In a move certain to draw hordes of people to the service, Microsoft has announced their latest "Game with Fame" promotion. This coming weekend, players of Modern Warfare 2 will have the opportunity to play the game with none other than Dane Cook.

I'll give you a moment to get over your excitement. We ready? Good?

So, I'm just going to put this out there and see what you all think. I don't want to play a game with someone who even casually entertains the thought of Dane Cook being funny and/or someone they would like to spend ten minutes talking to. So, it's my suggestion that we all just stay off of Xbox Live entirely during the hours of 7 - 9pm (PST) on December 27th. You know, just to be safe.

Sledgehammer Games, you know, that fairly new Activision studio formed around Glen Schofield and Michael Condrey? Believe me when I say they are working on something mysterious.

The developer's Web site has just recently gone live, and while nothing has been announced yet, we have an idea of what they might be cooking up. For starters, its "singular purpose" is to "make great action/adventure games" that may or may not star a freakish hammer-headed gentleman.

But when glancing over the job listings, qualifications like a "serious passion for shooters" on "console or PC," being able to "list techniques used to make fun FPS combat," and demonstrating "advanced experience with current multiplayer design" sure do paint a much clearer picture.

The real question -- at least in my crazy mind -- pertains to the hammer guy. Will he be making any sort of cameo in the studio's game? I need to know, because he is the stuff nightmares are made of.

Do you hear that? That's the sound of nerd anguish, my friend.

The announcement of Beyond Good & Evil 2 was something that many gamers had been longing for, and when it finally came it was like a dream come true. Unfortunately, the more time went on, the less Ubisoft seemed willing to talk about it, to the point where one executive even denied the game's confirmation. Now, the inevitable has happened -- Ubisoft has balked on the deal. 

Gamersyde's Colin Solal Cardo was the bearer of bad news, Tweeting the grim tidings: "I got confirmation at Cologne's Gamescom that Beyond Good & Evil 2 is on hold for now. No idea if it's def or temporary but it sucks."

Let's face it, we all had that sinking feeling that BG&E2 just might be too good to be true, and now it seems that Ubisoft has truly rained on our parade. With no clue given as to why the game is on hold, we can only guess, and my personal hypothesis is that Ubisoft got cold feet over the original game's less-than-stellar success. The publisher seemed to announce a sequel almost under duress, like its arm was twisted, and has now apparently decided to renege. 

Frankly, no announcement at all would be better than a bait-and-switch. Guess we'll just have to sit tight and wait to find out exactly what "on hold" means in this case.

Japan's iDOLM@STER games, up until now, have focused on the guidance of potential female pop stars as well as a bit of rhythm gaming, but an upcoming DS release in the series has mixed up that formula up a bit. Or should I say crossed up?

You see, iDOLM@STER: Dearly Stars for the Nintendo DS was already going to sell well, but a new promotional video for the game has revealed that one of the three cover girls is actually a guy, pushing preorders of the game sky high. And now the box art depicting a really tall, flat-chested idol makes a bit more sense.

Again, new character Ryo Akizuki is a trap. In the video below the jump (with translations), you'll see him/her scramble to get ready before the other two girls show up. Ryo has a problem putting his "pad" in, but manages to get that and his makeup done just in time. Great.

[via Japanator, of course]

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This is how Tale of Tales (The Path, The Graveyard) creators Auriea Harvey and Michael Samyn describe their new game, Fatale, which is based on the biblical story of Salomé:

We're interested in the idea of a love story that ends in death, but we also want to include other elements of the tale. The fact, for instance, that Salomé may have been just an insecure girl who was manipulated by her mother, Queen Herodias - who then ends up becoming the real "femme fatale." We're also very sensitive to the political tension that underlies the tale: a Middle Eastern country -- Judea -- occupied by Westerners -- Romans -- at a time of religious unrest --- the birth of Christianity. And this girl, Salomé, just has the head chopped off of one of the most important figures of the time. On a whim, apparently, or for unrequited love, changing the course of history.

That's a hell of a pitch for a game, don't you think?

Here's a little background, paraphrased from the Book of Matthew and Wikipedia: Herod Antipas, king of Gallilee, is married to his brother's ex-wife, Herodias, who has a daughter, Salomé. John the Baptist denounces the marriage, pissing Herodias off in the process. So, Herodias manipulates her hot daughter into "dancing" for her husband, who is so enamored that he promises her anything in the world. Naturally, she requests the head of John the Baptist, preferably without the rest of him.

