I went to E3 to learn about videogames, and I did, but by the end of the show, I had also learned a whole hell of a lot about women.

While hoofing it around the show floor, it seemed to me like there were actually more women at E3 than there were videogames. Now that I think about it, most games in attendance at the show had two, three, or even four "promotional models" apiece. Even Nintendo's booth was brimming with part-time model-looking ladies. They were slightly more classy and family-flavored than the other "professional spokeswomen" at the show, but they were all most definitely "booth babes."

This video doesn't even cover a fraction of the women I met at E3 (God, that sounds terrible). If you're curious about what we didn't get on camera, this video by my new friend Storm Dain does a lot to pick up the slack. He managed to meet the modestly dressed Ninja Gaiden 2 Sigma babes, the so-real-it's-creepy Bayonetta babe, and the 3rd hardest working babe in videogame journalism, Jessica Chobot.

Ugh, all this use of the word "babe" is making me feel dirty. Just hit the jump and watch the video so I can go wash my hands. 

[Update: Got some complaints about not enough pics in the gallery, so I added a few more. Also, due to popular demand, here's Jessica Hall (the KoF XII girl) in her underwear.)

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A Bristol man has won himself fifteen months of prison for a stockpile of pirated videogames, movies and delicious pornography. 51-year-old Gary Boulter of Thornbury was found guilty of running a copying "factory" in his home.

Trading standards received a tip-off about Boulter's activities, and he has admitted to possessing illegal media worth more than £50,000 in total. He has been found guilty of 23 offenses committed from a room in his house that was given over to the copying of the material, which he then sold to his friends. 

Boulter claims that the copying of games and movies was a "hobby" and that he never charged for his dodgy discs. With 2,300 game and film copies in his house, along with 500 blank DVD-Rs, that's quite the expensive non-profit hobby. Should have stuck to Warhammer. 

In other news, if anybody wants some cheap copies of Spunks-A-Lordy II: The Slaggiest Muff Festival in Croydon, I can sort you out.

The depth of depravity on the Internet rarely surprises me anymore. What does surprise me is when vice slips through a seemingly secure system. Today, HushedCasket stumbled upon something particularly odd on Halo 3’s file sharing system. It was an image of several topless women, instead of the typical Halo 3 picture.

The racy picture was uncovered while a user was browsing his recent players and subsequently their shared photos. The offender’s profile and the picture can be found here for those so inclined to see it. The image is at the bottom of the menu, and is obviously not safe for work or minors.

My first question is, how does one circumvent the system and place this picture into the system? Secondly, is this practice very widespread? I imagine that Bungie will squash this as soon as they realize that people are abusing the system in this way, but this is certainly very odd. Have you guys seen anything like this before while playing Halo 3?

[Thanks, Eric!]

[As originally posted on Japanator.] 

The idea of a doujin game featuring busty fighting game females Kasumi (Dead or Alive) and Mai (Fatal Fury/King of Fighters) isn't too far fetched, but the combat engine of this eroge (erotic game), Fighting of Ecstasy, is a little bit different from what you'd expect.

In this 2D PC game, you play as a faceless, muscle-bound brawler, equipped with tentacle ability. Of course. You "fight" against either one of the girls by clicking all over their body to attack. Your clicks can punch, kick, whip, and... "insert." Then, after your opponent has been taken down correctly, you can proceed to "go down" on her in typical H-game style. Don't worry if you're not a fighting game fan; they don't seem to put up much of a fight. 

It should go without saying that his doujin eroge is not for the kiddies. Japanese Web store DMM.Adult is selling the 85.50MB download for 1,785 yen. On that same page, you'll find a downloadable zip file that contains an awesome NSFW Flash trailer. Let's just say that if Fighting of Ecstasy were an arcade game, then this Flash trailer would make the best attract mode ever.

Hit the jump for some Not Safe For Work details and images of Fighting of Ecstasy.  

