Prepare your sides for the splitting of a lifetime, because this is comedy you just can't buy! IGN officially gave the PC version of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 a 9.5, but when you compare it to the average reader review, something doesn't quite add up. That's because the reader rating for MW2 currently stands at 1.3!

It seems that a lynch mob of PC gamers, angry over the lack of dedicated servers and 9v9 multiplayer cap, have descended upon IGN's reader reviews like piranha's on a tampon. Post after post of vitriol and hatred have been heaped upon this game and "Insanity Ward," with such scathing reviews as:

I WAS TRYING TO PLAY THE SINGLE PLAYER, BUT I THINK I MUST HAVE BLINKED OR SOMETHING, BECAUSE I WAS AT DA END OF THE GAME BEFORE I KNOW IT. THIS IS WHAT THE SINGLE PLAYER WAS LIKE: SHOOTING GALLERY, FAKE MOVIE BIT, SHOOTING GALLERY, FAKE MOVIE BIT, SHOOTING GALLERY, OVER. IT WAS THE WURST.

And:

This game more fail than the Gov't run health bill that was just passed.

There is just too much hilarity for me to post, so I urge everybody check it out before IGN cleans it up. For posterity purposes, I've taken a few screengrabs as well, because I believe this should be recorded as a great and historic event. I truly believe that this is the greatest moment in American history.

Developers make games for the fans -- or at least they say they do. A lot of times I think it's for the money, but in the case of Insomniac we'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Since they make games because they want people to enjoy them when people don't enjoy them it must be depressing as all hell, especially when that game already has an established audience thanks to the fact that it is a sequel. This is the case with Resistance 2, which scored better than Resistance: The Fall of Man when it comes to reviews, but evidently not when it came to fans. In an interview with Videogamer community manager James Stevenson said that long term fan feedback on the game "weighed" on him.

"The hardcore fans of Resistance 1 were maybe a little bit disappointed. Those folks consistently expressing that - especially GAF - it was like your dog turned on you," Stevenson explained.

"That's the feeling of it. You had this dog that loved you. You loved the dog, too, but they expressed all this affection for you. And then suddenly the dog bites your hand and it's that feeling of, ooh, ow, that really hurts.

"...But the people who put their money down on our game, want to see our game be good and want to invest months of their time into our game, spend months of their time leading up to our game watching videos, reading about it, sending us questions, listening to our podcasts, investing hours and hours and being excited for our game, if they're disappointed then it hurts more than some reviewer being pissy about a game and giving it a seven, well, okay, whatever. I can move on from that. I can ignore that. But fans that are genuinely disappointed are a lot harder to cope with."

I'm not sure if referring to your fans as dogs is the best approach here, but I get what he's saying and he sounds genuinely upset over this. The full quote is even more depressing. Don't worry James, we liked Resistance 2 and we aren't journalists at all.

Did you know what when Infinity Ward revealed the packshot for Modern Warfare 2, some people were bitching and whining that an Xbox 360 box was revealed and not a PS3 one, even though they basically look the same? Seriously, that is what people, some of them grown adults, are like. Apparently it makes Infinity Ward really angry, too.

"I was talking to this one guy recently," explained IW's Robert Bowling, "He was a very angry PS3 user. Angry because he was like 'why aren’t you talking about the PS3 version?' and I’m like, NO, we’re talking about the GAME, not the 360 version. Just the fact that we have to explain that.

"Seriously. Calm down, and just look at this. The game is equal on every platform, so when we talk about a feature of the game it applies to the game as a whole. The console wars really anger me because so much effort goes into ensuring the game is the same on each platform."

Couldn't have said it better myself. You have to be a really, really insecure little man to perceive slights against a cold, hard machine and then choose to take those slights as a personal offense. Could you imagine two people having the same kind of heated fanboy arguments over their favorite type of cheese? It would be utterly ludicrous, but it's really no different to the stupid bullsh*t coming from most of these idiots. 

Also, this is yet further evidence to my point that PS3 fanboys are the worst ones. They're always the ones involved in these anecdotes.

