Not awesome because this game looks cool mind you, awesome because this guy is really freaking excited to talk about it. As the last of Destructoids E3 coverage rolls in (that show was like sooo July 13th...), this is a fitting way to demonstrate the impact that event has on the mind, body, and soul, and that too much Red Bull does have side effects.

This guy could flip out at any minute and just start eating people. I don't think my eyes could stay that wide even if I had just walked in on a real life Power Ranger playing Wii Sports in my living room while the ghost of my great-grandmother rolled a doobie on the couch. Seriously, watch this video without the sound on. I dare you.

Imagine the sleep this guy had when he finally made it back to Crazy Land or wherever he came from. That must have been the best sleep anyone has ever had, ever. You know what, I'm going to play this guys game just because he is such a trooper, and I hope whenever he wakes up he knows that he has +1 fan in Destructoid.

While running around Santa Monica a resident Dtoid editor scooped me on a strange coffee table gaming accessory that popped up at the event: The Wii Party Station. The uncoventional product has been met with a fair share of curiosity and disgust, so we took a moment to speak with Nyko to find out where they were going with this. As evidenced in this photo we crept up and spontaneously stress tested it (causing one guy to nearly choke on his salsa). After all, nobody parties like Dtoid ... well, except maybe CliffyB who just threatened to drink us under the table.

The first thing you need to know is that *this isn't an actual product ... yet*, it was a first-build prototype to get journalists at E3 talking about it, and that we did.  Should it do more than neatly store Wiimotes ... like charge them? Should it store chips and salsa?  Store game disks?  Extend arms to neatly prop up a pizza dish?  Keep food warm?  Dispense robot-themed condoms?

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Assassin's Creed was one of the live demos at the Microsoft press conference at E3 last week, and all I could keep thinking was "Goddamn, Jade Raymond looks hot!" Aside from that fact, this was the first time gamers got to see the game in action, albeit to mixed results.

In this developer interview, Jade talks about some of the new features seen in the presentation as well as public reaction to the game and what it's like having Shigeru Miyamoto and Hideo Kojima wanting to see what Jade and the AC team have been working on.

Honestly, it's gonna be a bad-ass game, but we all know why those two wanted to check "it" out. Right guys? Am I right? No you shut up! No you!

[Update: And again, in the language of love, after the jump. Thanks Tristero!]

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Burnout Paradise was one of the few games at this years E3 to actually draw a reasonable line (and by line, I mean three humans and a Frag Doll). As always, it's looking quite amazing, with a lot of big changes this time around. The open-ended world is the most obvious, but other things like a heavier feel to the cars, unique use of the camera peripheral, amazing new crash physics, and the ability to hop in and out of a friends city online with up to eight people, all adds up to make this a package that could rival David Bowie's in Labyrinth. 

Hit the jump for an additional developer interview, courtesy of the video gnomes at Gametrailers.com.

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When the Gamecock boys announced they would be holding a eulogy for E3, many scoffed, many scratched their heads in bewilderment, and a few even coughed uncomfortably and shifted in their seats. After all, what did an indie publisher know about an event that vanished from existence before they were formed? Proving exactly how prescient the Gamecock boys are though, they had the foresight to get other people to make asses of themselves on their behalf, and with that in mind, they tapped our very own Boss Bot Niero to eulogize the mo'f***er.

You've already seen how it actually went down, but The Boss also thought you should have a special behind-the-scenes look at what the eulogy was originally planned to be. Once Niero realized exactly what he had signed up for he panicked and was unfit for anything other than drinking heavily and crying into the lonely night, and I was called upon to exhume the corpse of Oscar Wilde and see just how much wit I could shake out of his desiccated bones. From that decrepit corpse flowed the original draft of the eulogy, which you can find after the jump.

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When the public masses encounter the shining silver legend that is the official Mr. Destructoid Robot, it's not uncommon for their tiny influential brains to become overwhelmed with high levels of awesome. At times this results in vocal exclamations of "Woah there Mr. Robot!", at others, favorable journalistic blunders ordaining Niero as the Creative Director of Nintendo. One thing however is known to be true; that the Robot has the ability to elicit all ranges of win within the little people. A mere glimpse of his helmet sets people ecstatic to see a Robot walking among us, and most likely in a much more stylish manner than themselves.  

What became exceedingly clear over the course of E3 is the underlying truth that Destructoid owns all visually (and in everything else of course), successfully dominating with every step he takes in the most brilliant shades of epic. Having the role as Mr. Destructoid's personal photographer, I share with you the many sightings of the Robot in the following gallery. I mean, who doesn't look good next to a robot in an ice-cream white suit anyway?

[Special thanks to Chris Furniss of The Weekly Geek & Magi Tiks for some of the photos!]

