Having formulated plans for almost every eventuality once the dead rise, or the virus breaks out, or whatever flavor of zombie apocalypse you prefer, the brief time I had my hands on Left 4 Dead at PAX resulted in a horrifying revelation. If the zombie apocalypse ever actually happens and I'm forced to fend for myself with whatever I'm lucky enough to have at hand I am well and truly screwed.

The high population center scenarios of Left 4 Dead aren't the kind of thing for which zombiphiles usually prepare. Realizing that to stay in a place brimming with creatures that want to rend you limb from limb is likely to result in the five and ten minute strolls my teammates and I took before being clawed to death while our screams mingled with the animal shrieks of zombies at a feast.

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A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to take in a panel at one of the less reported gaming events, Casual Connect. The thing to understand about this kind of event is that it's more of a con in the conference sense than the convention sense, and as such not exactly made for gamers so much as the companies cranking out the games. But in perusing the list of presentations, panels, and previews one session seemingly demanded my critical eye: The Games Women Play.

Considering some of my previous tirades, it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume I had less than good intentions going in. Frankly, I expected to show up and listen to some executives glad-hand each other while demeaning women as a whole. I'd take it all in and spit it back out in a pleasantly self-righteous screed lashing out at the casual games industry for their blatantly sexist views. The scoundrels.

Thankfully, something far more interesting than a round of smug, intellectual sanctimony occurred, and I learned a few lessons for which I've long been overdue.

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One of the chief concerns I've heard from people regarding Cryptic Studios' upcoming MMO for PC and Xbox 360, Champions Online_, is the lack of the beloved WASD -- at least for the Xbox 360 version of the game. It's a common point of contention considering a console controller simply isn't capable of the hot-key infused feats of a keyboard or the tunable accuracy of a mouse. Part and parcel of the laundry list of arcane key combinations is a myriad of feedback HUDs that can take up a fair chunk of screen real estate.

Even so, by and large the reaction to the idea of playing Champions Online on the Xbox 360 from MMO gamers has been half-hearted enthusiasm followed by a hesitant "Maybe" and the silent assertion that only the PC version of Champions Online will cross their threshold. But that's not an unwarranted reaction given the bond forged by years of basking in the cool glow of a monitor, tapping out spells, swordplay, and space-battle with a group of similarly enraptured inter-nautical crusaders.

Firsts hands-on impressions after the jump.

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Following Nintendo's underwhelming dog and pony show at E3, a whole slew of folks happily jumped on the Nintendo bashing bandwagon. Which really was the only appropriate response. Perhaps not bashing per se, but lambasting, rebuking, chastising, criticizing, and other words that end in "ing" and mean calling someone out for epic failure most definitely. Considering Nintendo's been in business for over 100 years now they should know better than to expect warm fuzzies and lengthy litanies on how just how gosh-darn proud everyone is of the effort they put forth in disappointing the everliving crap out of their fans.

Naturally that spawned a backlash of its own. A chorus of kinder souls calling foul on those among the gaming community that had the sheer audacity to say anything about Nintendo's display other than "Man, Miyamoto simulates clumsy oral sex flute-playing so good!" Which, in all fairness, would actually have been kind of true.

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[As originally posted on Tomopop]

I'm beginning to think Gamecock should just quit the gaming business and make toys. Toycock? Figurecock? Yeah, doesn't quite have the same ring to it I guess. At least when you pre-order Mushroom Men: The Spore Wars at Gamestop you can pretend that Gamecock has heeded their true calling when the screechy voiced clerk deposits a sweat-damp statuette of "Pax" into your hand. The figure is accompanied by a pack of trading cards for...trading I guess, though last I checked the Mushroom Men trading card craze never really took off.

This is great for Wii owners and all, but I'm still tapping my foot impatiently waiting for Gamecock to announce some Insecticide figures. Come on guys, anthropomorphized bugs designed in a Doublefine Studios style? You couldn't ask for a better toy template.

[Via Wiifanboy -- Thanks, Jonathan!]