I say looks pretty good because I haven’t watched Metal Gear Solid Philanthropy yet. This fan made movie is 70 minutes long and I’m feeling way too A.D.D. to focus on one thing at the moment. Topless Robot watched some of it at least and says that the CG work is excellent, it has a decent plot and the Solid Snake actor is pretty good.

There’s been a sudden surge in fan made stuff like this. In fact, there’s a couple of fan made videogame movie trailers I may post later tonight. For now, give this a watch and let us know how Metal Gear Solid Philanthropy is. If the video doesn't play for you, you can also download the movie at the official Web site.

Hit the break for some METAL GEAR action.

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Are you ever at a party or similar social gathering, and your group of friends is joined by that one guy? Nobody likes him, but everybody seems to know who he is. Somebody invited him, but not one of your friends will own up to it. He's obnoxious, he's annoying, he's oblivious to the sour atmosphere he inspires, and the worst part of it is ... nobody has the balls to tell him he's not welcome.

That's pretty much how I feel about Sony fanboys. 

You see, Sony fanboys are the worst ones. Don't get me wrong -- Nintendo fanboys, Microsoft fanboys and PC fanboys each have their irritating quirks and infuriating mannerisms, but the Sony fans truly are the worst of a bad lot. In a barrel full of rotten apples, they are the most putrid, festering, blackened pools of mulch at the bottom. Everybody knows this, but like that one "friend" at the party who everybody is too polite to shun, nobody has dared to tell Sony fanboys that they are truly the pariahs of society and need to stop hanging out with the rest of us.

Fortunately, that's why I'm here. Read on as I present my case, and tell Sony fanboys to get the Hell out of our party.

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There's been a lot of talk about the brand new, 2D, high-definition Sonic game. It's been something people have wanted for a long time, and the idea that this could be a sort of “Sonic 4” is pretty damn amazing. We've even got a screen shot and level design for the game!

Except, well, we don't. You see, at the same time that Sega was making their announcement for their new Sonic, code-named Project Needlemouse, a couple of young guys in Massachusetts announced their fan-made game, Needlemouse: The Emerald Hills. Needless to say, the timing was more than a little off, and those level builds are not from the new Sonic title.

However, this fan-made, inspired-by-but-not-endorsed, Needlemouse: The Emerald Hills is pretty damn interesting. I contacted the two guys behind the game, Jono Forbes and Matt Schoen, and talked to them about their project. While certainly big fans of Sonic, Forbes said that “we think we are the perfect age for this product. The first game we ever really played was Sonic 1, and that was my thing...that was my childhood, and that's what got me interested in game design.”

According to the team, the game has been in the works since May, but has been tossed around for the last few years.  Obviously, Needlemouse: The Emerald Hills is an act Sonic-fandom, and they hope to make a game that would act as inspired from the speedy hedgehog's better days. Ultimately, they hope to have a final game for people by spring of next year, although that depends on how things come together.

Before I left them, I asked them about what they would want to see in a new, 2D Sonic the Hedgehog game. Forbes said that “if Sega is going to be remaking the classic, I would assume they would be keeping to the original feeling, as well as trying to keep to the art as true as possible, in a modern HD way; a big distinction between these Needlemice, I think, is that while we are also striving to remake the original feeling, we're taking our liberties aesthetically, and you can expect some radical changes to the look.” For those interested, check out the Needlemouse: The Emerald Hills website to follow up on the project, as well as stay up to date on any updates and beta tests for the game.

Worms enjoyed an exclusive period of time on Xbox Live Arcade before gracing other digital platforms with its presence, and Team 17's other big revival, Alien Breed: Evolution, appears to be doing the same thing. Of course, with third party exclusivity comes emotional fanboys making wild accusations of treachery and conspiracies, which Team 17 has put down quite emphatically. 

"Obviously we'd like everything on every platform day one," explains studio boss Martyn Brown. "The LIVE Arcade thing … we get accused of being bribed or we've took Microsoft's money, and it's all bollocks.