At this year's E3, there was one big question exchanged between journalists, industry folk, and pretty much everybody present: do you like the new E3? How different is it? Where the hell are all the scantily-clad booth babes? Sure, that might've sounded like three questions, but they're all part of a greater theme: the new versus the old.

Those familiar with the epic saga of one Destru C. Toid knows how this little experiment came to be: Niero created a Web site with the aim of fooling the E3 people and letting him into the show. Things have changed quite a bit in a year; our staff has jigtupled, our readership is growing day by day, and last week nine of us were unleashed upon the invitation-only, kinder, gentler E3 where men lived and died by shuttle schedules.

Niero's been to the big dance before, but this was my first visit and first major industry event -- unless, of course, you count that sexy slumber party/trade show that Anthony and I held in an abandoned factory where nobody else showed up -- so we figured ourselves the perfect pairing of veteran and newbie to mark up impressions of the show at large. Hit that jump like it deserves it.

 

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With a dramatic change nothing short of brilliant, comes a great deal of withdrawl. After the loss of yesteryear's E3, Gamecock brought it upon themselves to not only mourn the show we once knew and loved, but welcome its newly-born stepchild... EIEIO. Thanks to .tiff, the event has already been covered in great detail, but now it's time to take a look back. With that I present to you Destructoid's coverage of the event. Be sure to hang around for the rather infamous Mr. Destructoid Rick Roll. This is the first time in history that it has been done at a Eulogy (Eugooglely) and we are proud to establish this milestone.

Alright you princes of Azeroth. You kings of Aiur. Naturally Blizzard Entertainment did show its face at E3, with press kits bubbling afresh with fancy screenshots and sparkling glimpses of what's to come in both World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade and the much anticipated Starcraft II. Sadly what they had to say about Starcraft II wasn't nearly enough to get your pylons in a twist, but to see what Blizzard had to offer for both Starcrafters and Warcrafters alike, hit the jump. view full story + comments

Oh, Peter Moore -- you titan of industry, you icon, you had to up and leave us, didn't you? And just hours before I planned on publishing this interview. While latching onto a new face as the public persona for Xbox and Games for Windows might take some time, at least he hasn't left us completely -- give him a year and he'll probably be sporting a Sims III tattoo at the next big trade show.

Before I'm drawn and quartered, a forewarning: we did have a bunch of questions to ask Peter from our community, but I wasn't the bloke originally scheduled to meet with him -- the short version is that the staffer scheduled couldn't make it, and I was saddled with the responsibility in the van on the way to the Viceroy and had about 12 minutes to come up with questions. So if you're looking for your question, sorry -- wi-fi internet access doesn't come standard on rented 2005 Toyota Siennas.

In the mean time, here's Destructoid's final interview with Peter Moore as the head honch of Xbox, in which we talk about Microsoft's plans for the newly-risen casual gaming market, Games for Windows, user-generated content and more. Hit the jump for the full transcript and keep an eye on this space for some video of our interview. 

Big thanks to Peter Moore for taking the time to speak with us.

 

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The final game I was shown while meeting with Atari turned out to be a wonderfully pleasant surprise to round off my afternoon. Polish publishing company CD Projekt's upcoming fantasy RPG for the PC, The Witcher, attempts to redefine the generic RPG into a complexly involved gaming experience unlike any RPG before it. The narrative, a continuation to a series of popular Polish fantasy novels by author Andrzej Sapkowski, places you in the shoes of a mutant assassin named Geralt and follows his journey of morality choices to unfold a fully unique experience each time you play.

To see what this beautiful gem of a game is all about, and to observe the first time I've virtually drooled all over an RPG since I first discovered the Final Fantasy series, hit the jump. view full story + comments

Jamie Kennedy -- star of such cinematic blockbusters as Son of the Mask and Malibu's Most Wanted -- sucks as a person. After watching the above clip, the only thought that keeps me from drowning my sorrows in a crimson spray flowing freely from my slashed wrists is the idea that Mr. Kennedy realizes exactly how stupid mainstream America has become, and has made a career cleverly capitalizing on the joy all the fat Minnesotan housewives take from watching a caucasian person act in a stereotypically non-caucasian manner.

If he, in fact, has honed his craft into the abomination you just witnessed, I know a guy who sells Klonopin and plastic bags. Just gimme a call and we'll go into that sweet night together.

While it may have appeared as though I spent the majority of my time at E3 dumpster diving and scrounging for free stuff around the hangar, believe it or not I actually had a chance to see a few games here and there too. Atari invited me to their swanky food-stocked cove to take a look at what they had in store for this year. 

Since I know you all have been dying to hear about how Jenga for the Wii is, and are equally as ecstatic to see what the game Godzilla: Unleashed is all about, hit the jump for my personal experience with both.

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