There's an artsy fartsy twist, though: Tale of Tales' Fatale will be based on an Oscar Wilde play (Salomé), which is itself based on the biblical legend. Wilde's version is a touch different: Salomé ends up (ahem) kissing the severed head of Lil' Jon the Baptist. Fatale will be released on October 5th, the 78th anniversary of the play's first English performance.

It sounds like an ambitious project and I can certainly appreciate the nod to Wilde, but I'm a little wary: our Ahmadinejad-look-alike in residence didn't have many nice things to say about either The Path or The Graveyard, and I can't imagine that Tale of Tales' newest undertaking will be much different.

[Via Offworld; image is Aubrey Beardsley's Salomé]

Ladies and gentlemen, let us introduce the Geda VX690HD, perhaps the most blatantly obvious rip-off in the world. You almost have to congratulate Geda for summoning the kind of stones required to release a system that doesn't even try and look different from the PSP. In fact, I will congratulate them: Well done, Geda, you shameless, shameless bastards.

The VX690HD supports HD and Blu-ray resolutions for MP4 playback, and you can also play GBA, NES, SNES and NeoGeo games on it. It also looks exactly like a bloody PSP! The thing even manages to be wireless enabled, making it one of the higher quality knock-offs we've seen for a while. That said, it could also be made out of paper and sticks, so we don't know exactly how well all this stuff works. 

Make sure you check out the gallery for an amusingly terrible advert for the traversty. I'll be sure to pre-order mine today!

A story is currently flying around the Interwebs concerning a potential release of Final Fantasy IV: The After on Xbox Live Arcade. Apparently, there was a page on Microsoft Japan's Xbox Web site which confirmed the release, including an image and everything. The gaming Blogocube picked naturally went nuts. However, a little digging by our resident tipsters suggests it is more than likely a trap.

We received a tip this morning about how Microsoft Japan allows you to create your own game page, claiming that anything and everything would be coming to the Xbox 360. Super Mario Bros., Metroid, God of War -- whatever you could think of, you could spoof an official listing on Microsoft's own Web site. 

Sadly, however, neither the page that started this whole story nor the ability to create your own releases seem to exist anymore, so we can't tell what's up or down anymore. However, just be warned that the current stories regarding The After on XBLA reside on the most flimsy of ground.

China loves repression like the English love football riots, and today's Communist smackdown comes courtesy of a new law requiring all online gamers to register with their real names online. No more hiding behind a screen name in China. From now on, everybody knows who everybody is, or at least the government knows who everybody is, and that's the main thing.

Zhang Yijun, director of the General Administration of Press and Publication's Technology and Digital Publication Department is cited as the source of this new rule. He also has a ridiculously extravagant job title. 

According to a report in People's Daily Online, this follows the suspense of operations of four online gaming companies who "did not have the mandatory anti-addiction system," whatever that means. Either way, Chinese gamers now have a little bit more bollocks to contend with, so hooray for that.

The deputy head of a Nagoya technical college has been arrested for allegedly using a PSP and its camera peripheral to look up the skirt of a 19-year old woman. The dirty 59-year old administrator supposedly performed the wicked deed on the Nagoya Kintetsu train line.

The alleged incident happened on the 27th, and the man has since been arrested under Japan's anti-stalking laws. Just in case you were wondering, the above image is indeed an official reconstruction of the event -- something that may be useful to any of you wishing to emulate this most sleazy crime. 

Anyway, I think we've now worked out why the PSP is selling so well in Japan.

"Running into a burning building" can be found on my ever-growing list, "Things I Will Never Do Because I'm a Pussy." I understand and respect the role of firefighters, whether they're braving a blaze to save the life of a child or getting a cat out of a tree. But I think I left my balls somewhere, because I can't seem to man-up enough to run into someone's flaming home. 

Good news for those of you like me -- we can finally feel the rush of what it's like to be a fire service professional with the Epicenter Studios-developed Wii title Real Heroes: Firefighters. The game is said to have an emphasis on puzzles that "mirror the challenges and on-the-fly choices" that firefighters face, using the Wii remote to really put players into the action.