"The reason is that we've got a long relationship with Microsoft's first party unit. We get on great with them. In exchange for exclusivity we get a lot more promotion. We've got a closer deal with them. That's just how it is. It's unfortunate. That's just how we work. I appreciate PS3 owners getting pissed off because it's not on their platform immediately, but that's up to Sony I guess to address that.

"They've [Sony] got their own exclusives. You look at Super Stardust, which is exclusive to PS3. It works the other way round. For people complaining, at the same time, people on LIVE Arcade can't play Super Stardust or PAIN or a bunch of titles. It's just the way the world works really."

I didn't realize PS3 fans were getting that pissed off at Team 17, but it just goes to show that console loyalists will find anything to get distraught over. I suppose that's what happens with teenagers (or adults with the minds of teenagers) continue to live in idealistic dreamworlds facilitated by the fact that they live with their parents and don't understand that people need to make business decisions. A fair few members of the gaming community really should learn how to be realistic and understand that if the world ran their way, nobody would have any money.

Star Fox: Shadows of Lylat is a fan made Star Fox project that has been in the works for six years now. Six years is a long time for a fan project but there’s a lot on offer here. Space and ground missions, co-op, multiplayer, a deep storyline, massive enemies to much more. Plus, the game looks amazing.

Shadows of Lylat seems to be exactly like the kind of sequel we should have gotten in the first place. Not some stupid game with dinosaurs (Star Fox Adventures) and not that game with the really horrible voice-over work (Star Fox Assault). No word on a release date but you can find out more info over on the game's Web site.

Hit the break to check out the trailer. How's it looking to you?

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My God this game is looking incredible.

After more than a year in production (and after a fair share of Destructoid posts about it), the fan remake of underrated Game Boy game Metroid II: Return of Samus is nearing completion. Now, before you go clicking the jump and checking out the recently released third trailer for the game, I have to issue a warning: If you are a retro Metroid fan (and especially if you love Metroid II and Super Metroid), this trailer may give you a stroke.

I don’t even know where to start. Shall we talk about the gorgeous, SNES-era graphics? The stunning animation? The music? Hopefully the left side of your face doesn’t go numb after viewing. If you can still type, sound off in the comments with your thoughts. Could this be one of the most beautiful Metroid games ever? I say most definitely yes! Let’s just hope Nintendo and its highly paid lawyers don’t freak out too much.

And, for the record, “getting the fish sweats” is a very good thing. Just ask all the Destructoid editors after our ridiculous (and delicious!) sushi binge right before E3.

[Via GoNintendo]

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Killzone 2 launched exclusively for the PlayStation 3 this Friday, generating much bias from biased people who are biased. It also sold quite a few copies and has been setting the PlayStation Network afire with grenade spam and shotgun rampages. It is a great game.

It is also blatantly better than Halo 3. 

Because one good thing cannot exist in this world without something else being absolutely rubbish, we present our concise and thoughtful argument explaining exactly how Killzone 2 is blatantly better than Halo 3.

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In 1938, Orson Welles narrated and directed a radio adaptation of H.G Wells' classic sci-fi novel, The War of the Worlds. Using the book as the basis of a simulated news broadcast, Welles and his cast members detailed the invasion of Earth by a race of malevolent Martians.

While much of what happened after is more suited for the subject of urban legends, there are still reports of panic and hysteria following the broadcast. It took only a little suggestion before people could smell the black smoke of the Martian war machines and felt the need to flee their homes. 

The War of the Worlds broadcast is one of the more famous examples of mass hysteria and the frighteningly powerful delusions of a crowd mentality. In contemporary times, we too have our own example of humanity's "herding instinct" going into overdrive. We have console fanboys, and their increasingly paranoid delusions. 

While they sometimes have had reason to be upset (though only the most tenuous of reasons), the fanboy set has quite clearly fallen into the self-sustaining fantasies of collective obsessional behavior. Very much like War of the Worlds, it has taken very little suggestion, but they now believe fiction as fact. They can smell the black smoke of their enemies. 

Yet just like those who found themselves terrified by Orson Welles that dark October night, these poor lost souls are only trolling themselves now.

