It's a question we've all asked ourselves at one point or another in our lives. Why isn't there more female screaming and people pissing on themselves in videogames? The Postal series tried to bring these noble experiences to the world of interactive entertainment, but for all the franchise's tastelessness, it were these two items that were considered too extreme for Western audiences.

"Well, it was kind of weird and amusing when we had to cut all the female moans and screams out of Postal 1 for release in Britain due to sensitivity surrounding the tragic death of Princess Diana," explains lead designer Steve Wik. "Interestingly, we had problems with the pissing in Postal II in America. It seems that some consider it a 'sex act.' It's ironic because the only reason we put it in the game was to provide a method of putting yourself out when you caught on fire! ... We were so naive ..."

It just goes to show how dirty minded the so-called moral majority are. Only someone with a truly filthy mind could see a man pissing on himself to put out a fire and instantly link it to sex, but it's ironically how the moral fundamentalist right-wingers seem to think.

That said, I think linking female screams to Princess Diana is far more stupid than linking urine to sex.

Uwe, Uwe, Uwe. Wouldn't your money be better spent making another one of your highly entertaining movies?

Developer Running with Scissors says that Boll has paid to appear in the upcoming game Postal 3, coming out for the Xbox 360, PS3, and PC, hopefully some time this year. 

"Uwe Boll paid us to put him in the game," Vince Desi, RWS boss, told Eurogamer. "We agreed when he licensed the movie rights."

Boll will be playing himself in the game, and it sounds like we'll be able to go Postal on him in it: "Uwe will be presented as himself and of course you can have fun with him, it's Postal!" said Desi.

I'm not coming down on Boll for paying to get into a videogame. Hell, I'd pay to get my face in a game. But this one is a little too close to home, and he knows he'll end up being a target of some kind. It's his money, I guess.

Speaking of silly, check out the Running with Scissors webpage. They clearly don't know their Asians from one another [facepalm], but they do have babe galleries and interview sessions.

Developer Running With Scissors has joined Good Old Games, which resulted in a couple of things happening. First, the original isometric Postal: Classic and Uncut is available for $5.99, and secondly, Postal 2 will be released within the next few weeks or so.

There's always been controversy surrounding Postal, whether it's caused from the games being banned, or even the Uwe Boll-directed movie. But how many of us have actually played either of the two games before? I know I haven't. It seems like this could be the prime opportunity to get in on that action, doesn't it?

This weekend's GOG promo, which runs until this Monday, is 25% off a bundle containing Stronghold and Stronghold: Crusader. If you love building virtual cities as much as I do, read more about the deal here.

Believe it or not, but it's been ten years since Running With Scissors first upset and shocked the gaming world with their over-the-top PC first-person shooter, POSTAL. To commemorate the occasion, they'll be releasing the POSTAL: 10th Anniversary Collector's Edition boxed set, that comes with a bunch of great goodies. And boobs. 

The set ships in one of the cooler packages seen on the market -- a Postal KrotchyO's cereal box. The box is packed with stuff including: the original POSTAL and POSTAL Plus; POSTAL 2: Share the Pain; POSTAL 2: Apocalypse Weekend; four user mods; dozens of videos; a music CD; POSTAL comics; posters; a stickum play set; and ten sets of "Postal Babe" photos. See, I told you there were boobs.

The entire package runs at  more than respectable $39.99, and is available for a limited time only. You can order it online at the official POSTAL Web site, which also contains more than a few pictures of scantily clad women, as well as some stuff about the game. You know, if you're into that kind of stuff.

I like the guys from Running With Scissors. Far from being the baby-eating, kitten-punching corrupters of children that certain quarters would paint them as, I've always found them to be thoroughly funny and intelligent people, passionate but down to Earth, considered but with an anarchic sense of fun, and always willing to throw a sick joke into even the most serious conversation. In short, my kind of people.

