is customer very much an asshole, but so is your head office. With the grades I had (I chose the wrong time in my life to rebel) I believed my only achievable goal was to end up somewhere in middle management. Exciting. Over the years I ended up very comfortable at the 'station. I knew the job inside out, the staff were like an extended royal family to me and the discount was awesome. I was even offered the promotion I wanted. Ultimately though I just wasn't happy there. It wasn't what I wanted out of life. You don't spend your childhood hoping you'll grow up to be a shop clerk someday do you? After a little research I discovered that once you reach the quarter of a century mark, most colleges tend to dismiss how well you did at school. I had an interview and was accepted. I quit Gamestation and thus start a new chapter in my life. Wish me luck and pray to god I don't mess this up!

Now put away those tissues and dry your eyes sweet cheeks. I'm one of god's beautiful people. There's nothing to be sad about. I'm OK really. Besides being incredibly lonely. So very very lonely.



Rare Game(s) of video I personally own:
An original and boxed American copy of Final Fantasy 1 for the Nes alongside the "official" Nintendo Power guide. I've lost the latter, but we wont discuss that.
As Nintendo hates the Europeans (They aren't racist. They just hate my homeland and everything within it) I searched eBay and picked myself up a copy a few years back. I paid a reasonable penny too. Like a member of the Beatles once said in song format: "You can't buy me love, but you can buy me Video Games".

Now for something completely different. Chad Concelmo inspired lists of awesome.
Top 5 consoles I'd take with me onto a Desert Island if customs would let me through the gate with them:
1. Super Nintendo.
2. PlayStation One.
3. My red Nintendo DS lite.
4. Xbox 360 (Though a PS3 would be handy if it RROD)
5. Atari 2600 (If only for the sweet nostalgic memories. #Memories in the corner of my mind.# It would remind me of home).



Top dix games. In no particular order. The numero are for show.
1. Final Fantasy 7
2. Breath of Fire 3
3. Pokemon Blue
4. Bust-A-Move (Snes)
5. Super Mario Brothers 3
6. Resident Evil 2
7. Bomberman (I can't play them around youngsters though. They make me swear like a sailor with tourettes).
8. Metal Gear Solid.
9. Fable.
10. Halo 3? (Because it's the only multiplayer game my sorry rear is good at. In lovemaking, the same applies to girls).



Blogs promoted to the front page:
Improving game communites: I know you are, but what am I?



***Again, Men at work. I'll do it tomorrow?****