Real Heroes will incorporate something Epicenter is calling "Thinking Fire" technology, which will make the blaze come to life, seemingly attacking structures and potential victims, as well as the firefighters themselves. No word on whether there will be a "heated" boss battle against a Class C fire with flame arms. 

Real Heroes: Firefighters is set for a 2009 release.

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Silicon Knights president Denis Dyack has made a heart-tugging statement explaining why he's stuck with Too Human, despite its notorious problems.  

Say "Too Human" to any gamer right now and you can expect a retort tinged with a hint of cynicism. Because of the huge development time that's spanned almost a decade, not to mention the infamous Silicon Knights vs. Epic lawsuit and Dyack's own inflammatory statements, it can be argued that this is a game more famous for its controversy than anything else.

Dyack could have been forgiven for just scrapping the whole debacle, but he has stuck to his guns throughout, convinced in the potential that Too Human has. For those unable to fathom one man's devotion to his creative baby, let Mr. Dyack tell you the reasoning himself, which comes after the jump:

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Ask anybody, I'm a massive Metal Gear Solid fan. For me, Hideo Kojima is a God when it comes to developing characters and storylines in games. This series stands next to Konami's other great line of titles, Silent Hill, and of course, Koei's Dynasty Warriors, as one of my favorite game franchises of all time.

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty was one of the premier titles on Sony's PlayStation 2, and was a prime example of gaming's movement to the next generation. It looked superb, and after the success of the amazing first MGS on the PlayStation, hopes were high indeed.

Then Raiden came along.

After the jump, we introduce the next inductee of the Bargain Bin Laden golden discount shelf of greatness, discussing why it's one of the most awesome cheap titles you can find out there, and why everybody who hated it because of Raiden is very wrong. Stupid, too. 

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Taiwan news sources are reporting on a new study that claims the playing of videogames, especially violent ones, may cause harm to brain functions and have an impact on their learning capabilities and emotional control. On top of all the murders that these games are making us commit, they're now turning us into retards with mood swings ... which might explain the denizens of Xbox Live a little.

The study was undertaken by Chou Yuan-hua of the Taipei Veterans General Hospital. He took thirty twenty-five year olds and recorded their blood circulation and brain activity before letting them loose on the games. After playing, he noted a decreased flow of blood to the brain and declared that the findings are more dramatic in those brains that have been subjected to violent games. With the bloodflow decreased after only thirty minutes of playtime, Chou went on to suggest that children who spend far longer on their game sessions are damaging the frontal lobe of their brains. 

There is no actual proof, as of yet, that reduced bloodflow to the brain can severely damage it, but Chou is pretty sure that we'll all be mewling spastics before the day is done. He backed his findings up by stating that schizophrenics and depressives have a lower bloodflow in their frontal lobes as well.

What do you think, readers? Have videogames made you stupider over the years? Are you an emotional wreck, unable to retain information? Or is this just rubbish? Personally, I feel that videogames have only improved my mind, as I exercise my thoughtbox to strategize and improve my reflexes, not to mention the rare moments of education that my playing has provided me. All I know is, I play games almost daily, and I'm smarter than most of the people I know who don't.

[Travis Kelldorf]

This is the best news I've heard all day. As a self-confessed lover of all things transgendered, the news that Saint's Row 2 will give you the ability to play as a delicious trap is something that I cannot simply ignore. I may have disliked the original Saint's Row due to its completely hamfisted handling of the subject matter and complete lack of irony or wit, but how can I say no to this? Shemales are what make life worth living.

It's all in the customization, you see. About the only thing of any depth in the original was the advanced character creation, which is being taken to a higher level, if the latest game details to surface are to be believed. You can now play as "a man, a woman, or anything in-between." Not many games can let you do that. Well, outside of every Final Fantasy game to date.

Other details include the use of aircraft, which you will be able to fly into one side of a building and out of the other, although not to the point of destruction. A wise move, considering the critics would instantly jump on it as a 9/11 sim. Boats and motorbikes will also come as standard. Additionally, you will be able to take hostages and use them as human shields, as well as dual wield guns and even take things from the environment, like mailboxes or road signs, as weaponry.

Add into the mix a much larger cityspace and a complete two player co-op mode that lets you and a friend play the entire storyline together, and you have a game full of bountiful promise. As skeptical as I was about another Saint's Row, I must admit that this all has me very interested. Of course, I'm mostly just thinking about those tasty, tasty traps.