After myself and Jim spoke to Postal 3 Product Manager Mike Jaret a while back we kept in touch, and finding that both Destructoid and RWS were going to be at this year's Leipzig Games Convention, we decided to make the time to meet up. And thus, a tad weary and battered by the onslaught of the GC, myself, Mike, and company CEO Vince Desi found ourselves taking refuge in the sanctuary of the convention center's cafeteria to take a break from the madness for half an hour, and you can find the resulting conversation after the jump. 

It was a fun and worthwhile talk, conducted days after Manhunt 2's eventual approval by the ESRB while the game's UK release remained up in the air, - a situation which sadly still hasn't changed - during which we took in the Postal games, the joys of comedy violence in the media, the failings of both the ESRB and Take2, over-complicated and patronizing games ratings systems and of course, Harry Potter's sexual problems. Hit the jump. You know you want to. 

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Aaah, the Postal series. At once a paragon of tasteless humor and of gamers collectively banging their heads on desks with disgust, nobody can deny that Running With Scissors' oft-controversial series will always have a place -- however dubious -- in videogame history. So, who's up for a third installment? I know I am. With Uwe Boll's tenuous-at-best adaptation hitting cinema screens, news about Postal III coming to both PC and Xbox 360 couldn't be more apt.

Switching first person shooting for third person, free roaming adventuring, this second sequel sees Postal Dude entering the city of Catharsis, a city that sports eco-terrorists, Uncle Dave's Zealot Nuns (!) and, of course, the Taliban. Promised new weapons include the Harnessed Badger Saw and Chain Scythe, with more to be delivered. If the developers are to be believed, this latest installment won't be just a shoddily pieced together game that relies on toilet humor and terrorists to make a name for itself. Promising a "complex AI" and three moral paths to choose (the good, the bad and the insane) as well as being powered by Valve's Source Engine, Postal III might be trying to become a legitimate videogame in the eyes of the people. 

While we wait and see if Postal III can break the series' mold, take a peek at the small selection of screenshots below, and check out Akella's minisite. In the meantime, I'm going to quietly confess that I actually have some hope for this.

In the most hilarious case of sour grapes I've seen since Richard Nixon punched out a donkey during a fundraiser in 1974, Uwe Boll seems to be firing back at Wired for their negative review of Postal, his film based on a similarly titled video game. Here's a quote from the e-mail sent by Mr. Boll to Wired:

your review shows me only that you dont understand anything about movies and that you are a untalented wanna bee filmmaker with no balls and no understanding what POSTAL is. you dont see courage because you are nothing. and no go to your mum and fuck her  ...because she cooks for you now since 30 years  ..so she deserves it.

MEOW! This cat has CLAWS!

At this point, no one really expects Uwe's movies to be worthwhile, but it is refreshing to see him defend himself so fervently. As much as the man can't make a film worth the celluloid it was etched upon, I gain a lot of respect for a guy who has the utter insanity to swear at nearly-fictional Internet reviewers for panning a movie that -- according to common knowledge -- exists only as a clever German tax dodge. If his whole career is just one big ironic gag, I live in awe of Mr. Boll.

(Editor's Note: The picture accompanying this post is not funny. Do not look for a joke in it, as there are none. -- The Board) 

It's known (in the gaming world, at least) that famed game film maker Uwe Boll likes to push people's buttons, but now it looks like he picked on the wrong people, and they're taking him to court.

In what may be a clever attempt to get back at the New York Post for publishing negative things about one of his movies, Boll made two websites that look similar to the Post's web site to promote his game-turned-film Postal. The conflict between Boll and the Post began on April 15th, when the Post published an article about the movie's release.

The brilliantly named New York Postal is still up, and visitors to the site will notice the headline that mocks this very lawsuit (pictured above). The other site mentioned is not anymore. We're not sure what happened there.

The Post says that Boll's web sites represent "brazen and unlawful infringement of the New York Post's valuable intellectual property." They are asking that the sites be taken down, the domain names be transfered to them, and are also asking for unspecified damages.

[Via NY Sun]

Uwe Boll, the wackiest German since Colonel Klink, recently conducted an interview with Deutsch games site Area Games in which he says the final words you will ever read before your eyeballs burst from their sockets and your face spontaneously combusts out of sheer incredulity. I'm going to quote him, but please, make sure any children have left the room, and remain seated for the duration of the quote.

