I am unsure of why we are seeing trailers for videogames come out of a candy apple tasting convention, but nonetheless, above you will find the trailer for Hothead's upcoming PC title, Deathspank. My mother administered a deathspank once, when my younger brother was caught chewing the legs of our household furniture. It was a sad day.

The video displays a young gentleman clad in armor, running about killing skeletons. There is no spanking that I can see, just axes and lightning attacks, which makes this trailer suitable for viewing in a work environment. Surely Geraldo beedog would not post footage of the NSFW variety. How dare you insinuate otherwise. I bring you this trailer in the name of NEWS.

The game will soon be available for PC in these United States, though we have not received an official release date as of yet. It has been described by some as "Monkey Island meets Diablo," and I cannot fathom what that means. I still do not understand what any of this has to do with candy apples.

[Geraldo Beedog is a guest blogger and respected member of Destructoid's standby editorial staff. He is best known for his work in uncovering the tomb of King Tutan-Ramen and exposing the truth behind the JosephGate scandal of 2008. You may follow him on Twitter.]

So, it is TRUE! After much speculation and smartypants talk about this ominous teaser site, Square-Enix has officially announced that it will be publishing Modern Warfare 2 in Japan. Geraldo Beedog knew this already, because JOURNALISM. Also, the site thingy had a "2" on it and a copyright statement that said Call of Duty and Activision.

Square-Enix made a formal proclamation today about this thing I already knew, (because JOURNALISM), stating that the game would be available in Japan this Winter. The company is also set to republish the original Modern Warfare in Japan as part of the Xbox 360's Platinum Collection.

Modern Warfare 2 will be coming to the PS3, Xbox 360 and PC, and I totally told you so.

[Geraldo Beedog is a guest blogger and respected member of Destructoid's standby editorial staff. He is best known for his work in uncovering the tomb of King Tutan-Ramen and exposing the truth behind the JosephGate scandal of 2008. You may follow him on Twitter.]

Greetings, patrons of Destructoid. It is with great honor that I, Geraldo Beedog, might stand at the helm to oversee this week's FRIDAY opening ceremony. It has come to my attenion that festivities are taking place in the Pacific Northwest region of these United States, and as such, Topher is left in need of support. He has thusly entrusted YOURS TRULY to take up the yoke of TRUE JOURNALISM and cover him on this post.

Surely he intends to report the lesser, unimportant news and leave the HARD-HITTING stories to be handled by an old pro. I accept this responsibility and vow to do my best while the rest of the Destructoid editorial staff is away, participating in their candy apple tasting convention, which is what I was told is presently happening in the great city of Seattle.

THEREFORE let us begin. I have been instructed to inquire of you your plans for the upcoming WEEKEND, in order to create the illusion that there is an actual point to this weekly post. I invite you, dearest, beloved, beautiful readers, to carry on beyond the jump to answer this question in the comments. I also invite you to enjoy the videographic entertainment I have provided there, as well as the above photograph of Mrs. Beedog and our two lovely children.

Thank you, and let us now begin to FRIDAY.

[Geraldo Beedog is a guest blogger and respected member of Destructoid's standby editorial staff. He is best known for his work in uncovering the tomb of King Tutan-Ramen and exposing the truth behind the JosephGate scandal of 2008. You may follow him on Twitter.]

Greetings, patrons of Destructoid. It is with a sense of entitlement  great honor that I return to the front page of this fine website, to once again bestow upon you the gift of JOURNALISM. Anthony Burch has chosen yours truly -- surely based on my CREDENTIALS -- to act as a guest blogger, that I may bring you the following feature regarding a supremely newsworthy topic:

Young ladies of the videogame world whose leg I would like to hump.

Given that I am a certified expert in both videogames and the art of leg humpery, it should come as no surprise that this article has been comissioned. Surely it is due to a NEED for my vast knowledge on these subjects to be shared, and not simply because Anthony and Jim did it and I wanted a piece of that same action. Carry on beyond the jump, dear readers, that I may relay to you which legs in particular are most in need of a vigorous nailing.