[As originally posted on Tomopop]

Normally I'm not much of a statuary fan, being of the opinion that you should actually be able to play with your toys after you buy them rather then look longingly at their stoic visages collecting dust on a high shelf. But in this case I think maybe I'll make an exception.

First 4 Figures has unveiled the first in a series of Ninja Gaiden II figures which, of course, has been kicked off by none other than Ryu Hayabusa himself. Ryu comes in his default black costume with his tools of the trade, the Dragon Sword, Eclipse Scythe, and Falcon's Talon. What really puts this piece over the acceptable line though are the small details First 4 Figures has put into the piece, namely the artificial grass and swords of the fallen in the base of the statue making it seem as though Ryu was simply plucked from life mid-carnage.

However, at $350 per statue this may end up being a collection dream rather than a reality for many of us. What say you? Is $350 over the top for a little piece of Ninja Gaiden II?

[Thanks, Kryptinite!]

While you're sure to get all the Gears of War 2 lovin' you'll need from our E3 coverage, every little bit of blood-soaked info is welcome when it comes the sequel for Microsoft's rampaging shooter. There's a slew of concept art and desktop wallpapers available on the recently unveiled site, as well as some new shots of the assault derrick. But, of course, that's not all.

There's also two new characters introduced on the site: Dizzy Wallin, former Stranded turned soldier who apparently does a mean impression of a sad cowboy, and Tai Kaliso, a warrior-philosopher with a bit of history with Marcus Fenix. Additionally, Rockworms are revealed as a new enemy, and look for all the world like a cross between an HR Giger fever dream and the more disgusting stages of insect life-cycles.

Go on and revel in every gorey little detail, the screenshots and concept art alone is worth the trip.

The first thing to understand about Champions Online is that it is not City of Heroes 2: Hellions' Revenge. They're obviously similar, and it would be insulting to suggest otherwise, but the development of Champions Online has had the benefit of a supremely rich history, starting in 1981 with the first publication of the Champions tabletop RPG. The role playing roots of Champions Online are steeped in adoration, thanks to the original tabletop game's HERO system, a somewhat complex framework which for many was hit or miss.

It's obvious that for the folks at Cryptic, Champions hit and hit big, and that passion for the original IP comes through in Champions Online. During a recent tour of Cryptic Studios I had an opportunity take in some of the superheroic sights and got a second-to-none education in Champions Online.

Incinerate the jump with your eye-lasers for some hands-off impressions of Champions Online and its denizens. 

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So I was supposed to hold off on revealing this until tomorrow, but thanks to the folks over at Cryptic Studios I'm able to provide you with this tasty morsel of superheroic news. Today, 2k Games announced their role as the international publisher for Cryptic's upcoming superhero MMO for the Xbox 360 and PC, Champions Online.

Champions Online marks the first MMO published by 2k Games, and while naturally the respective executives are crowing over how happy they are to be working together, it's not simply lip service. Champions Online's Xbox 360 release stands to help expand MMO gameplay to an audience that either can't or won't play on a PC and aren't that into Final Fantasy XI. Unfortunately we'll have to wait until Spring 2009 to see whether Champions Online can leap the wide gap between PC and console players, or if the Xbox 360 proves to be its kryptonite.

[Via a very confused CVG]

In a recent interview between MTV's Multiplayer blog and Tim Schafer of Doublefine Studios, it was revealed that the aforementioned developers would not be presenting Brütal Legend at next week's E3. The decision was reportedly prompted by today's shareholder approval of the Activision/Blizzard merger.

It's mildly disappointing that we won't be hearing any new information on Brütal Legend, but E3 hasn't really been about the fans for a long time. What makes this tidbit all the more interesting is the latter half of the statement, in which Schafer reveals the lack of a brutal presence at E3: "We're not going to be showing at E3, but soon after that we hope."

Hmm, what other large gaming event occurs shortly after E3? I vaguely remember something about pennies or something. Granted, this is all rampant speculation on my part, but if Doublefine decided to show off Brütal Legend at PAX rather than E3, then they know on which side their bread is buttered. What better way to debut your game than at a convention actually held for gamers rather than an exclusive media event?