POSTAL is my final statement. You can’t make a more radical movie.

At the film market in Cannes POSTAL got STANDING OVATIONS [capitalisation by Boll]. No other film has ever been applauded there since it’s all business people who attend the screenings. It’s one of the best films of all time!

There is no way you can ignore POSTAL - it’s one of the funniest and most important films of the last decade!

You guys still with me? Yeah, you read that correctly. He not only claims Postal -- a film based on a game in which you have the option to use a cat's anus as a silencer while murdering innocent bystanders -- is one of the "best films of all time", he then goes on to say it's "one of the funniest and most important films of the last decade". I realize there's a certain level of hyperbole that directors have to add to their own work, but Mr. Boll seems to have confused "superlative self-praise for one's own work" with "spend a week snorting cocaine out of the skulls of dead babies".

Hell has apparently frozen over. Pigs can fly, Clownshoes can write, and Ron Workman has joined the magical realm of Azeroth. Ladies and gentlemen, the rumor brimming all over the interweb is that crapzilla video game film maker Uwe Boll has produced a good film based on Postal, the ultra-violent shooter that takes in all the violence in GTA and coats it with cat feces.  Here's the note:

Rather than continuing to fight his public and online image Boll has decided to embrace it, intentionally elevating the level of absurdity and shlock here to never before seen levels, all in the name of creating one of the most coarse, vulgar and offensive comedies ever put to celluloid.

This seems hard to believe -- especially after the awkward trailer and snipperts we posted a few weeks ago. Nevertheless, the review comes from a trusted indie review source Twitch so I'm inclined to believe it holds some weight. Nevertheless, Destructoid has alterted the FBI and that journalist's financial records are being combed for recent deposits of Deutschmarks and Bloodrayne's panties.

[Via 1-Up] 

The creators of the Postal series have always been fans of pushing the envelope of good taste. Describing them as a less satiric version of Matt Stone and Trey Parker would be pretty accurate, although there are a number of fourteen year olds who could confuse using a cat's anus as a silencer for a rifle as some kind of satire. Then again, fourteen year olds, by default, have a horrible grasp on satire, irony, and almost everything Dennis Miller has ever said.

Hit the jump for excerpts from an interview conducted by Next-Gen that explains exactly why the upcoming Postal movie will more than not likely lead to the death of a beloved auteur.

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As you may know, Uwe Boll, director of infamous masterpieces as House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark and Blood Rayne is filming his latest project Postal. This time it seems like he really tried to give it a little extra of that trash factor, but then again no one can tell the difference in his other movies. Anyway, in order to fulfill hardcore gamers' deepest desires, he decided to put Osama Bin Laden in the teaser ... and he has an important message for you.

 

Did you know Scut Farkus from A Christmas Story is in Uwe Boll's epic masterpiece Postal? I sure as hell didn't. But it's pretty damn funny that he is. Take a look at these pics from the NeoGAF forum of the cast in action over at the turd-to-be Postal. Taking a gander at them, it looks as if this movie is going to be one campy assfest. Hot chicks: check. Stereotypical terrorist bad dudes: check. Buff and lame childhood star: check. Piss poor director: check. Yep, all the bases covered. [Via 1UP]

Not that it will stop the game from sucking ass, but it has been announced that the next craptard in the Postal series will plop itself onto the Xbox 360, as well as the PC, using the Source engine. Considering how awful the first two were and the fact that Uwe Bowlmovement is making a movie based on Postal, should we even be a smidgen excited about this announcement? Well, according to Running With Scissors CEO Vince Desi, you should: "We started this series back in 1997 and while the franchise has grown into an international computer game sensation during that time, it has always been our goal to bring it to the videogame console marketplace. For many years I’ve been asked by gamers around the world when Postal will appear on console. I’m so proud to be able to answer our fans' prayers." I wonder how many fans' prayers there were. Ten, 20, maybe even 21?