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This was already addressed, but it seems like fanboys are still causing trouble with their tendency to use Metacritic's user reviews as giant wang-measuring contests. Feeling the sting from having Killzone 2's user rating reduced to kibble by 360 fetishists, it would appear on the surface that Sony fans responded in kind to upcoming 360 exclusive Halo Wars, giving it a delightful 0.8 out of 10. That'll hurt sales!

This recently made news because people were wondering why Metacritic was still allowing this kind of silliness to continue. However, Metacritic has claimed that this was indeed dealt with, and the Halo Wars scoring happened before the new rules came into effect. Case closed, right? Maybe not.

See, we got to thinking, and we believe this might run far deeper. On the surface, this would indeed look like Microsoft and Sony fanboys having pissing competitions while fiddling with their testicles and snogging laminated photographs of Jack Tretton and Shane Kim. However, Jonathan Holmes offered a very intriguing question, one that has not been asked -- where were all the Nintendo fanboys when this was going down?

Indeed, Wii titles seemed relatively unscathed during the whole fiasco, while PS3 and Xbox 360 exclusives were the ones having their user ratings unfairly fiddled with. Far be it from us to suggest that certain waggle fans are the machiavellian villains pulling the strings here, but think about it. Who would get more pleasure from setting two factions against each other and then laughing like capricious Gods as they sip their chiante?

It's always the ones you least suspect.

We're moments away from the televised broadcast of the 2008 Spike Video Game Awards, live from Los Angeles, California. 

Now despite the fact that I am on the 2008 VGA Advisory Council this year, helping to pick both nominees and award winners, I'm not able to attend in person. That honor goes to our very own Chad Concelmo, who just a few moments ago text messaged me "ZOMG FAMOUS PEOPLE!" after seeing what I can only assume to be be actual "famous people."

And since you can't be there either, here's what we at Destructoid propose -- we all watch it together! The show is airing live on Spike TV (check your local listings) at 9 PM EST. If you don't have cable or are too lazy to turn on your television, you can also check the broadcast from four different angles online. 

Hit the jump for our full live blog, along with a list of nominees (and my own personal choices as a VGA Advisory Council member -- yes, I expect to get flamed for some of them).

Fun things are fun!

[Update: Long-time Dtoider and swell guy Electro Lemon will be streaming the broadcast live, and has set up a chat stream via Ustream.tv. We'll all be in there watching the show ... come join us!]

[Update 2: The show is over, as is the live chat, which quickly turned into close to 200 people just yelling at each other. Thanks for watching along with us. We'll be posting all of the world premiere trailers over the next day, so be sure to check back.

Winners (in bold) after the jump.]

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This just in: Fanboys can be weird. If you need proof, look no further than Florida, where a happy couple are planning a Halo-themed wedding and intend to be married by none other than Master Chief himself. Yes.

MTV has the scoop, where it is revealed that bride-to-be Desirai Labrada took Dramamine just so she could binge on Halo 3 campaigns with fiancé John Henry and not get motion sickness. Apparently, the families of the betrothed are either confused or being kept in the dark. Desirai's bridal gown will be emblazoned with her Halo emblem, while the traditional "Bridal Theme" will of course be replaced by the famous Halo theme. 

But just in case this story couldn't get more absurd, there's this utter gem:

Full Sail suggested that the wedding get moved up to early 2009, to be held during the school’s Otronicon tech and gaming convention in Orlando. The problem was that the wedding date wouldn’t fall on any of the Halo-themed dates John and Desirai were considering, like the Halo launch anniversary in November. Full Sail’s plans called for the marriage to commence on January 17. Desirai and John accepted this non-Halo element. And then, a magical moment occurred. “At one point, I’m typing in the URL that has the date, the number 117,” Desirai said. “And I said, ‘John, what’s Master Chief’s Spartan number?’ He said: ‘117.’ ” Saved!

If the ceremony doesn't end with "you may now teabag the bride," it'll be a wasted opportunity. If you want to know more about the happy couple, check out their site. It is called -- I kid you not -- A Match Made in Halo.