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Porn is great for many reasons, but infinitely better than the sexiest all-star cast ever is parody porn, which is so painfully ridiculous that it renders it useless for mastubatory purposes but makes up for it with belly laughs (think Edward Penishands). You may or may not have gotten a giggle out of Whores of Warcraft, the WoW porn parody,  but if you were a fan, there's something new waiting for your caresses.

The newest theme in the WhoreLore series is titled Rage of Bonan and spoofs Age of Conan with some slight differences (the former allows you to actually hammer the chick you rescue, while the latter does not.) It seems obvious which would be the most appealing option to the general consumer, but all I can say is, if you can't holler a battle cry while plunging your mighty sword into the mysterious cave of yore, you aren't really living. 

[ Via Wired -- Thanks, Justin]

My friends, it's almost time to start popping champagne corks, for the glorious day must surely be soon upon us when Jack Thompson's legal career is curb-stomped savagely into a fine red mist. For quite some time now things have been spirally downwards for everyone's favourite self-promoting human car crash. Professional misconduct charges, accusations of insanity, heart problems, and a series of actions not dissimilar to the malformed ravings of a Victorian asylum inmate have been steadily collecting together to built a grotesque portrait of freakery and failure not long for the professional world. With this current news it seems very much like a frame has been chosen for that portrait, and it's a frame sculpted from only the finest grade of tragic comedy. 

Jack, you see, has a long and embittered legal history with a gay activist lawyer by the name of Norm Kent. In a current case, Jack has accused the Bar - yep, he's pulling the "Iz it coz I iz Jack?" card again - of conspiring with Mr. Kent against him, and has stated that this has been the case for the last two decades. Paranoid much? 

In order to "prove" what a deviant his opponent is, Thompson has accused Kent - who runs the National Gay News site - of "distribution of hardcore porn to anyone of any age", and felt the need to hammer this point home by downloading and attaching images of graphic boy-love, completely unsolicited, to his complaint to the judge. In an explosion of the finest irony, the filing of the pictures now means that they're openly viewable on the public record. Nice one Jack! And the funniest part? Well, in a completely unheard of act of fact manipulation from Thompson, the cockular content he sent wasn't hosted on Kent's site at all, rather it was collected from various separate porn sites referenced in its Adult Links section. Well done JT, you've proved you can find gay porn on the internet. I can ride a bike and do my own ironing, you know. 

Judge Adalberto Jordan understandably did not enjoy finding a big load of penis in his papers and so has ordered Thompson to justify his actions and explain why he should not suffer a mighty legal whupping, involving possible contempt charges. Jack has responded with his usual attitude of "But I am blameless, and one day they will all see! Mommy says so!", severely playing up the martyrdom by claiming such an action was required to prove a point and professing that he would be willing to go to jail for his "principles". It remains to be seen how this one pans out, but personally I'm betting on the judge rather than the jester. 

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A well worn, horny, illegally made cartridge of a Famicom game called Super Maruo was sold on Yahoo! Japan's Auction site. The game was quickly snapped up by a pervy collector for the price of 499,000 yen (4,100 dollars) after winning a battle of 167 bids, and this came with no box or booklet.

This ratty old cartridge sold for so much because it is the system's first eroge (erotic game), and a true collectable. According to this site, it originally sold via mail order back in 1986. The company had high hopes for the title, but it was made poorly and had very little content. They still tried to sell it for 6,800 yen (almost 60 dollars today), and almost no one picked it up, making it a very rare title.

[via Canned Dogs ]

Fair Warning: This video would, in no way, be considered 'safe for work'. Also, even within 'safe' boundaries, you might want to turn the sound down.

This video feels very timely. It may have something to do with all of the recent excitement surrounding the new news on Soul Calibur IV, or it might just be me. Yeah, that's it: I saw the most incredible, pant popping Ivy cosplay at Anime Expo this past week, and images of lovely curves and pleather still linger in my mind. Sorry for that.

Even though we may have seen more than enough of Ivy lately, this video (above) gives us just a little bit more. It's not often that the dominatrix type finds herself in a submissive position, and it appears that she really isn't digging it. She actually starts off with a good stomp, but she's somehow overcome and given proper punishment.