If someone were to ask what you thought we could use more of on the DS, RPGs likely aren't going to be the first idea out of your mouth. Not that RPGs on the DS are bad in any way simply on the face of them, but there's a glut of the things, and quite a few of them are simply utilized as channels through which shovelware can be, well, shoveled.

But if that same imaginary writing device said they were releasing an RPG for the DS crafted by Hironobu Sakagushi and Nobuo Uematsu of Final Fantasy fame -- as well as Naoto Oshima, who worked on a little thing called Phantasy Star (maybe you've heard of it) -- it's safe to assume you'd be more than a little enthused. Well, strap on your enthusiasm-safety-goggles, because Majesco is doing just that.

Majesco has announced an RPG for the DS called AWAY Shuffle Dungeon today, being developed by Mistwalker Studios. The game centers around "Sword" and his quest to rescue villagers kidnapped from the village of Webb by some mysterious evil. The plot is basically de rigueur when it comes to RPGs, but with the names attached to this release, the game could be about rescuing slices of white bread from the indignity of growing moldy in my refrigerator and I'd still pick up a copy.

AWAY Shuffle Dungeon will also feature a co-op Raid Battle Mode, in which special weapons and armor can be equipped that are unable to be used in a single player campaign. Between this and the upcoming Chrono Trigger port, this is shaping up to be a great time to be a DS owner.

Hit the jump for the full release.

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That's right, Toidertots, we've got next week's rock offerings a couple days early. On July 8th (the 10th for you PSTriple-ites) Harmonix is serving up a delicious rock stew featuring Red Hot Chili Peppers tracks "Snow ((Hey Oh))" and "Tell Me Baby", as well as Rush tracks "Closer to the Heart" and "Working Man." Each track is $1.99 (160 Microsoft points) and all tracks are masters.

You read right: Harmonix has managed to wrangle a master version of "Working Man." Not only a master, but a master with an alternate solo that has yet to be released publicly. Those of you that count themselves among the cult of Geddy Lee fans may need a moment to clean up the results of the pants-wetting excitement you just experienced. In the mean time, enjoy an intimate performance of "Closer to the Heart" featuring the musical stylings of none other than Bubbles himself.

[power-glove is a scholar and a gentleman]

Those of you disappointed in the less-than-stellar performance of Insecticide on the DS, but not inspired enough to put forth the momentous effort required to pick it up for the PC, take heart! Gamecock has announced an agreement with Valve Studios allowing them to launch their titles on Steam starting today.

The first titles available on Steam are Stronghold Crusader Extreme, a title picked up by Gamecock from Firefly Studios, and Insecticide Part One. So if a noir-themed insect shooter isn't quite your bag, you can find solace in the decimation of the Middle East and its inhabitants via Stronghold Crusader Extreme. Isn't cultural exchange fun?

Part two of Insecticide, Legendary, and Velvet Assassin will be available on Steam later this year. While I'm hesitant to spend more money on Insecticide, there's just something about bug noir I really can't resist, especially sans hard copy. Hit the jump for the full release.

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OK, I get that everyone has different tastes. Really, I do. But why, Harmonix? Why follow up the Pixies and Weezer with Mötley Crüe, Papa Roach, and Trapt? I thought we were friends, man.

Yeah, yeah, you're kicking off your Rock Band Truck Tour, and you'll be at Crüefest, which will make you look really edgy to the kind of people that go to Mötley Crüe concerts. But you're also going to be at Lollapalooza and Vans Warped Tour! Would a little Gnarls Barkley and Gogol Bordello (both appearing at Lollapalooza) have been too much to ask for this week?!

At least you had the decency to include a free track -- a song by a fictitious band called Vesuvius from an upcoming comedy film called The Rocker. Look, man, Activision is starting to show you up. Activision! You used to be on top and now you're letting the guys that all but abandoned DLC walk right in and take over. I feel like I don't even know you sometimes.

Hit the jump for the full release on the Rock Band Truck Tour.

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