We don't know how this video was made, and we don't know what sick f*ck actually created it, but we offer up our thanks.

Make vacation plans accordingly -- the world's first women-only beach, "Pink Beach," has recently opened in the Riccione resort, located in Rimini, Italy. In attendance for the grand opening was Tomb Raider spokesmodel and all around nice British lass, Karima Adebibe, promoting Tomb Raider: Anniversary.

This exclusive female-only area will be completely off limits to men, which will allow ladies to relax and tan themselves without having Nex trying to grope them. What any of this has to do with Tomb Raider: Anniversary escapes me, and I'd like to see the game's sales figures following this event.

I mean, Karima Croft's appearance couldn't have been a PR ploy to simply attract the attention of Italian men, right? Right?

After nearly a year of little to no updates, it would appear that the first-person fantasy Project Offset would be lost in the vaporware chasm of power-hungry software, forever ill-suited for a common man's gaming rig. Nevertheless, these two new screenshots suggest it's on the same warpath as Far Cry: "You're gonna buy a better computer when we say so." You have to see the sick textures on these screenshots. Indeed, PC gaming is definitely not dead.

While they don't reveal much, the progress meter suggests we're going to start seeing a lot more of this game into the year. If you haven't done so already, treat yourself to the 90-meg demo movies on ProjectOffset.com.  I'm really looking  forward to it, as there are few next-gen games that touch these demo videos (cough Killzone cough). Then again, I remember being this excited about Doom 3 and you all know how that story ended.

Also notable -- this binary was hidden in the source code: 

01000001 01101110 01101101 01110010 01101111 01111001
01011001 01100100 00101110 01110000 00101110 01011001 
01100100 01100001 01100010 01110100 01101111 01010101 
01110010 01110000 01000100 00101110 01101110 01101100 
01100011 01100010 01101001 00100001 00100000 00101101 
00100000 01000101 01110011 01110000 00101110 00100000 
01010111 01100001 01110010 01110011 01100001 01110111 
00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01010011 
01101011 01100001 01110100 01100101 01001000 01100101 
01100001 01100100

It was translated to "Almost There Thanks For Helping! - Esp. Warsaw and SkateHead".  I used to write letters like that to my grandfather. He hated me.

Two crazy high-res screenshots attached, first spotted on Digg.

 

As the Harry Potter books become darker and darker, one question repeats itself in many a fan's mind: When will Hermione get naked? Due to the fact that she's leaving the series early to "focus on other projects" and this picture, I'm assuming the answer is "pretty damn soon."

So that brings us to the next, far less important question: Will the games eventually stop sucking? To help solve that mystery, here are a gaggle of new screenshots of the upcoming Order of the Pheonix via Mugglenet. But in case you were really wondering, the answer to that question is no. They are made by EA, which was founded in Australia in 1852, and since only three good things ever came out of  Australia (Martin Riggs, Mad Max, and William Wallace), EA is forever doomed to make crappy games complete with bugs, uninspired gameplay, and broken achievements.

Special thanks to Dtoid reader Megan, who is having a Freddie Prinze Jr.-athon this weekend at her house. If you didn't see the bulletin on your Myspace, then you're not invited.

Today is a sad, yet joyful day. It is with a heavy heart that I tender my resignation at Destructoid. I never thought the day would come, but I'm proud to announce that I have been hand selected by Larry Flynt himself to be one of the new top ten "Nude Girls of Gaming". How could I turn down such an honor? Not to mention, the pay is killer and I get my own white stretch limo with "Nagiko" written down the side in pink glitter. All my dreams have come true in one day. I will miss you all terribly, but this is the true definition of "Living the Dream."

For those of you that would like to keep up with me in future, feel free to come hit up the Hustler website as the feature will be starting soon. Nerdcore, beware: this feature is going to make yours look like child's play. I hear there's an orgy scene coming soon where Wiimotes play a major role. Use your imagination, campers.